Can you help me , I have a real problem with self esteem , what can I do to fix !


Question: Ever since I was a child I had to do something really funny to get my parents attention . And as a child I needed that so much , that I got really good at imitating , acting , facial expressions , music everything.

But Now I am learning that It was all a trick I came up with due to the lack of love and attention my parents were giving me.

Now I want to get out of this mystified thinking of Substituting Love with attention and respect.
I think the normal way should be gaining self esteem and self confidence from being who I am and now what Kind of crazy stunt I can do , I hope you understand.

If you do , then can you please tell me how to shift my thinking from A to B.
A being -self esteem based on "what I can do " &
B being -self esteem for just being comfortable with myself.
How can I go about living a happy life?


Answers: Ever since I was a child I had to do something really funny to get my parents attention . And as a child I needed that so much , that I got really good at imitating , acting , facial expressions , music everything.

But Now I am learning that It was all a trick I came up with due to the lack of love and attention my parents were giving me.

Now I want to get out of this mystified thinking of Substituting Love with attention and respect.
I think the normal way should be gaining self esteem and self confidence from being who I am and now what Kind of crazy stunt I can do , I hope you understand.

If you do , then can you please tell me how to shift my thinking from A to B.
A being -self esteem based on "what I can do " &
B being -self esteem for just being comfortable with myself.
How can I go about living a happy life?

I understand what your saying and you realise now that the first part of rehabiliting one's self is to recognize a problem.

Your biggest problem is with yourself... you feel as if you have to do stunts to attract attention or to get a laugh out of someone else. By imitating Jim Carey, people are laughing at Jim Carey rather than laughing at you. You create masks when you do this and it's easy to be laughed at when your not yourself.

Without asking too much about yourself, I'm going to go out on a limb and say that your probably one who likes to imitate others simply because you feel your not creative enough to come up with something original.

Pioneers in comedy and entertainment often got somewhere where they are today by mimicking something someone else has already done. However, somewhere along the way, they realised they had something else to bring to the table just like yourself.

Your first homework assignment is to get a nice wardrobe. Don't dress like your favorite rockstar, actor/actress, celebrity, friends, family members... but go out and find clothing that you feel matches your personality.

Remember, your personality is not how you feel now... so don't wear black and dull colors just because you feel dull.

For example, if your a fun loving bright person, wear some loud colors and maybe a haiwaiian tropical shirt with some palm trees on it.

If your the reserved conservative.. buy a nice business like attire.

If your shy and cautious, wear some clothing without any visible logos.

Associate yourself with this particular outfit... and wear it. Provided you put it together so it matches you will eventually get a compliment on it. New clothes tend to stand out... and once someone compliments on it, associate that with them complimenting on your personality.

Secretly, you just took a chance with your personality in the form of clothes and it paid off. Learn to channel your personality into words and behavior as you did with your clothing and you'll get compliments on that as well.

No longer is it a stunt, but a behavior. Remember, it's not about confidence in the way people perceive us, it is competence. Some of us just don't know how to simply show who we are inside. The way you mimick others tells me you study people alot and are good at giving back their qualities... I know how you see the world because I did the same antics and you and I probably are looking through the same eyes.

Hope some of this helps, best of luck to you.

everyone in the whole worl is unique
right now, u r just making people like the fake screen in front of u, and u r hiding the real u, get rid of the fake screen an BE UR SELF!!! U ROCK
talk to ur parents, they will love u more

point out all of the good points about yourself. you dont have to have OTHERS point this out because you know what your good qualities are. just be positive about yourself, acknowledge your strong points. try not to worry about what other ppl say or think about you. i know this sounds kinda difficult and it was for me too at one point. but the more you tune out other ppl's opinions of yourself and start being content with who you are, the easier it will become :)

also, im sure your parents do not know they are doing this. i know they love you and think you are special, so just let them know how you feel and everything will work itself out!

I don't think there's an answer to a "happy life." You have to decide that for yourself. Try to improve your self image. I took the Mensa test when I was feeling particularly depressed or inept. I knew I was more intelligent than I felt, and joining Mensa merely proved something to myself. Good luck to you!

How you feel is really just down to you to change things. We can all be in similar situations but how we feel is just down to ourselves.

What steps have you taken to try and change this? Is this just relating to your parents or anyone you know?

Why don't your parents give you enough attention? Do you have a large family? Luckily for me I have always had alot of attention from my family and I find that people from foster families turn out to be real attention seekers with a chip on their shoulder. Sometimes they change when they meet someone who loves them alot but sometimes they crave so much attention they can't even see how much people love them.

Look within yourself and perhaps read one of those self help books on self esteem. It's useful to read about other people's experiences.

well, you made the first step by realizing what you had been doing all these years. You just need someone to talk to, maybe a gf, counselor, even your parents. You should tell them how you feel and how you've been dealing with your low self-esteem. Maybe they need a wake up call too, it may help them as well as yourself. The fact that you posted this question here shows that you have enough confidence at least to ask for help from complete strangers. Good Luck.

You need to learn to love yourself as you really are. Look at yourself and say "what they see is what they get" this is me and I am special. Everyone is, nobody is the same. Just be yourself and if there is a hard problem doing this just go speak with a counselor and get it all straightened out so you can really enjoy the rest of your live as YOU. Make a list of the good things about you and what you can do and also a list of the bad and compare. I bet there is more good than bad.===

Well dont listen to diaper face anyway. (D K or Kd or something) Youve got a really hard question ... very intelligent Q actually. I will leave to someone else, i just didn't want you listening to diaper face. Introduce love to your life!

I suggest figuring out your interests first and to love yourself for who you are.
Write a list of things that you like.
Start with your favorite color and then move on to other things...
Then list all of your personality traits...
Are you outgoing or shy?
When you start understanding who you really are and what your interests are and all that stuff you will find it much easier to start building your self esteem.
When you are confident with who you are people will see it and they will like you for who you are and things should get easier from there.
I hope I helped

Much of what everyone has said so far is good advice. You must remeber however, changes and modifications to personality does not happen overnight, but over long periods of time, otherwise you will feel like a fake. Be paitent.

Never Forget,
Just How Special You Are!


Your presence is a present to the world.

You're unique and one of a kind.

Your life can be what you want it to be.

Take the days just one at a time.

Count your blessings, not your troubles.

You'll make it through whatever comes along.

Within you are so many answers.

Understand, have courage, be strong.

Don't put limits on yourself.

So many dreams are waiting to be realized.

Decisions are too important to leave to chance.

Reach for your peak, your goal, and your prize.

Nothing wastes more energy than worrying.

The longer one carries a problem, the heavier it gets.

Don't take things too seriously.

Live a life of serenity, not a life of regrets.

Remember that a little love goes a long way.

Remember that a lot . . . goes forever.

Remember that friendship is a wise investment.

Life's treasures are people . . . together.

Realize that it's never to late.

Do ordinary things in extraordinary ways.

Have health and hope and happiness.

Take the time to wish upon a star.

And don't ever forget ... For even a day . . . How very special you are!





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