I am very insecure and defensive with my boyfriend?!
Question: My boyfriend is moving in with me on the weekend and I am looking forward to it but am also petrified of having someone around. I find it hard to touch him physically because I have been alone for so long and feel so closed off. I get defensive because I feel as though he loves his gay best friend and as though they are soul-mates, which means that I will always be second place. I find it really hard to relax and let go, and since seeing him have stopped drinking because I feel as though I need to be totally alert at all times in case he does anything or something happens. I want to be secure and relaxed with him but am finding it so hard. What can I do?
Answers: My boyfriend is moving in with me on the weekend and I am looking forward to it but am also petrified of having someone around. I find it hard to touch him physically because I have been alone for so long and feel so closed off. I get defensive because I feel as though he loves his gay best friend and as though they are soul-mates, which means that I will always be second place. I find it really hard to relax and let go, and since seeing him have stopped drinking because I feel as though I need to be totally alert at all times in case he does anything or something happens. I want to be secure and relaxed with him but am finding it so hard. What can I do?
The issues you describe are complex and I suggest you seek counselling either through your Doctor or Relate to address them. It appears you have unresolved issues from past relationships or experiences you are projecting onto this relationship. It might have been advisable to delay his moving in but I expect it would now cause problems since it's so close. Your relationship will improve once your issues have been addressed.
You're obviously not ready to co-habit with him so don't.
u love him so howucan affraid then u left him go another gay
Become secure with yourself first. That's the only way.
Are you freakin kidding me?? Call him and tell him to unpack and stay home. You cannot continue in a relationship with this guy. For your sake, and his! This is as wrong as can be. Please call it off and look at what you typed!!