I'm so depressed... can someone help?!


Question: please help me... a couple months ago this guy who I loved so badly crushed my heart and now I don't see a reason to keep living. nobody cares about me, and I would be better off dead because I wouldn't have to feel the pain I'm enduring every day. I just want to die... I cry and cry but it doesn't help. please dont suggest a counsler and stuff because the last time i went to see a counsler they made it seem like it was my fault and that no one really did care about me and that just made me want to die even more. no one loves me, and I'm never going to get a boyfriend. I just want to die.


Answers: please help me... a couple months ago this guy who I loved so badly crushed my heart and now I don't see a reason to keep living. nobody cares about me, and I would be better off dead because I wouldn't have to feel the pain I'm enduring every day. I just want to die... I cry and cry but it doesn't help. please dont suggest a counsler and stuff because the last time i went to see a counsler they made it seem like it was my fault and that no one really did care about me and that just made me want to die even more. no one loves me, and I'm never going to get a boyfriend. I just want to die.

It could be that you saw a counselor who didn't give good advice. It's important to find one who works well with you (and helps you). Just like bad doctors, there can be bad counselors too. Try not to give up on them before you try another (or even a few more) to see which one(s) work well with you.

Okay, so pulling some information that I myself learned when I used to be in counseling for depression..

I noticed that you wrote several words that were "absolutes"--blacks and whites....for instance:

"NOBODY cares about me."
"NO ONE really did care about me."
"NO ONE loves me"
"I'm NEVER going to get a boyfriend."

I point these words out because sometimes when we get depressed we see things to the extreme--"always" and "never." Something that my counselor helped me to see was that I was saying and thinking things just like you do. I was believing things in "black and white" and nothing in any "gray" areas. Whenever I would say something like, "NOBODY likes me and NOBODY EVER will," she would stop me and question me. "Is that really true? That NOBODY likes you? That NOBODY has ever liked you? And that NOBODY ever will?" Of course, what I was saying wasn't true--of course there will people that have liked me.

I needed to retrain my mind to "catch" myself whenever I started to think in these extremes and ask myself, just like she did, "Is this extreme statement really true?" The truth is that it usually wasn't.

I think that the reason you made these statements is because you're fixated on certain situations that have brought you extreme grief (such as the guy who broke your heart) and that has clouded you from seeing other situations that have brought you joy. I know that when I was having a major struggle with depression that I found it easier to focus on all of my faults and not on the positive aspects of me.

It's natural to feel hurt and sad when someone does or says something terrible to us. But it isn't natural to want to die because of it. This tells me that there is a deep struggle going on inside of you. Although the things that this guy did or said to you is hurting you, I believe that the issue goes deeper. Perhaps much, much deeper...and what he did or said was only a mirror that was held up to what was already going on on the inside of you.

As I read between the lines, I see a struggle that I myself have had. It sounds like you struggle with a deeply distorted self image. Perhaps somewhere in your past, you had a good image of who you are/were, much like looking into a clear mirror. But somewhere along the way, someone came along with a little mud and smeared it on that clear picture and changed how you saw yourself. Perhaps after that first person, many more people came by and dirtied your "inner mirror" (how you see/view yourself)...and perhaps after time, you stopped protecting yourself and merely allowed them to dirty your image of how you see yourself.

It may seem right now that there is no way for that mirror to become clean--that it will be forever dirty and that your image of yourself will be forever marred. But thankfully, that's not true. :) There is hope for you! :)

If you're committed to it, then you can begin to see yourself as you were originally created to be. :) One of the greatest strengths in life is to see yourself how God created you. I'm not sure what your beliefs are, but I believe that God has created you with a purpose in mind. You were not an accident. God knew what He was doing when He created you and He wanted you here. He has a plan for you--one that is good and right, a plan for your life that will bring you a bright future and a hope with it.

Even when others carry a bad view of you, God loves you very much. Your life was worth the life of His very dear Son Jesus Christ. He is utterly in love with you and will be the one Person who will never leave or forsake you. Even when all others abandon you, He has promised to never give up on you. His love is written in the skies every morning and at every sunset and His mercies for you are new every morning.

The Bible says that He weeps when you weep and that His heart is broken when yours is. Your tears have not go unnoticed, but, rather have been caught by His loving hand as He has longed to hold you close. He calls you to rest your head on His chest and unleash all those tears that have been bottled up inside--He wants you to release those hurts and allow them to pierce Him instead.

He wants to bring you hope and healing. A sense of hope and joy. His plans for your life are more than you could ever imagine or hope for. And it's yours for the asking. :)

I hope that you will find as much love and healing as I did when I asked Him to come and help me. His healing hand on my heart is a love that no person can ever equal. Even when other people hate me, His love remains constant and doesn't change for me....or for you either.

I hope that this brings you confidence and hope! :) You matter and YOU ARE WORTH IT. Always remember that, please. YOU ARE WORTH IT. Your life is worth it. Who you are as a person--YOU ARE WORTH IT. :) Be blessed! Praying for you.

ALL THIS CAUSE OF A DUDE? SOUBNDS LIKE ITS NOT THE DUDE, ITS YOU. SEE SOMEONE. LIFES HOW YOU MAKE OF IT SO MAKE IT AWESOME AND HAVE FUN!

don't ever think of death.
try spending your time here in Y! Answers and maybe you'll find something to inspire you to live and enjoy life.

find somebody else, and dont be tough, still love people.

hey my name is ashley and I am going through a stresssul time too. How old are you....can you private message me?

Just get a hold of me i will talk to you.

having a bf or gf just isnt worth it sometimes when ur younger than 20ish but if ur older than that idk what to tell ya.

You obviously didn't go to the right counselor. But, aside from that- find a new focus in life. Find out what YOUR passions are, NOT being passionate about someone else. You're worth it- don't let someone else determine your worth.

dont think like that think positive i have been disqualified from driving for 5 years and i still get by there are probably heaps of people who like you ill date you if you want

if you want to talk. you can IM me. my screename is TheBTPYoda on aim

um. you must be really sick in the head if you're thinking about killing yourself. do you know that you'll go to hell too? yeah, i dont think you're better off there. dont let any guy bring you down. yeah, it might hurt a lot. but you'll get over it. I'm sure you're a young one and believe me there is more time to look.

You just need to start hanging out with people more often to get him off your mind. do you know how many girls go through your situation and even worse?? YEA A LOT MORE THAN YOU THINK. doing activities and stuff all the time will make you stop thinking about him. if you're close with your mom.. tell her how your feeling.. and hopefully she will help you out. dont even think about suicide bc that's the dumbest thing i've ever heard

Hyponosis CD's. Exercise. Sunshine. Go out and be with other people. If you don't feel up to company, just go walk around the mall. Where sexy underwear. Do you your hair and make up. Fake it till you make it, basically. If it gets too bad call a suicide hotline 1-877-727-4747. I called them after my break up and they were very nice.

You really need to stop being so dependent on others for your will to live. So what if nobody loves you? Their loss. On the other hand, try being more lovable and less depressed. So what if you can't get a boyfriend only 2 months after the last one broke your heart? Relax and you'll eventually find the right person for you. Stop letting the melodrama and pitty party rule your life. Unless you're an orphan (and I'm sorry if you really are), there must be family members who care about you. Take a minute to think of those people and how they would feel if you should die. . . Good luck!

yes you might think life is over but this is only a trial you are facing which we all face sometimes just keep yourself busy go out with your friends keep your mind busy and yes you need to see a psychiatrist quick you need a antidepressant trust me that same happen to me and look at me know with somebody else a new girlfriend and a new life which is nicer than the last one you are going to get over this you are going to find a nice guy because he is not the only person in this world and you are not alone allot of people out there are going through the same thing as you going through keep busy because if you don't you are going to have bad thoughts
good luck

Dont be so negetive in life. Life is full of ups and downs and every one on earth has got problems and no one is wanting to die and i see people still trying to live and achieve. Look at people who are physically challanged !! Aren't they heart broken? No!!! They are not!!.They still try to live for themselves and try to achieve and become famous. You have just lost one boy friend.I have lost 3 who really broke my heart but this helped me a lot to understand what kind of person i need and i got her and we are happily living right now. So think positive there is a day after every night .Dont take nasty decision .
Please check my blog and leave your comments to get more help
http://trainyourmind.blogspot.com

Darling keep your chin up.. dont let no guy ruin your life..
things happen for a reason & maybe its best for you to be hurt now, cause alot of happiness is sure to follow.
You need a good friend that will help you pull through.
Don's hurt yourself over a guy..
I went through hell & back with 2 of my ex boyfriends & I have pulled through & now I have the most amzing boyfriend anyone could ask for.. So sometimes you need to go through the bad stuff to get the good stuff..
Try keep your self occupied, to try not to think of the things that are hurting you..
God luck darling & remember it'll all be good in time..

I have felt like that before...hang in there, it will pass but you have to keep yourself busy. You have to MAKE yourself get out of that rut by keeping busy. You need to find stuff to do when you start to feel so down. Go workout, or go to the movies (yes alone...its OK), go to a Starbucks and sit down and people watch, do anything but sit in the house on the computer or watching TV eating junk food. Get out and do something. This really worked for me and I promise after about a few days of keeping super busy you will start to feel better. Someone does love you...I do and that's why I took this time to write even though I don't know you.

Sweet Nikki, you don't really want to die, you want your pain to stop. Dying doesn't stop the pain, it stops everything. You can't feel anything when you are nothing but a dead body in the ground. The counselor you went to in the past was not a good one. Give it a try again. It really helps a lot to simply talk things out with someone. Every time you let all your feelings out the pain lessens by 10%. Try to spend time writing or talking to a friend. All you need is one person you trust. That guy wasn't worth it and doesn't even deserve you.

all i can say that there doesn't have to be anyone else out there that cares for you! and i know that sounds mean....but you are the only one that will make the choice to live. I've been in your place. I've had my heart so broken that I thought I was better off dead. Everyone in this world deserves to be happy and fall in love. that may happen more than once. and you may not believe it but i know from experience love always prevails. one thing i do know is men love confident women. Pick yourself up and treat yourself to a day of pampering and start living. It may be hard at first but love will find you again when you least expect it. If you are really depressed you should consider seeing a doctor and maybe getting on medication. It may be something serious. I hope all works out. And one thing you now know is that people do care for you or they wouldn't take the time to answer this question.

You need to find some other interest. I know this sounds stupid to you but I have been in the same position. It would be good for you to try to help others who are in need. Perhaps visit a home for the aged, volunteer at a hospital. Don't think that no one loves you. You need a psycologist or psychiatrist to prescribe something for your depression. No one is worth killing yourself over, Dont give the creep the satisfaction.

It happens to all of us. And it is always something to die over.
But to think that you will never get a boyfriend, and that no one loves you, is pretty selfish, and a lot of crap. I know your pain, from experience, but I also know it gets better. Heck, I was involved in a gun accident when I was 8. I was the one that lived. My best friend didn't. He pointed the gun at me and pulled the trigger. Then I showed him what I had seen my uncle, fresh back from nam, show my stepdad. How to pull the slide back. So I pointed it at him, and pulled the trigger. We didn't know it was loaded. And your worried about what, did you say? I forget now.....

You are loved I've had that feeling too and hanging around other friends and doing different things to avoid being reminded of what you've been through,soon you'll be over it.Move on girl life gets better.

Nikki, I want to tell you that you will be OK. Many of us have had their hearts broken and after a little while, we mend.

Keep busy with friends. Get out and meet other people. Try a church group. My grand kids have fun at their church parties and get togethers. You can't meet other people if you don't get out and make yourself available.

I will pray for you. I totally understand as I have been hurt too. I can assure you that I lived through it and even met someone else much kinder and more loving.

First of all, there are medicines that can help you. Talk to your doctor. No one is better off dead. They are just dead. You are better off alive. Trust me. Life is hard, but it is better than dead. May sound cliche' but suicide is a permanent solution to a temporary problem.
But more importantly, the problem is not the boyfriend, the problem is that you let a person be that important to you. God is what you need. People will never satisfy those types of needs. Friends, family, boyfriends will all let you down. I have been let down, I have let others down. Its just human nature, but the emptiness you are feeling is crying out for God. I hope that you find Him, and I will say a prayer for you. I do understand, as I was a suicidal teen. I grew up in a lousy home, and tried to commit suicide 2x before I was 18. I am 43 now, and I think how wonderful my life has been (lots of troubles, but overall wonderful), and the main reason is my relationship with God through His son Jesus Christ. A great line from "diary of a mad black woman" was when the mom tells the daughter that her husband (who kicked her out) was not her everything... "GOD is your everything"! It was very powerful.

OK...u are definently depressed...I can relate to what you are saying as I have felt this way in the past...Go & see a therapist again...I would imagine that they were trying to get you to look deeper into yourself in order to move on rather than make you feel it was your fault....I would imagine that you are low in confidence & low self esteem which is why when someone rejects you, you take it so personally & beat yourself up about it....you are judging yourself on how (you think) others judge you...this is not healthy.....as you get older & more comfortable with your inner self, this will get better...No, it's not easy, it takes time but at the end of the day it's about you coz at the moment u will only attract others who are down on life & it's hard for others to love you if you don't love yourself first...your family & friends do love you... and a boyfriend will come who knows when....don't worry about it so much...as for wanting to die, I know what you mean...sometimes it would be great to switch off, but don't do that....I saw my mate put a bullet in his head when i was only 15...sure makes you think when you see something like that...I'm 28 now & I got thru it along with all my other issues...whats your deal?? it's life, it's experience & it's up to you whether you want to shrink back & let it control you or to try to find what makes you happy & a better person...takes time my friend...you are currently only holding yourself back....and thats so not fair on yourself...I wish you all the best for the future...

Hmm, seems like you have gone through alot of stress and mental pain during this experience. I know what you are going through. I would suggest that you re-fresh your mind and think about the important things in life. This guy, he broke your heart right, in this case I would forget about him, he may 'have' been special, but once one breaks anothers heart, the persons 'specialness' drops to zero. There are many more guys out there, its hard to belive that you may 'never' find your perfect match, but you will 'always' find someone special, someone who cares about you, someone who you care about... All I'm saying is, dont kill yourself, dont give up on life, and keep on walking... walking down the path of life, and when you come to an intersection, choose the route you think will be best for your life, if you dont know what way to go, pick one, you have to experiment, you have to learn where that road goes.

Thats about it, if this didnt help, try something to calm the mind, like yoga, or play a musical instrument. Thank You for reading.

Before you decide to kill yourself - make the decision to buy the book "Codependant No More". It will open doors for you to a life you never imagined. Trust me on this.

http://www.amazon.com/Codependent-No-Mor...

OK, maybe the following will work: try to re-program your brain, with the intention to be more positive and see this more objectively - break-ups happen daily - you know it and I know it.

When an action occurs the brain will take that info and pass an emotion even before we can consiously think about it. You have allowed yourself to believe all these emotions without thinking about whether they are truthful and helpful.

For some reason we tend to see the ugly and weak in ourselves and how we are mistreated instead of seeing the pretty and strong features of ourselves. From there that it is easy to feel insecure about who we are and our future.

You need to look in the mirror and say outloud that you are pretty and can deal with this, etc., you need to repeat it frequently. It sounds a bit daft, but this can help you get out of the hole. Critically analyse your thoughts before you simply believing them and only deal with the emotions of them. Take responsibility for your happiness...

Good luck.

ur right. don't go to a counsellor. if they've blamed you before, they'll blame you again. (see www.cchr.org for more stuff on them).

life is always worth living another day. and another and another.

get out of your house and do SOMETHING..

and remember - something can always be done about it. no matter how bad, something can always be done to make life a bit better.

and do something for someone else. make someone else's day. buy a starbucks and give it to a random person, or take up someone else's tab.

if you like aminals, go volunteer at a shelter or something like that.

but do something for another person, make their day better.





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