Nightmare about friend that died,Any ideas?!


Question: I had a friend recently pass away in July.. I didn't find out until October, b/c her family didn't know how to get a hold of me. She died the day after her 23 birthday, from an "accidental overdose."( they found methadone along with 12 other drugs in her system) She was with her ex and "best friend" on her b-day. After her b/f saw her body. not only did she steal her purse she called her ex, and he came and got his daughter( whom he before had nothing to do with) and wouldn't give her back to the family. So obviously this is really hard. I often have dreams about her, just visiting, which I like, they are very vivid and feel real. About a month ago I had an nightmare, which I unfortunatley cannot forget. During the entire dream I am very distraught and sobbing. I ask someone for something of hers, they dig her up and cut a piece of her hair and her ear and try to give it to me, I scream no, at another part i see her feet comming up from the ground.


Answers: I had a friend recently pass away in July.. I didn't find out until October, b/c her family didn't know how to get a hold of me. She died the day after her 23 birthday, from an "accidental overdose."( they found methadone along with 12 other drugs in her system) She was with her ex and "best friend" on her b-day. After her b/f saw her body. not only did she steal her purse she called her ex, and he came and got his daughter( whom he before had nothing to do with) and wouldn't give her back to the family. So obviously this is really hard. I often have dreams about her, just visiting, which I like, they are very vivid and feel real. About a month ago I had an nightmare, which I unfortunatley cannot forget. During the entire dream I am very distraught and sobbing. I ask someone for something of hers, they dig her up and cut a piece of her hair and her ear and try to give it to me, I scream no, at another part i see her feet comming up from the ground.

I think unconsciously you have not made peace with her death and are feeling guilt or taking on unnecessary blame. Do you feel somewhat responsible for what happened? Do you say "if only I was there this wouldn't happen..."?
I would talk with an expert about this. Death is not an easy subject and everyone handles it differently. Maybe you need someone to guide you through the grieving process.
p.s. I am so sorry for your loss.

I have similar dreams of my grandmother that passed a few ago but in my dreams kept saying I'm lonely no one ever visits and so on. I went to the cemetery one day and brought flowers I sat and talked for about 20 min and I haven't have a dream in a while.

There is not much I can do to help, for I am only a young boy, but I would urge you to seek out professional help. I agree with Julie that you may not have come to terms with her death, and that you may be blaming yourself. Find a reliable psychologist or therapist, and they can help you to deal with your loss.

Einer jugendlicher Tr?umer,
~N8





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