What do you do when your situation won't let you be happy?!
Question: I'm 17, a junior in high school, and I live in a small town. I've been suffering from depression for a few years, which hasn't been treated because my parents don't believe in medicine or therapy for depression, and many of the peers I go to school with are two faced or completely ignore me, so I don't have any close friends to relate to or hang out with. I'm highly involved in school activities and such, so that's not the issue. My parents don't get along, my mom has health problems, and my younger sister is a diabetic. I work all of the time and go to school, and I'm such a nice person, but I never have anything good happen to me. I get stepped on like a doormat and even when I try to do the right thing and be good, it somehow ends up turning out all wrong. I have many goals, but I'm afraid that I won't live to see them if I can't find a healthy way to cope and get self esteem and confidence. I'm really sick of being so nice and always getting crap in return. What do I do?
Answers: I'm 17, a junior in high school, and I live in a small town. I've been suffering from depression for a few years, which hasn't been treated because my parents don't believe in medicine or therapy for depression, and many of the peers I go to school with are two faced or completely ignore me, so I don't have any close friends to relate to or hang out with. I'm highly involved in school activities and such, so that's not the issue. My parents don't get along, my mom has health problems, and my younger sister is a diabetic. I work all of the time and go to school, and I'm such a nice person, but I never have anything good happen to me. I get stepped on like a doormat and even when I try to do the right thing and be good, it somehow ends up turning out all wrong. I have many goals, but I'm afraid that I won't live to see them if I can't find a healthy way to cope and get self esteem and confidence. I'm really sick of being so nice and always getting crap in return. What do I do?
You house sounds like mine but the truth is that happiness doesn't come from what's dealt to you, it's how you choose to deal with what comes your way. It's a psychological thing like looking at the glass half empty or half full. People will always let you down one way or another and life will always have its ups and downs but only YOU can control how you choose to look at those things. Do you see them as opportunities or obstacles? Look at all the good you do have! You're involved, you have a job, you have friends and family regardless of their relationships and health. As for being a doormat...again, only you can control that. You can be assertive on your own behalf without being rude or mean. Do what's right for you too. Your future is goals are only limited by the choices you make for yourself! Go for it!!!
My suggestion would be to stop being so nice!!! Stand up for yourself in situations when people treat you like a doormat...I know the feeling. it's happened to me before but I've learned to stand up for myself so people won't do it again.
Your messages focus so much on the negatives, I can see why you don't feel optimistic. What do you like to do? What are you good at?
If you're highly involved, there has to be SOMEONE you can talk to, even if it's just superficial. You can always get online and chat with people; that's not the best solution, but at least there's someone willing to talk back.
It's a matter of doing the best you can with what you have. Don't focus on all the negatives. Look at what's good in your life. Think about how you're going to achieve your goals and go for it. Nothing is perfect all the time, but if it can be good most of the time, that's a start.
okay. im 17 too and i am a senior in highschool and i used to have severe depression and handled it in the worst way possible with out going into much detail. But i understand what you are saying. one thing i can say to do is stand up for yourself. you may hurt some people along the way but hey, its life.i know that may sound harsh but its true...apparently it seems that other people are doing the same to you and youve been the one getting hurt. Also, tell work you need some time off. Not completely but try and work everyother day. Work and school are major factors of stress when put together and plus it gives you more "you" time. Just relaxe and have fun.Thats the best advice i give you.
there is school counseling you can talk to someone there...or a teacher you trust...medication would help...if you have a chemical embalance....my daughter was depressed for years....and nobody knew how bad...but it was...she put on a happy face for everyone else....but inside she was deeply depressed...i hope you have someone to talk to ....and to talk to someone from school...or even if you like you can talk to me...my e-mail address is
monalisa402003@yahoo.com.
I'm so sorry you're unhappy. PLEASE don't harm yourself. Hang in there and soon you'll be free to get the help you need; you're nearly 18.
Please get out the yellow pages and check the mental health listings. I just bet there are places you could go right now to get the anti-depressants you need. There are suicide hotlines, too. They might have suggestions and help for you. Anti-depressants do wonders (so does doing cardio for an hour a day, but yuck). You could try St. John's Wort too; it's an anti-depressant, but you can buy it at the supermarket or drugstore without a prescription because it's just a supplement. Please, please, don't harm yourself. Please let us know what you decide to do.
You need to reevaluate your outlook on life. You are responsible for you emotional well being and happiness. Not anyone else and not you circumstances.
It's hard, but you need to stop feeling sorry for yourself. Instead of seeing the cup always half empty, you need to start seeing it as half full. Now go away and top it up. Say hello to people that you meet. Don't worry if they don't say hello back. That's their problem. Everyone has their own issues, stop looking at it as something to do with you.
I understand what you are going through.
I always do the right thing and I get nothing but misery in return.
I also get sick and tired of why I have so much bad luck while others get their way.
I sat for hours and hours until finally I found out why my life was not good to me.
Its was everyone else who are the mess up ones.
Think about it everyone else who are two faced, they are the ones that bring people like us down.
You and I are the sane people while others are insane.
What I do to not feel depressed is listen to music.
I mostly listen to rock, Evanesence, Linkin Park, Breaking Benjamin, Staind, Saliva, etc.
All these bands sing about how society is corrupt. I play them loud to escape from reality.
I don't know if you're ready to hear this, it's perhaps not so easy to hear.
Situations don't prevent your happiness.
Accepting your situation is what reveals happiness.
Your situation is only ever bad so that you can learn a deeper acceptance.
Life is a perfect teacher. Your free will is deciding when you learn the lessons.
So it's not a matter of doing. It's a matter of accepting what is.
Stop the negativity, you are capable of doing whatever you want to do, sure, you might be going through bad times, some people might seem to have more luck in life, however the ones that persist to their goals are the ones that Win and you can win despite anyone or anything and im not talking just BS, you need to stick to your goals no matter what even when you are going through the worst situations in life, thats were Man are made.