When you finish with someone???!
Question: You finish a relationship with someone for what seem like the right reasons?
But if you feel just too sad about it and cant stop crying even though you still know from a practical point that it was the best thing to do..............
How sad should you feel that you will never see someone again? And how will you deal with records and memories etc that will remind you and make you feel sad?
Yes, this is very recent and it was my own decision based on the welfare and current needs of my children... but f******g ouch, it hurts so much and I really dont quite know what to do with myself just now.....
And I have to be at work in 7 hours...... cant sleep or stop hurting ....
Answers: You finish a relationship with someone for what seem like the right reasons?
But if you feel just too sad about it and cant stop crying even though you still know from a practical point that it was the best thing to do..............
How sad should you feel that you will never see someone again? And how will you deal with records and memories etc that will remind you and make you feel sad?
Yes, this is very recent and it was my own decision based on the welfare and current needs of my children... but f******g ouch, it hurts so much and I really dont quite know what to do with myself just now.....
And I have to be at work in 7 hours...... cant sleep or stop hurting ....
You have been going through S**T for months now, and, even though you are hurting because you have ended this relationship, (and I'm presuming that we are not talking about the one with the A***HOLE soon to be ex-husband, it is probably for the best. You need to take time out and find out WHO YOU ARE again. You will ALWAYS be your boys' Mum, but find out who "BECKY" is! The self-supporting, independent Becky. Find out who you can trust, (and who you can't!). Find out the things YOU like doing; places YOU like going, clothes/make-up YOU like wearing. The time you spend at work is with adults - enjoy that time and be BECKY! Not Boys' Mum, A***HOLES' wife, ???????'s girlfriend.
If a relationship is meant to be, it will be - this one evidently was not - perhaps you went into it to soon? Every part of your life is built on memories - some are physical ones that you can look at and listen to; some are in your head. Good, bad and otherwise. As much as some are very raw and painful to start with, some are very funny, some make you very angry. But, as time goes on, they all seem to sort themselves out into some sort of balance - a bit like getting your knicker drawer in order - some you keep for best (yeh, I know, not at the moment), some are every day ones, and some get shoved to the back; dragged out when needed!
Play your records, look at your photo's - howl your eyes out if it makes you feel better. It's all part of the healing process. Like you somehow learn to live with the physical death of a loved one, you somehow learn to live with the "emotional" death of a relationship. You will hear (with all the best intentions from family and friends), the old cliches - "Life goes on", "I know how you feel", "Time is a great healer" etc., etc., NO, they don't bloody well know how you feel, they are not you! Yes, life does go on, but it's a different life. And, the time it takes to heal is different for everyone - we are human beings, not robots.
You'll have Good days, Bad days, and Bloody Awful days, and at the moment, every day probably feels like a "B.A. one", but gradually, a "Bad" one will creep in, then a "Good" one will do the same. Then one day, you will realise that things seemed to have changed themselves around, and it's the "Good" days that are there most of the time and it's the B.A. and Bad ones that just creep in once in a while. BUT IT ALL TAKES TIME! Your "hurt" at the moment, is no more or less than the "hurt" from a physical wound, and it needs to heal - let it. Crying is an emotional "plaster". It's like letting a cut "breathe" whilst still being protected!
Well, that's my opinion anyway! It's worked for me - eventually, but I had to work it out for myself. If it works for you, all well and good, if it don't; back the the drawing board!
Hang In There; YOU'RE WORTH IT, YOU'RE SPECIAL - you just have to believe it!
Take Care
Christine O'
X
just remind yourself of the reasons behind that decision and think of your kids. it will get easier with time.
It's just residual hormones left over...oxytocin, the bonding hormone. They'll go soon and you'll be fine....
Time is a great healer. If your head is telling you that you are making the right decision then it probably is, for your sake and the children's sake. Believe in the fact the pain will dissapear and become easier to cope with.
Then one day when the pain is gone and without looking for it, you will meet someone else and it starts all over again!
Good Luck
It breaks my heart when I see that others got hrough the emotional turmoil of breaking up, even when the choice is theirs. Remember this...you are in charge of your future and the welfare of your childrens, you know what is best deep down for both your children and yourself, trust your decisions, and the the heartache and pain will last a while, it will eventually subscide, giving way to a new lease of life and enjoyment from the things that matter to you in life.
Hold on in there, allow yourself time to grieve the end of the relationship, but don't disembark ship, theres an ocean out there waiting for you to sail in, and so much to offer you and your children...you will manage, keep close your friends and family and know I am wishing you the best, take care x
this is all too new at the moment and like any loss you have to let your self grieve, it will get better but it takes time im affraid
im with you totally hun, ive got the dilemma right now as i type as to whether or not i should finish with my boyfriend...various reasons and so on...but it hurts so much and i really dont know what to do! i cant trust him, but at the same time i cant be without him....ive got some serious thinking to do tonight...i cant sleep.
give it two separate weeks, the 1st be down in the dumps, the second look at what you've got and what you want, 14 days later you get that make -up on, get new hair, retail therapy spend time on loving yourself, your worth it.
sometimes in life , we fall in love ; but it is apparent that we are not friends ... these are 2 main ingredient's along with trust.... for a meaning full relationship ... go with your heart ; and allow your self to grieve... but do your self a favor , and don`t try to salvage a relationship , that you know in your heart ; will cause you continues pain..there may be memory's that you will cherish for years ...no one can take away your fond memories . best of luck !!!!
Oh my goodness! I have been where you are now....several times...and being a single mother can take a toll on relationships. But gal, you have got to stick with your choice. I'm sure you had a reason....but now you have to stand by that reason. Yep...the tears, puffy eyes, headaches, tossing and turning, can't sleep, don't want to eat.....but don't make the mistake of being cranky with the children. And believe it or not...your children are going to be worried about you when you show them that you are not the mom you were a few days ago. Pull it together gal. If the records make you cry...try not to play them. Too many mementos? Clean house...and put them away or get rid of them. The choice is yours. All of this will take time...but it will get better. Trust me. Your not alone.
i am going threw the same at the moment...people think its easy for the one who ends the relationship..its far from it...its hurts like hell to have to give someone up.its lets feel sorry for the one who has been chucked..we need support as well..the oly thing that helps is buy nt shutting out what ur feeling...and time does make things get better...
that;s life & you can't vhange that..
it's part of life to say goodbye & it is very painful sometimes but you have to remember the good tims tigether & that's enough.