Same sex Sexual Abuse?!


Question: I have been abuse by the same sex. Is it normal to be sexually confused in a way. I want to have a great relationship with a guy so bad, but I feel that my experience will make me gay in some way. (no offense) I don't want to be gay either. I am constantly comparing myself with other girls and its annoying. i am on a brith control and every since then, I have been an emotional wreck. If a girl is understanding to me or wants to just be my friend it freaks me out.I question myself like I don want to be her gf, I dont like her like that, and is she trying to hurt me. When I like a boy which takes me a long time with trust ( I was sexually harrassed and abuse by a guy that I liked) to take the relationship further. I hope that this makes sense I need help. My homophoia drives me insane. I dont want this experience to make me gay and I dont want to hate gay people. I was even holding hands with a guy recently and i got that love feeling with him and it felt sooooooooo good. What up w/ me?


Answers: I have been abuse by the same sex. Is it normal to be sexually confused in a way. I want to have a great relationship with a guy so bad, but I feel that my experience will make me gay in some way. (no offense) I don't want to be gay either. I am constantly comparing myself with other girls and its annoying. i am on a brith control and every since then, I have been an emotional wreck. If a girl is understanding to me or wants to just be my friend it freaks me out.I question myself like I don want to be her gf, I dont like her like that, and is she trying to hurt me. When I like a boy which takes me a long time with trust ( I was sexually harrassed and abuse by a guy that I liked) to take the relationship further. I hope that this makes sense I need help. My homophoia drives me insane. I dont want this experience to make me gay and I dont want to hate gay people. I was even holding hands with a guy recently and i got that love feeling with him and it felt sooooooooo good. What up w/ me?

I am so sorry this happened to you. You sound very young. I can understand why you would feel nervous around people who remind you of your abuser. Many people were abused by men, and dislike men for that reason, so there is nothing unusual about what you are feeling. To avoid slipping into homophobia, remember that most abusers are men who identify as straight. Though your abuser happened to be a woman, she was in the minority. I recommend getting to know a variety of people, and learning to trust them slowly. You don't need to put yourself in a very vulnerable position; really, there is just no need for it. If you are uncomfortable with potential for abuse, socialize in safe settings. Don't forget to concentrate on your studies, and on hobbies that interest you. Abused people have a tendency to focus too much on others - either on pleasing them, or on defending themselves against them. Also, finding a good therapist, if you can afford it, might be a good idea.

this is what up with you, you have been abused, and you need THERAPY!!!!!!!! not because there is anything wrong with YOU, but because of what you have lived through. Nobody goes through life without ever needing help sometimes dear.

nothing can make you gay, your either born gay or your not, i feel you should talk to someone qualified about your emotional swings

Your most likely not gay, nor do the emotions you feel right now indicate that your bi or gay. I would recommend you stand a little firmer against being treated the way you are right now by the female and decide to look for a stable relationship.

Rest assurred that you won't become gay by that experience. you need some therapy and you need to get some correct information about human sexuality. You had a bad experience and it is normal to question and have doubts about your sexuality afterward. Some therapy and good information will make you feel much better about yourself.

You didn't choose to be abused! You aren't gay because somebody abused you.Try not to worry about this.

If what you say is true and this act or acts were perpetrated by an adult, you need to first call the authorities and have that person investigated.
Secondly, you need to get professional help. The Answers board on Yahoo might be a release or a place to vent in frustration but your not going to get the real help or answers you truly need on here.
You need therapy to work out your issues and to realize who you are after this mess, and then be able to recover from it.

i think this means you are straight - you don't trust others easily which is understandable considering what pain you have been put through

if you have firm boundaries in what you want and don't want in relationships then folks who care about you will respect that and not violate it whether they be male or female

your comparing yourself with other females is normal too - young women often do indulge in competitiveness when in single sex company - that has little to do with being gay or not but all to do with finding their place in the 'pecking order'. also gals have a need for other gals as just friends - someone to talk to and confide in - again that isn't anything about being gay that is normal behaviour.

if you were gay you wouldn't be having felines for guys - and you would be wanting your friendships with gals to be even deeper than they are. gay people often find they invest most in relationships with the same gender even if they don't find them all attractive.

You have PTSD (post traumatic stress disorder). It happens to anyone who was sexually abused, even harassed or molested. How you express it varies. You're not homophobic, it's your way of dealing with your trauma. And your fear of trusting anybody, even not the gender that abused you, is for real. You need to see a psychotherapist. It should not take too long. If you cannot afford one, and are willing to work on this by yourself, check out books that address PTSD, self-help books. One good resource is the Oxford University Press, where they have a series called "Treatments That Work." And they have books on PTSD, not too long, not complicated. Their website is www.oup.com. If you're in the US, see the link to the US site, that's a UK address.

Well it's to much to put in an email....so I'll say for one you might want to go to rape crisis center & talk to someone to get your feelings out & basically what couseling is for is just a safe place for you to process your own stuff. I work at one in sexual assault w/kids.

What your feeling is pretty normal for the situations....we're triggered by our 5 senses...taste, smell, touch...ect. So it might not be homophobia...but a trigger for you w/other females...it can't turn you gay...& not all touch feels bad...meaning sometimes our bodies react to inappropriate touch & than that in itself causes alot of confusion.......but it would be good for you to just vent everything...& i'm sure there's more you feel......you just gotta get it out. You can call your local Sexual Assault hotline & they'll give you the nearest one or Raiin website (i think it's raain or raiin). The longer you go not getting it out the more baggage it creates, but the faster you deal with it the better it gets. Well good luck & let me know how it goes. Oh & rape crisis center are usually free!! If you can't find one...email me & I'll look it up at work.

Yea you are an emotional wreck inside. That for one is not your fault and believe it or not people that have had no sexual abuse in there past have done through the same delima. Being confused , I say is just a part of growing up because your very horny in a way . Not say you are all the time but youdon't know which way to direct them .
I know this sounds silly . Maybe looks at pictures of men and women see which gives you that warm feeling inside.
I only say this because , you said that when you were holding this guys hand you felt good right . You don't want to lead this guy on and end up going the other way.

Look long story short , Yea the abuse might be giving you trust issues. Choosing who you would like to have sex with male or female has nothing to do with your abuse.;

first A disclaimer that I'm mot a doctor... OK

It's an animalistic thing... your an independent female, so every girl is competition. Also your chemical imbalance is also troublesome as once a month is quite enough for a woman...

The reason you don't know about your sexuality is because you were abused as a independent woman... that means you were easy to corner and didn't have a friend to run to for consulting or a place to stay from "him" while you get a restraining order, your stuff, and move on.

you need a change, I think that would be in your taste of guys.

OK chic for starters, you r not gay because a woman abused you. Ask yourself and B truthful , BEFORE u were abused did you have feelings for girls who were your friend? As for comparing yourself with other girls- gay, straight, bi or otherwise us women just seem to love torturing ourselves by comparing ones self to every female we come in contact with, don't let it drive you crazy, just remember other women compare themselves to YOU and round it goes again.. chin up you sound fabulous!! Your birth control has me concerned , Chicky if its making you sooky and you feel like you are riding the emotional roller coaster, pls go to your or a Dr tell them how you feel there is soooooooooooo many pills & different methods , one has to suit u without you feeling a wreck. Guys and taking the relationship further? trust is important & good , dont rush the trust factor its gained not assumed xx. Finally u wont be gay and you definately wont hate gay people, regretfully you were abused by one bad apple, good luck with the finding of mr right, you are very normal chick, change the birth control it will make a world of difference xx





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