Would it be fair and accurate to say my life's been effectively ruined by ot!


Question: because the more i think about it, it has, it seems like everyone has made their mark.

so in theory i have every right to feel enraged and angry about it don't i ?

in all my 30 years alive on this planet ive suffered sexual abuse...bullying throughout secondary school, dropped out completley because of it....never passed any exams, never made any friends.

in the past ive been attacked mugged by street youths/ hoodlams..from white guys . black guys, asian guys.

in 1997 i had my head split open by 3 asian youths weilding a chair leg because i had a rage attack, so i suppose you could say i provoked that...that took place in public, on a high st, in broad daylight.

ive been homeless for 10 months....been in a psychiatric hospital for 19 months.

im 30 have borderline personality disorder, i have a minor criminal record, obviously a mental health record.

ive never experienced a normal chance at life...never been employed or been in study..never had a girlfriend..never made no friends


Answers: because the more i think about it, it has, it seems like everyone has made their mark.

so in theory i have every right to feel enraged and angry about it don't i ?

in all my 30 years alive on this planet ive suffered sexual abuse...bullying throughout secondary school, dropped out completley because of it....never passed any exams, never made any friends.

in the past ive been attacked mugged by street youths/ hoodlams..from white guys . black guys, asian guys.

in 1997 i had my head split open by 3 asian youths weilding a chair leg because i had a rage attack, so i suppose you could say i provoked that...that took place in public, on a high st, in broad daylight.

ive been homeless for 10 months....been in a psychiatric hospital for 19 months.

im 30 have borderline personality disorder, i have a minor criminal record, obviously a mental health record.

ive never experienced a normal chance at life...never been employed or been in study..never had a girlfriend..never made no friends

I too have had very similar life experiences like you too. I had the same thoughts too, the blame, the anger, the why me? If you move to start a new life you take yourself with you, you will still think & feel the same wherever you are. You will never be able to control what other people think, feel or do. You don't even have control over how you think & feel. What you do have control over is how you respond, how you act & behave in response to your own thoughts, feelings & bodily sensations & in response to what other people say & do to you. Resenting others only eats away at you, it doesn't affect the other person, you are only punishing yourself while they continue to live their lives without a second thought about you-don't give them that power. You can sit & sob 'Why me?' Dwell on the past, blame others, but are you going to do that forever? Where is your life headed while you continue to let other peoples actions depress you? You are letting the actions of others ruin your existence. Despite what happens to you, only you have the response-ability to choose how you behave in response to their actions & your own thoughts & feelings. You need counselling to face your past traumas, accept it, understand how your faulty belief system developed, learn to let go of resentment & manage your anger, develop your self-esteem & confidence, learn new coping strategies, assertiveness, relaxation, goal setting, realise what you want out of life, develop your values & live your life in accordance to those values. You need to become a survivor of your abuse & stop living your life as a victim. I too have suffered child sexual abuse, school teasing & ridicule, rejection, bullying, gang rape, attacks, violence, drug addiction, jail, losing my children, the anger & hate of the world & everyone in it. I have suffered from Borderline Personality Disorder at various times throughout my life, it is not a permanent condition, it can be helped with therapy, a recent diagnosis has found no more evidence of the disorder in me. I also have Bipolar, but I am responsible enough to take my medication as prescribed. I vowed to get my life back, I went into therapy & found help with Acceptance & Committement Therapy along with Trauma Counselling & a Drug Support Group SMART, I changed my life around. It took a year of therapy, but I made a committment to see it through & I'm a totally changed person, my past is in my past, I live in the present moment & behave in ways that will get me where I want to go in the future. I was so close to ending my own life at 38 just 20 months ago before I chose to fight back, now I have a brand new life. I'm currently studying for my Diploma in Counselling so I can help others also change their life. You can do it, one step at a time, one day at a time. First find a therapist who can help with your past traumas & also find a therapist who can help you with Acceptance & Committment Therapy to help you deal with your thoughts & emotions, a support group will also help. Don't be so hard on yourself, you can enjoy the rest of your life. Don't give up! Good luck!

It would seem to me that you have become a "professional victim", and have not sought help from the right people at the right time. This kind of assistance is available in all countries in the Western world, and you should have realized long ago that the approach of going it alone wasn't working for you.

You didn't specify what characteristics you had or still have that probably makes you a potential target for abuse from others, or why you have been unable or perhaps unwilling to either change those characteristics or find others with the same characteristics so you can stick together for companionship and protection. Perhaps even find a more compatible living situation for the same reasons.

From your description, you should be on medication to mediate your psychological condition - why aren't you? There is help out there - both professional and non-professional - and it's up to you to seek it out and make use of it. Blaming others for ALL your troubles is not going to solve your difficulties, nor will it help you psychologically. The "poor me" approach to life never accomplishes anything.

There are people who have borderline personality disorder, they are doing well as long as they take their medicine. People with criminal record can live normal lives as long as they obey the law. A woman who was on government assist is now a multimillionaire. You don't sit around and say how bad things are, you get up do something.

Other people may have controlled certain events in your life at certain times, but nobody can ruin your whole life but you. Nobody has that kind of control over somebody else. Remove yourself from the situations you find depressing and distasteful. Stop being a victim! Hold your head up and be proud you've come through so much hell and you're still in one piece! Be proud of your accomplishments - even the smallest ones. If you want to move to another area - do it! You said you're 30, so you can certainly make your own choices. Take some classes and find a profession you're interested in and then go for it!! Good luck to you. You'll make it!

whelp, guess you should have left out the provoked part because that's totally counter argumentative towards your arguement





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