Honestly does this make me a weak and inadequate person ?!
Question: ima bpd sufferer, im 30 years old.....my life has been absolutley awfull ....i was sexually abused...bullied throughout secondary school...suffered assaults...head injuries...time in a psychiatric hospital.....homeless etc.
i have a controlling, domineering, authotarian dad......weve not seen eye to eye alot.....theres been gaps when hes never been there for me.....plus ive felt supressed and repressed by him all my life.....have a resentment, felt like hes controlled my life in someway.
i was close to him as a kid growing up....but once into adolecence, we drifted apart and their was conflict...once my mental problems started.
ive always found it difficult to be assertive with him....assert my personality, who iam, what iam about......ive always been very subserviant, submissive...timid...frightened to express myself incase an argument would arise or i hurt his feelings.
ive felt in his shadow, controlled by him...i never stood my ground with bullies either.
Answers: ima bpd sufferer, im 30 years old.....my life has been absolutley awfull ....i was sexually abused...bullied throughout secondary school...suffered assaults...head injuries...time in a psychiatric hospital.....homeless etc.
i have a controlling, domineering, authotarian dad......weve not seen eye to eye alot.....theres been gaps when hes never been there for me.....plus ive felt supressed and repressed by him all my life.....have a resentment, felt like hes controlled my life in someway.
i was close to him as a kid growing up....but once into adolecence, we drifted apart and their was conflict...once my mental problems started.
ive always found it difficult to be assertive with him....assert my personality, who iam, what iam about......ive always been very subserviant, submissive...timid...frightened to express myself incase an argument would arise or i hurt his feelings.
ive felt in his shadow, controlled by him...i never stood my ground with bullies either.
You will have to learn to set boundaries and be more assertive. Start with people who don't hold a huge emotional charge to practice...for example, if someone cuts in front of you in line, approach them and tell them what they did was wrong, etc. It takes alot of practice to get to where you can deal with people closest to you. Your dad has been abusive towards you and you need to own that. It wasn't your fault he was not loving and accepting of you. Are you at all mad at him? You should be, and maybe a confrontation is in order. You need to fight for you so you begin to realize your worth. No, you are not a weak person. You have survived a great deal while still keeping your insight and willingness in tact. Those that are weak just perpetuate the abuse on themselves or someone else. It's the easy way out. It takes alot of courage and strength to face your life, self and grow and heal. Good luck.
No, this does not make you weak, inadequate, or a bad person. Anyone in tyour situation would be having these types of problems!
Are you working with a therapist and/or on meds? If not, get a referral to someone that has experience in dealing with abuse. I'm sorry to hear of all your troubles. You are not a bad person and you are not unworthy. Good luck!
I would never say that anyone was an inadequate person, though many are weak. The strength you need comes from within you. You seem to want to change yourself so that you feel more powerful to yourself and to others, specifically your dad. You can't make a giant leap of change all at once so you need to start small and build upon each thing as you change it. So I would say you need to start with being more assertive. It will get easier as you get used to doing it, but you must start small. You begin by taking every possible opportunity to say "no" whenever something comes your way you don't agree with. This needs to be simple issues like when you are trying to carry on with way too many things to do at once. When you are asked to do something, simply say "no, I would really like to, but right now I have a lot of other obligations and I couldn't take on one more thing. I am sorry. Maybe another time." If the issues are not so much with others but only with your dad, you could start by saying a little about how you feel with your relationship with him. Tell him that you are trying to work on it from within yourself to make it better. You don't have to act aggressive, just set a limit or starting point and increase from there as you meet success with it at that point. It will take time and you may need to get help to work through it all, but the real strength you need to corral is in your own mind. You can do whatever you truly set your mind to do. It is a very powerful thing and you just need to learn how to use it. You can do it! The power is already there, just exercise it and it will happen.