Need help???!
Question: Im going to therapy/counselling soon, either 1 to 1 or group, and I am stressing. I don't know which to chose, I was raped, and suffer from PTSD. I have ALOT of problems right now. I have alot of confidence problems. Can someone advise me, and maybe make me feel alittle less scared of it?
Answers: Im going to therapy/counselling soon, either 1 to 1 or group, and I am stressing. I don't know which to chose, I was raped, and suffer from PTSD. I have ALOT of problems right now. I have alot of confidence problems. Can someone advise me, and maybe make me feel alittle less scared of it?
Hi - yes, doing something like counselling when you've not done it before is really scary, not knowing what to expect or how it will feel. It DOES feel weird at first, and difficult, but it doesn't take long - maybe three or four sessions - before you begin to feel much more comfortable with the process. If you opt for one-to-one, the only person you have to worry about (other than yourself) is the therapist, whose training will have enabled them to hear anything you say, or bear the silence if you can't speak, or cope with you crying, without in any way being disturbed by it. They will, if they are any good at their job at all, be genuinely interested in the real you, so there is nothing whatsoever you can say or do (except, obviously, being violent) that will upset them, so there really isn't anything to be scared of except what you are already scared of - the stuff inside you.
Group work is different. Every member of the group is in exactly the same boat as you and will be suffering the same agonies - well, not the same, but their own individual version. So, once again, although I can't stop you being scared, it's worth reminding yourself that however it looks, each person will be feeling ghastly at first.
The advantage of 1 to 1 is that you can build up trust in your therapist who will get to know you deeply and this will make it easier to talk about the deep, dark, difficult stuff in ways you would never have dreamed possible. Groupwork's advantage comes from knowing you are not alone in your feelings and you can begin to understand yourself through understanding others - though at first, of course, you don't understand them all and may get quite irritated by some members or think they're weak or stupid - and then gradually you come to realise that's not how it really is.
Whichever route you go, my hunch is that the first session will not be as difficult as you fear (although that doesn't mean it won't be difficult) and may even be a relief. I can almost promise you that within four sessions you will be feeling that doing this work is tough but hugely valuable. And by the time you end, you may be very sorry to be stopping - and will have gained a huge amount. Good luck - I really hope that over time, all your difficulties begin to look very different and you learn what a wonderful human being you are.
Hi there beneath lucifers claws,
All I can say is what the Bible says "God is light, in him there is no darkness at all. Whoever lives in love lives in God and God in him... There is no fear in love. But Perfect love drives out fear, because fear has to do with punishment. The one who fears is not perfect in love...We love because he first loved us. [All of us fear something or another or at some time for none of us is perfect.]
My dear love, I am so sorry to hear of your tragedy, but God was and still is looking on you and out for you everyday and he hears your cries and screams as you were forced to do something against your will.
..." Take comfort in his love and his protecting arms. Bad things happen even to 'good' people. Unfortunately we live in [an imperfect] far from perfect world.
Let me share with you some of my experiences.
1. My former girlfriend a virgin and (a Christian woman of just 33 years was follwed it appears and mercilessly shot and eventually killed several hours later on the operating table as she barely clung to life) The Bible says that "he or she who dwells in the shelter of the Most High will rest in the shadow of the Almighty. Surely he will save you from the fowler's snare and from the deadly pestilence."
So why was she, a devoted daughter of God who placed her faith in God's inspired word and the(the Bible) and the Almighty for several years subject to this pain and end? I don't know, but God knows.
2. I myself developed severe mental illness with initial delusions and hallucination along with excessive anxiety and major depression. It has taken several years (10-15) with the help of God, my doctors, therapy and medication to eliminate all these symptoms, learn from my experience and return to a normal psychology and life with a wife and bright future. Even though I still have challenges (like anybody else) I am a much stronger individual today.
3. My favourite cousin in Florida, we used to party and be close (spent time with me while I was in College in Gainesville) was raped, in Florida and her grandmother killed in the same incident. The guy who did this was eventually caught and last I heard was in the penitentiary, I don't know). We still share love and she is now married with kids and is also supporting her father who has had great difficulty over the years getting and keeping a job, 2 marriages and some disfunctional kids, because of the break up of his 1st marriage. (He lost his right arm as a teenager, hanging it out the window and being struck by a vehicle moving in the opposite direction and told it was too long detached to be resown.
All we as loving, believing people of God can do is trust that:
1. GOD does exist. 'He'created the heavens and the earth the Bible says as well as you and me.
2. As the Bible also says "And we know that in 'all' things God works for the good of those who love him, who have been called according to his purpose." Also " what then shall we say in response to this?[God's love] If God is for us, who can be against us?
3. Do not take revenge dear friends but leave room for God's wrath, for we know him who says "Vengence is mine says the LORD; I will repay. It is a dreadful thing to fall into the hands of the living GOD"
That guy who raped you will be repaid for his wrong believe me. The living inspired word of God says that it is an imutable thing
A. "It is imposible for God to lie":
B. "There is no wisdom, no insight , no plan that can succeed against the LORD... Everyone who does wrong 'will' be repaid for that wrong." We fear because we think criminals, murderers and rapists, paedophiles and sex offenders will get away but the Bible says differently as above.
So I say all this to say in directly, that put your faith, prayers and trust in the 'Living' GOD ALMIGHTY, maker of heaven and earth, he who stitched you together in your mother's womb" the Bible says and you shall be fine, in this life and the life to come [the hereafter].
HE has a beautiful, wonderful, victorious and loving plan for your life, just as you are beautiful, strong and wonderful. This I suspect even though I've never seen or met you, your heart and testimony cry out to me and to OUR GREAT GOD he who rules the nations [the Bible says] with an iron fist. No plan of his can be thwarted. He the Bible says "determined the times and the set places where men should live. God does this so that men will reach out for him and find hime though he is not far from each one of us. For in him we live and move and have our being. As ancient poets have said We are his offspring.
'God looks down on the earth and its people seem like grasshoppers.'
The Bible also says "For God so loveds the world that he gave [up] his one and only son that whosoever believeth in him should not persh but have ever lasting life. God wants you to be happy and comforted in all your troubles, and is trying to get your attention. Not to overlook your tragedy. For the Bible (Jesus) says "with man some things are impossible, but not with God. All things are possible with GOD. So do not fear your therapy you are on the road to full and complete recovery,
I know, I myself feel like I've been thorough the valley of the shadow of death which is lucifer's claws and I would encourage you as victorious Bible persons have advised to
Try to forgive the one(s) who wrong us (pray for the desire to do so and the strength) so that we may have victorious hearts (emotions, feelings and psychology) and get on with our lives.
For in the Old days of the Bible (the Old testament) the command of God was 'Love your neighbour and hate your enemy. But (Jesus) said I tell you [a greater command of GOD: Love your enemies and pray for those who persecute ('hurt') you, that you may be sons [and daughters] of your Father in heaven. He causes 'his' Sun to rise on the evil and the good and sends [His] rain on the righteous and the wicked. So then just as he is perfect, so be perfect in all you do. A hard thing, but a goal nonetheless.
I know that you are just about to begin your therapy and have the extreme jitters because of your ordeal, but I also sense your bravery and If you put your love and trust in the Great GOD and your loving Father and friend, ask him into your life as your LORD and Saviour to save you also from 'your' sins as an imperfect human being; ask him to protect you from this day forth and forever he will, and will continue to give you courage day by day to beat this 'psychological monster' in your life.
And as Winston Churchill (former Prime Minister of England) said when asked to give a speech on all he'd learned through the battle of World War 11 and his Political and other Career, he said "Never, never, never, give up!" I've found this to be good advice so I pass it on.
PS.
I really don't know how my cousin's doing emotionally these days I need to ask her sometime but she remains in my prayers as I'm sure I come across her thoughts, whenever she says hi.
Our family has been through a lot, as many families have and most of my immediateand extended family continues to overcome because of our faith in Christ sacrificied on a tree for us and you. GOD LIVES AND BREATHES, GOD LOVES AND FEELS. I KNOW BECAUSE I KNOW GOD FOR MYSELF. He ha taken me through a whle lot and I am thankful that he has enabled me to overcome, and given me a new purpose in life to help others to know him.
So please forgive my epistle, but know that my heart for you is genuine and sincere and absolutely confident in the truth of Jesus's words. The Bible says that those who listen to the Jesus of the Bible will be saved from the claws of the evil one and from his 'power'.
Get around encouraging people and take time with your recovery, even if it's one day at a time. Find a loving support group including a church, be careful who you confide your deepest darkest secrets to and remember you've already
won by putting your faith in Christ Jesus, the Lamb of God
who takes away the sins of the world, these which make us crimson stained but he who makes us 'white as snow'. And try to be balanced and whole in all you do.
Lots of love and blessings in Him (Christ Jesus)
I am Barry H
Hope this helps to encourage you spiritually and make you a little less scared or your therapy/counselling, and a little more informed knowing countless girls and women go through this horrendous ordeal daily all over the world not just in the USA. The stats are shocking. Good luck, You will get through it, it may take time that's all and lots of effort day by day. Try to have the support also of friends and loved ones who can stick by you, and are in your life and be open to trying different strategies/therapies until you feel back to your old self and or stronger and stronger in your 'new' self. Situations like these are opportunities to remake ourselves, as painful and challenging as it may be at times. Let's face it you were raped/devastated, but not destroyed [believe me, it may feel like it, but those are feelings and can be changed]. You're also not without hope because you are still alive to tell about it, your heart is still beating and whole, and so are all your other organs I hope, maby except your brain whcih needs a lot of TLC and time to heal. Some people heal more quickly than others. Take as much time as you need and feel guilty for nothing, you did nothing wrong to deserve this sentence so you gotta do what you must and can to survive and overcome it and you will. Take as much time as you need.
yes i can . first off i am delighted to hear from you ,i was concerned that it has been so long.i applaud you for facing up to you problems as so many would just give in to the to the
injustices that you have dealt with in your young life.,you are much stronger than you realize and i know that you personal fortitude will serve you well in this situation as it has brought you to this point.
i in a similar situation turned to drugs and alcohol to attempt to erase the feelings of guilt and sin that seemed to have brought on my troubles.
you need to keep in mind that none of this is your fault and the misdeeds of others do not define you.
it is my opinion that group is more helpful to those that have personal shortcomings that have led to their difficulties ,therefore i would recommend 1 on 1 counseling for someone in your situation.
may god bless you and keep you in these hard times ahead ,and know that if i can help i will be there for you now and in the future if you need a friend to talk to .
most sincerely ,joe c. (p.s. you know how to reach me ,good luck lil sis.)