Negative to Positive?!


Question: How can you try and help someone who alway thinks of negative things to turn into positive


Answers: How can you try and help someone who alway thinks of negative things to turn into positive

From my own experience with my husband I can tell you what DOESN'T work, and that's pointing out every little negative thing they say or everything they show a negative attitude towards. That just builds up resentment and causes all sorts of grief. So I moved on and tried reacting to negative comments with a cheery alternative, trying to make a non-aggressive conversation out of it. I found this often ended up as a kind of point-scoring competition, and has now become a joke between us. Which gives us both a laugh and is a hell of a lot better than arguing. I do despair sometimes though and I wish he could be more positive, as it's my belief that positivity brings a longer life!!

not really sure bout that one. maybe you should talk to him about it.

There really is no way to change the way a person thinks.
I am a negative person its up too me to realize that I think like this and give things a chance bfore I write them off. All you can do is encourge and support this person with the things that may interest them and to try new things. Some people are the glass is half full and others are half empty.


Good Luck

Slap them across the face and tell them to stop whinging like a big baby.

make them see the good side of everything. life is so short, no point in dwelling, just show her that there is a light at the end of a tunnel and it isnt as always as bad as it seems

you cant, they need to do this themselves.

from my own experience, people who are 'glass half empty' dont want to see the positive and attract only negative into their lives....reinforcing their negative attitude. Not only that, after a while their negative energy eventualy brings others down.

If you want to help someone, I think your best option would be to suround yourself with positive and hope they can pick up on the vibe and follow you. Trying hard to get someone else to see what you see is exhausting...and your not able to help anyone think positively if your drained.

well, what are you trying to help them with ???
if they are upset and you want to turn things positive,.... you should make sure you understand what's wrong.

Try saying things like....

"What's wrong?"
"What can I do to help?"

and listen to the person.... then you can FIX the problem......whatever the problem is.

This is the way they are programmed so they have to deprogram their whole way of thinking.

You have to tell them to take a day at a time and do something each day that they wouldn't have before because they assumed a negative outcome. Start small then aim big. they need to discuss also why they have these feelings and how the past should not control the future.

Taking up some sort of new sport or exercise can help also as feeling fitter also helps our mental health.

Accept they are going to be negative or discontinue the relationship.

You can not change anyone, without them wanting to change.

The negative could be a sign of some underlying stress or stressors, and could be a way for them to release the stress without talking about it directly.

Or maybe they are just a pessimist.

Either way, it is there choice to be negative.

Allow them this choice.

most people are half empty or half full. but the way i see it is, im just happy to have the glass!!!

what you're talking about is a "cognition" - or a typical way of thinking for an individual. Some people have "negative cognitions" where everything they see, they perceive to be negative.

Best treatment would be CBT - Cognitive Behavioural Therapy.
It's been proven to be effective. Encourage your friend to do it for more than 4 months for it to last a decent length of time.

some people are also just naturally pessimistic.
Good Luck!

Some people revel in their own misery. They usually are more content being miserable than seeking joy. As always the problem will stem from their childhood. Find the cause of their naturally miserable state and you may be on the road. As a clue try this poem from Philip Larkin extracted from This Be The Verse
They f*** you up your Mum and Dad
They may not mean to but they do
They give you all the faults they had
And add some extra just for you.

Teach him about Gratitude: To be thankful for what is going on around him, and for him to be thankful that whatever negative has happened, he ought to be glad it was no worse.

I watched a show recently that claimed people could change their thinking from negative to positive on their own. I am highly skeptical about that. I have always had a negative person and when I have tried to think positively it has never resulted in anything good...

You are what you think. You feel what you want.


Why Think Positively?

All of our feelings, beliefs and knowledge are based on our internal thoughts, both conscious and subconscious. We are in control, whether we know it or not.
Aim high and do your best
We can be positive or negative, enthusiastic or dull, active or passive.

The biggest difference between people is their attitudes. For some, learning is enjoyable and exciting. For others, learning is a drudgery. For many, learning is just okay, something required on the road to a job.

"Most folks are about as happy as they
make up their minds to be."
Abraham Lincoln

Our present attitudes are habits, built from the feedback of parents, friends, society and self, that form our self-image and our world-image.

These attitudes are maintained by the inner conversations we constantly have with ourselves, both consciously and subconsciously.

The first step in changing our attitudes is to change our inner conversations.

What Should We Be Saying?

One approach is called the three C's: Commitment, Control and Challenge.

Commitment
Make a positive commitment to yourself, to learning, work, family, friends, nature, and other worthwhile causes. Praise yourself and others. Dream of success. Be enthusiastic.

Control
Keep your mind focused on important things. Set goals and priorities for what you think and do. Visualize to practice your actions. Develop a strategy for dealing with problems. Learn to relax. Enjoy successes. Be honest with yourself.

Challenge
Be courageous. Change and improve each day. Do your best and don't look back. See learning and change as opportunities. Try new things. Consider several options. Meet new people. Ask lots of questions. Keep track of your mental and physical health. Be optimistic.

Studies show that people with these characteristics are winners in good times and survivors in hard times.

Research shows that,
"... people who begin consciously to modify their inner conversations and assumptions report an almost immediate improvement in their performance. Their energy increases and things seem to go better ..."

Commitment, control and challenge help build self-esteem and promote positive thinking. Here are some other suggestions.
"People with positive outlooks understand that life is a series of events, all of which are potential opportunities for learning," says Dan Baker, Ph.D., a Tucson, Ariz., psychologist and author of What Happy People Know. "They intuitively grasp that the more profoundly painful the events, the more profound the lessons."


Adversity can build character, or what neuropsychologist Paul Pearsall, Ph.D., author of The Beethoven Factor, calls "stress-related growth" Embracing life's challenges in a positive way lets you develop the stamina to withstand crises and stress. This, in turn, enables you to be more resilient emotionally and physically. And everyone--even the most dogged pessimists--can learn new ways to manage their responses.

practice spin

Learning to be positive requires a deliberate shift in thinking. "You can't just will yourself into a different emotional state," says Barbara Fredrickson, Ph.D., associate professor of psychology at the University of Michigan. "The first step starts with changing your interpretation of events. Step back and see things from a bigger perspective."

Instead of focusing on the negative, look for the positive (or at least the neutral) in a stressful event, she says. Being temporarily unemployed, for example, could prompt you to find a more satisfying job or line of work. The end of a love affair can signal a new beginning in another part of your life. Every time you handle a challenge successfully, no matter how small it is, you gain a sense of mastery and control that will help you be a better problem-solver.

"Good feelings can banish negative emotions," says Fredrickson. In a 1998 study, Fredrickson told volunteers they would have to give a speech (the No. 1 anxiety producer among Americans). They were then shown videos of puppies and beach scenes or an abstract screen saver. The subjects' cardiovascular reactions, which at first quickly climbed, returned to normal upon viewing the videos, while those of the screen-saver group stayed elevated. The message: Focusing on something positive diverts attention from the negative, and this allows you to cope.

find your flow

Whatever your aims are, positive psychologists say that persistence is vital. It helps if your goal is important to you (whether or not it comes with some sort of payoff), and that you have confidence in your ability, despite potential obstacles, to achieve it. Then you can focus all your attention on sustaining the effort required to realize your goal. The feeling of complete absorption and intense concentration that results is called flow.

First described in the 1980s by psychologist Mihaly Csikszentmihalyi, flow is that state when your focus on a task is so strong that you lose your sense of time and place. Athletes feel it when they're "in the zone," and artists often get into a state of flow during the creative process. Flow can be derived from pleasurable pastimes, too: hiking in the woods, playing a musical instrument, doing crossword puzzles,

playing chess, in-line skating, or whipping up a gourmet meal.

Experiencing flow is a characteristic of thrivers, people who continue to grow despite having experienced emotional trauma and physical setbacks. "Their feelings of happiness despite their pain relates to their ability to concentrate and be consciously creative enough to become lost in the present joy of being alive," says Pearsall.

give unto others

Thrivers have the ability to purposely lift their own spirits, and one way they do this is by helping others. Volunteering at a pet rescue center or being a big sister to a wayward teen fosters a sense of what psychologists call uplift or elevation, which promotes well-being. "When someone is doing a really kind act," says Pearsall, "they get this warm feeling where their heart opens."

In the aftermath of 9/11, researchers found greater resilience among those who had taken positive steps to break free from their shock, anger and grief. "They volunteered their time, gave money, donated blood," says Roxane Cohen Silver, Ph.D., professor of psychology at the University of California, Irvine. "Doing something to help seemed to minimize their ongoing stress."






WHEN A PERSON THINKS a negative thought and tries to get rid of it, that person is thinking positively negatively. Daniel M. Wegner of Trinity University in San Antonio, Texas, has conducted a long string of experiments that show the futility and actual danger of trying to get rid of thoughts.

In some of the experiments, Wegner told his subjects,



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