I think I might have a mental issue, but I feel embarrassed and I'm kinda sc!


Question: Okay, first I need to say, please don't judge me. It's hard enough to say this as it is, but here I go. Okay, so I don't feel right anymore. I used to love school, but now I hate it. And whenever my friends call I make up an excuse so I don't have to talk to them. I find myself staring off a lot and I wonder if anyone would show up at my funeral or what I would write in a suicide letter. I also cut sometimes, but I barely do that. I only do a couple cuts about every 4 or 5 months. I get aggravated at things and people. It just feels that everyone thinks I'm perfect, but I am so far from it. My family is messed up, my parents hate each other and half of my family is disowned because of personal issues. At school I'm rather shy and I only speak when spoken to. I'm a straight A student, so I think that makes people think I'm even more perfect and they hate me. I want to die, but I can't kill myself. So, if I'm not going to harm myself, I don't really need to get help?


Answers: Okay, first I need to say, please don't judge me. It's hard enough to say this as it is, but here I go. Okay, so I don't feel right anymore. I used to love school, but now I hate it. And whenever my friends call I make up an excuse so I don't have to talk to them. I find myself staring off a lot and I wonder if anyone would show up at my funeral or what I would write in a suicide letter. I also cut sometimes, but I barely do that. I only do a couple cuts about every 4 or 5 months. I get aggravated at things and people. It just feels that everyone thinks I'm perfect, but I am so far from it. My family is messed up, my parents hate each other and half of my family is disowned because of personal issues. At school I'm rather shy and I only speak when spoken to. I'm a straight A student, so I think that makes people think I'm even more perfect and they hate me. I want to die, but I can't kill myself. So, if I'm not going to harm myself, I don't really need to get help?

you show signs of clinical depression through and through. take this from me, a depression-sufferer of 13 years and still going, and also a former cutter. I understand you when you say there is a difference between cutting and suicidal behavior...it really makes you feel alive, but yet, its very damaging to your self esteem and to your body. I don't think you have any kind of social anxiety, as losing interest in friends is a natural thing that occurs with depression.

i have had the best of luck with minimalizing my depression by:

going on meds (there are plenty to choose from, everyone has a different reaction to each one. however, i have had the best of luck with lexapro, and have no side effects whatsoever)

going to therapy and WANTING to change. there choosing to love myself for who i am, and for where i am in my life. Also, it's been helpful in dealing with my surroundings, such as my messed up family. i have actually had the best success with using http://www.innerbonding.com (a six step self help process that i recommend to anyone and everyone) in conjunction with seeing a regular therapist. (i prefer the existential psychodynamic method)

either way, clinical depression is not something that just gets better on its own. you need to get help if you want to be happy. sure, you're not going to kill yourself, but do you want to be happy? you deserve to be happy, even if your parents hate each other, even if your family is disowned, even if you are a straight-a student (good for you!) and everyone else hates you because of that. and trust me, once you get out of high school, alot of the depression naturally lifts, its a cruel existence in there!

depression is a disease that affects MILLIONS of americans (look at how we live! stressed to the max, bad diets, poor family lives...) and there's no reason to be ashamed about it. If your parents won't listen to you when you tell them you think you're depressed, talk to a school counselor, someone will listen :)

blessings.

You mgiht be suffreing through depression. I dont think you have a mental issue because you are "sane" enough to thnk you need help. You shouldnt be embaraased to seek help. go to your school guidence consular or see a private one if you want.

Seek help if you ever feel suicidal. I actually think you may need some meds and counciling for depression. Since you do cut, even though it's not much, you need some help. Please get help from a counselor at school or anyone you feel you can trust. A professional would be best though.

Here's what I think: you're smart, and you need to stop these thoughts and stop hurting yourself. Unfortunately, you're not in a very friendly environment, with at-home issues that you can't do anything about, and I assume some teasing at school because you do well. Let me tell you this: the teasing at school shouldn't bother you, since you are doing well and they likely are jealous or upset that they don't do as well as you. Keep up the good grades, and you'll be able to go to college, where people will be smart, friendly, and caring. Good luck getting through it all, but please remember that the future bodes well for you.

listen honey, talk to a trusted adult. you need a good counselor and possibly some medication. you are not alone here, this is an issue that can and NEEDS to be resolved. if you can't talk to your parents, there has got to be someone at school you can talk to this about. you need to realize that you haven't even lived yet. everything you are going through can be a learning experience if you allow it. years later down the road when things are better for you, you can help someone else over come this same issue. good luck.

you should see a psychologist or talk to your school counselor. you sound like you're depressed and you have a social anxiety problem. talking to someone will get you into the right direction. you have nothing to be ashamed of. there are so many people that have these problems. so get help and good luck with everything.

HOLY ****. i have the same problem at u. it sucks doesnt it?? i havent actually cut yet tho, im scared to see my own blood. so i asked about it on here, and i think i found out what we have. its called avoidnent personality disorder. i started crying because i dont wanna be like this. i always find myself thinking about what people would say at my funeral, and im consantely thinking about what i would put in my suicide letter. When you have tht disorder it says that u like to be alone and daydream a lot. I am pretty much relieved that im not the only one that has this problem. I hope we can help eachother out:

You sound SO much like I used to be. If you'd like to talk about this and get some advice. Please e-mail me

jevousaime37975@yahoo.com

I'd love to help you.
I'm here to help!!

You're in a depression if you can't talk to your parents than call your doctor and talk to them and have them talk to your parents. You can get help to feel better but you will need help and you will need therapy and maybe medication. Talk to your parents or doctor as quickly as possible. Depression can and does run in families and it sounds like your family has some issues.





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