Halp! I'm really worried...?!


Question: I am an outpatient at a psychiatric clinic. I am in therapy (one on one, two hours each friday) for being molested as a child by a sadist. The molestation happened for about 4 years and was truly horrifying in all ways you can imagine. I was also raped at the age of 19. Consequently I have PTSD (post trauma stress disorder).

As I tell these horrifying stories to my counselor, I cannot help but worry that I am affecting him negatively. This worrying hinders me to a degree in relaying my stories. I told him my concerns and he says we will do this together. But I still can't help but worry about him being affected.

Thanks so much for your advice.

Mary


Answers: I am an outpatient at a psychiatric clinic. I am in therapy (one on one, two hours each friday) for being molested as a child by a sadist. The molestation happened for about 4 years and was truly horrifying in all ways you can imagine. I was also raped at the age of 19. Consequently I have PTSD (post trauma stress disorder).

As I tell these horrifying stories to my counselor, I cannot help but worry that I am affecting him negatively. This worrying hinders me to a degree in relaying my stories. I told him my concerns and he says we will do this together. But I still can't help but worry about him being affected.

Thanks so much for your advice.

Mary

Part of counselor training is in how to empathize and understand the client's problems, but still not become engaged in them. It's tricky, but it's actually a good part of the training.

Once in a while it happens anyway, despite the training, but if that happens, that's why counselors usually go to counseling themselves, or have peer review, or whatever their particular policies are at the place you go to.

Your concerns show you're an especially good person, but don't worry. The profession has it covered.

From my own experience, as well as therapy sessions, other ways to reduce incidental stress can help with PTSD and related issues. Meditation is a good thing for a lot of folks, it helped me with some of my issues.

Your counselor has heard many many horrific stories, I assure you. They are educated to learn how to help you, and although he may become your friend, and he may have sympathy for you, he does not become attached to what has happened to you. His job is to help you through this, not become affected by it. As a therapist, he has been trained to separate his life from yours. When he goes home at night, he may be thinking of ways to help his patients, but he is not going to become bitter or negative towards life because of this.

I hope you do not think that I am being rude, but dealing with the repercussions of these traumatic situations is his job. He will not be affected negatively if he is a competent psychologist or psychiatrist.

I have a friend who is a nurse in a child's hospital, and although she has attended funerals of her patients and recognizes the sadness of the situation, she does not become very attached to her patients. It is her job to help others, and she is not negatively affected by this. It's a similar situation.

but thats his job, to listen and help, im sure hes heard stories like this before, dont worry:)

im worried about that too

Mary, that is his job....to listen to your stories and guide you into leading a more trauma-stress LESS life. He deals with this stuff each day and apparently he likes it because he is still your counselor and still listening. Don't worry too much about it.

when someone helps you, they take the risk to cause just as much damage. . .

what may seem like you're damaging him, is prolly him trying to empathise as good ashe can. it prolly saddens him, yes, but makes him feel like he has a purpose in life. that's how i am. i'm sixteen but i help a lot of people. the more people tell me, they don't know this but they make me better. they give me things i have to think about and understand. they give me images i learn to cope with and it helps me to help others in the same way. if you talk to your counselor (only if he's a truly dedicated counselor), you help him in the same way. when you help him, he can better help other people he tries to help. as a patient and prolly as a friend, you help him just as much as he helps you. talk to him and tell him everything.

Oh no, don't you worry about that! Your job is to concentrate on yourself! Your therapist is fully equiped to deal with cases such as yours. The therapist is there to help you deal with your feelings and emotions and not adopt any of them himself. They are very well trained and can seperate their personal life fully from their professional life. They have their good ol' CBT sheild up!! Any negativity will just bounce right off! hee hee!

Take care

Hello,

That is a difficult thing to tell to begin with. Its o.k. to worry that you may affect him negatively,, and in fact, it IS a part of all of it. This worrying is not outside of your problems and issues,, it is one of them. It needs to be looked at closely as well. I think that you have been hurt so much that you cant even imagine the idea of hurting someone else. You know how bad it can be to be hurt and you dont want for anyone to have
that, especialy as a result of you. This is very understandable, given what you've experienced - it is part of it!

I imagine that you have a great deal of emotions inside and it can be fearful to release them,, and sometimes for good reason. Some people lose control and do things they dont mean to. Your psychiatrist, if he is wise, also would recomend taking "small bites" at this. Go into it slowly and gently and take your time,, all the time you need.

In truth, I feel he will be affected. He has signed up for that and it is probably in his heart to do this kind of work - it is important to him to help you. He may feel your pain to a degree depending upon his sensitivity, but he will also feel the great joy of reaching out to help you. Basicaly, if your going to look at it the way you are - that it may affect him negatively, you might as well balance that out with the very real possibility that in the end it will affect him in a great way!

My heart goes out to you, you have my blessings.

It's good that you are concerned about your therapist being affected, but this IS his job, you know. I mean, that is what his profession is and I'm sure he has heard about all sorts of things that have happened to people. He wants to help you. Let him do it. Just don't become too close to him. Let him be your therapist but not your friend. As a professional I am sure that he wouldn't let that happen.... =)





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