How do I get over my control issues?!
Question: They are so weird. For instance, my boyfriend and I are both freshman at Arizona State. I don't drink and he asked me if I wanted to go to a party tonight. I told him no. I'm not sure if he is going, but if he did it would really bother me. Is this normal? How do I get over these somewhat idiotic issues?
Answers: They are so weird. For instance, my boyfriend and I are both freshman at Arizona State. I don't drink and he asked me if I wanted to go to a party tonight. I told him no. I'm not sure if he is going, but if he did it would really bother me. Is this normal? How do I get over these somewhat idiotic issues?
It's perfectly normal.
It's not control issues but simply envy or jealousy playing its part. It can also be insecurity or just plain angst.
Sure it bothers you. It would bother me too if my partner went but hey, I don't go sharpening the knives in the drawer but instead, discuss it like proper adults and lay out the guidelines or boundaries that both will not overstep.
They are trivial but necessary and surely not 'idiotic'.
At my age (mid-20s), I've only had three girlfriends before and have been single for quite some time but it doesn't really matter does it? If it does to you, then take my answer with a pinch of salt.
Hope it helped. =)
I used to be a controlling over my girlfriend too. For me it really just boiled down to a trust issue. If you can truly trust your boyfriend then you'll have no need to try to control him. Try letting him do what he wants for a little while and see if you're still bothered. If you are... well then it might be time to consider seeing someone else
Root cause for control issues is fear. Fear that bad stuff will happen drives people to try and keep an iron grip on their lives, and often the lives of those they care about.
Best way to get a handle on fear is telling the truth - we don't know what the future will bring, things aren't "always" or "never", and none of us really knows how things "should" turn out.
That all sounds easy to say. What's required are some skills many of us don't get taught, and have to go looking for as adults.
One way to get over fear and learn the skills to deal with it very quickly is the one weekend course described at http://www.moretolife.org/courses_more-t...
Ask yourself why it would bother you then you will learn more about you, by learning more about you is beneficial in understanding others. Hope this has been of some help.
I don't think its idiotic , its called jealousy , i have the same exact problem . its hard to overcome , and i still havent , my fiance just helps me deal with it better .