After reading the details.. do you think I should get help.?!
Question: I really hate my dad a lot. He has done so much wrong to me in the past that now I just hate everything thing about him. A year ago I wanted to kill him and I almost did, but than I turned my anger over to self abuse and started hitting my arms and head against walls and cutting myself. I probably wouldn't have lasted long if it wasn't for a person I met who had even worst family problems. We were both suicidal and when I found out, I decided that his life mattered more than mine and I helped him get out of his suicidal tendencies. He helped me get out of mine. I was doing fine for awhile but now that I'm back in school I'm slipping back into the old thought pattern. I'm depressed and I have a constant feeling of worthlessness and that my life will never go any where. even though I am an amazing artist. And I have been starting to twitch alot. it feels like tourettes, I can't tell. I also have really bad anger problems. My teachers are worried about me and referred me to SAP.
Answers: I really hate my dad a lot. He has done so much wrong to me in the past that now I just hate everything thing about him. A year ago I wanted to kill him and I almost did, but than I turned my anger over to self abuse and started hitting my arms and head against walls and cutting myself. I probably wouldn't have lasted long if it wasn't for a person I met who had even worst family problems. We were both suicidal and when I found out, I decided that his life mattered more than mine and I helped him get out of his suicidal tendencies. He helped me get out of mine. I was doing fine for awhile but now that I'm back in school I'm slipping back into the old thought pattern. I'm depressed and I have a constant feeling of worthlessness and that my life will never go any where. even though I am an amazing artist. And I have been starting to twitch alot. it feels like tourettes, I can't tell. I also have really bad anger problems. My teachers are worried about me and referred me to SAP.
you know what i have gone through somethin similar to your going through and i understand it sucks..
im gonna tell you somethin right now..: don't trust the schools therapists..they have done so many horrible things to me taht i hate them..they didn't even helped me they just reported the things i told them..and i hate them for that!!!
i recomed you to go to a profesional therapist..the therapist will not release anything to anyone..and the therapist will help you..i know that you don't want to go..but trust me it helped me! =]
if you don't want to go to one..and if you need someone to talk to e-mail me: nunu831@yahoo.com
i know that you don't know me..but i think that you should talk to people that have gone through on what your going through =]
so e-mail me whenever you want :D
tell 1 person you can trust, or email people you dont know
I would talk to your doctor about your problems and see about therapy. I know a shrink sounds stupid, but it really does help. Keep drawing, use it as an outlet for your feelings.
You already know that you need help. You took step 1 when you wrote this question. Now you need to allow people to help. It's too easy to think that it will never get better or that no one will understand what you're going through, but it does - and will - get better. It will likely take a lot of talking with someone you trust, and a psychiatrist may be able to help you with medications to get you through the darkest days. In the meantime, help yourself by taking care of yourself: eat healthy food, exercise (even a little) every day, and start writing in a journal, particularly about the good things, no matter how small, that happen to you every day. If you look hard enough, you'll see that they're there.
You need help. Talk to your school counselor and ask her to refer you to a psychologist or psychiatrist. The emotions you are describing are not normal and you do need to tell someone you trust. Please get help quickly before you harm yourself or someone else. Regardless of what your dad did to you in the past, you don't want to kill him. That would only be ruining your life. Don't let what he did to you ruin your life. Get yourself some healp, and get away from him if you can.
You need professional help. Please. You are worth it. You have lots to give but first you need to give to yourself. Please, let them help you. Seemingly you can not do it on your own. What is wrong with getting help from others or from modern medicine. Those people are there to helpl people like you and there are other people like you. Medicine is made for this purpose. Give yourself a good kick in the rear--and talk to these people. PLEASE Hugs to you from an old woman. (who cares)
If you want to be normal (using your words), then take the help offered. The background you described is not the sort of experience one fully overcomes on his own. The depression you have isn't the type that you simply say go away. The self-harm you fall into goes far deeper than the physical acts. Seriously, it's misplaced pride that you're allowing to get in your way. If you want normal, take the help.
You can't go on like you have been...you're right! But to stop this awful cycle, you have to get HELP as soon as possible! If you are suicidal now, have a plan and believe you may actually do it, then you need to go to the Emergency Room of your local hospital NOW! There is help for you - all kinds of help - but you have to want it and ask for it. Don't be afraid...you'll be fine. I promise! KJL
Honey, if you kill you dad YOU will be paying the price and either for the rest of your life or with your life. You need to find a way to control your anger. Either you need to be on meds. for your depression and anger, see a therapist and of course counseling. I have no clue what your father did to make you hate him so much but if you get into counseling it will help you deal with all of this in a constructive way. You say you are an amazing artist and you kept someone from killing himself? You have so much potential honey but you are blinded by your anger. Get that counseling and see what potential is.
It sounds to me that the cycle you are going through is called Bi-polar disorder. Often times situations that are really bad, can trigger or sometimes worsen the already pre-existing disorder. I know because my mother has sever bi-polar. With medication, the twitching and the depression will begin to subside. The main thing is that you need to see a health care professional as soon as possible. The best way to deal with it is by early detection... and therapy. There is a light at the end of the tunnel. Also, I am not sure how old you are, but you need to try to separate yourself as much as possible from the things that trigger you to have these issues... be it your father or dealing with relationships. Whether it be moving out or staying away as much as you can without it being weird... you need to focus on getting better and building your self-confidence again to KNOWING that you are a beautiful and talented individual. If you would like to talk further email me a misslyndseymo17@aol.com. I know a lot about what you are feeling from experience. Good luck!
God baby im so sorry,,, i really am. I know you said you dont need help from a therapist but you do!... These things arent good. Please before you hurt yourself or do something your going to regret the rest of your life, talk to someone, someone that can help you. You can have a medical problem, a chemical inbalance, or something worse! My god hon, medical science has gone along way to find out how to help people and thats what they do. But i know by what you wrote you have a trust issue. And thats i know is hard to get past but for awhile you need to let it go and trust someone to help you,, walk with you. someone who understands you and believes you!!! Tell ya what, after i had this operation i got really sick, <lack of oxgyen during the surgery> they said i was a manic depressant. but every medicine they gave me made me worse, < im not stupid i know when im not being me> So yea i got pissed at a therapist that said some pretty harsh things. I knew i wasnt crazy but i took a fit on her and i knew what she was saying to me was wrong. i wasnt depressed for god sakes i just had a baby when doctors told me it was medically impossible!!And this nut case is telling me i never wanted my baby!! i was so devastated over what she said, cuz i was So i was happy having my son and being able to carry him full term! After i almost killed her so to speak,, i got some sense and ask to see a neuroligist who worked with me 5 days a week and was on call just for me. I was a nut case! Come find out that I have TLE< tempral lobe epilesy, <aww from lack of oxgyen>and what i was having was not anixety or panic attacks, i was having seizures that made me act crazy!!! I was scared to death, If i didnt take that step to find out what was wrong with me i'd be dead right now!!! Dont be scared,, im sorry you hurt and im sorry that i cant fix it. But here i thought i was mental and im not,, i have seizures!!!
trembling, shaking, my head foggy, my whole body felt numb! to say the least im better now and have been! i stayed with that doctor for 3 years!! took test and did everything i could to fix me! IM FIXED and would love to think i said something to help fix you!!! you ever need to talk plez IM me! But plez for yourself seek help and do what your teachers want you to do, they are looking out for you!!
baby take care
Bonnie J
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