How do you win an argument with yourself?!
Question: I have this ongoing battle of wills with myself. I always win the day by absolutes. I decide and I do, no alternatives allowed that don't fit the plan, fight the fight, first and foremost. Now I want to change, not deal in absolutes. But I am so use to controlling myself, I don't know how to break the mold. How to lessen the rigid control I exercise over myself. A discipline of the mind that has outlived its purpose. How do you win an argument with yourself when you have never suffered an argument, an alternative way, to exist before?
Answers: I have this ongoing battle of wills with myself. I always win the day by absolutes. I decide and I do, no alternatives allowed that don't fit the plan, fight the fight, first and foremost. Now I want to change, not deal in absolutes. But I am so use to controlling myself, I don't know how to break the mold. How to lessen the rigid control I exercise over myself. A discipline of the mind that has outlived its purpose. How do you win an argument with yourself when you have never suffered an argument, an alternative way, to exist before?
Perhaps before you try to change the way you operate you need to think deeply about why you have been living your life this way. It sounds as though you have used your control over yourself as a way to manage stress or protect yourself from perceived threats. It's going to be hard to let go of that if you haven't thought about how you will manage life's stresses without your usual defenses. What originally motivated you to regiment your life like this? Why has this strategy now "outlived its purpose"? How are you going to introduce a bit more spontaneity into your life? Good luck- it can't have been much fun for you to live like this.
TALK TO MYSELF
Stop dreaming
ask yourself that question and tell me what you said
just live free and dont think so much
Its always good to questions your own judgments in connection with your problems, But it is easier said than done. one must get into the habit of listening to the arguments impartially as a third person who is not connected with the favorable and non favorable answers or the points in contention to make you agree that the points in favor of the thought you would want the correct answers to.