Why Am I So Rude At Work?!
Question: I'm usually a quiet and tame person outside of work.
But at work I'm very rude and kinda smart alec.
The people there say things to me and I can't tell if they are joking so I'm always on the defense. I was bullied in school if that matters. But how can I start being nice. I tried it today, but I just went back to my rudeness.
ADVICE NEEDED! =]
Answers: I'm usually a quiet and tame person outside of work.
But at work I'm very rude and kinda smart alec.
The people there say things to me and I can't tell if they are joking so I'm always on the defense. I was bullied in school if that matters. But how can I start being nice. I tried it today, but I just went back to my rudeness.
ADVICE NEEDED! =]
Perhaps you still feel bullied. But this time you have a bit more power. You have a captive audience to some degree, and possibly some expertise in whatever work you are doing. And you might be in a position where people need you.
One tiny indication that they are bullying you just like others did before and you at least subconsciously have decided not to take it. You could be using leverage that you didn't have in the past to defend yourself from what feels like bullying and could become bullying.
I think they key is to realize that bullies can be neutralized in many non confrontational ways. Walking away, killing the bully with kindness are two good ones. Bullies act the way they do becuase THEY too are afraid and unsure. With kindness they get to see they are not in a dangerous or bad situation. You can become an ally instead of an enemy.
Nothing is learned in a day. Give the new approach of being nice a chance...at least three weeks.
If that doesn't work there could be more going on.
Maybe you actually just HATE your job and are miserable and feel stuck. If so then start making an escape plan. Find out if you need more education, or experience and make a plan for finding a new vocation. This will let you feel far less trapped and less of a need to be rude in general. We have to make the best of our lives until we can make the life we want.
I have the same problem. I am pretty rude at work, too. I have to stop & think before I respond to someone. If I'm aware of it & know that I have a choice in answering it really helps. And it doesn't take a lot of time, either, like you'd think. It becomes natural IF you are aware of it.
maybe go to your GP and get advice, your halfway there already because you realize it x god bless x good luck hun x
It would be worth working on because one of these days you have a possibility of losing your job. Maybe that will be the wakeup call. Perhaps seeing someone to work on what you do and say and figure out something else that is acceptable to say.