Need help with my feelings please!!!!!!!!?!
Question: I am already seeing a psychitrist. And he has really done wonders for me. I talked about this to him. I also go back next month. But I can't stop thinking about this. And I feel ashamed That I allowed this person to do this to me. I was 13 years old. It was my first time to the gynecologist office. I was on the table waiting for him to come in. I remember him coming over to me. And telling me to relax. I remember he started fondling me down below. And told me that what was going to happen next, was the exam. That it would feel good and I would like it.
He told me it would only take a few minutes and then he would be done with me. I was so scared. I knew something was wrong and yet I couldn't even move or speak. I never told anyone this. I kept this secret for 35 years. Until
one day something triggered it all back. I feel
ashamed, like it was by fault I just laid there. I need to tell my doctor all my emotions, but I am afraid he is going to think I am stuiped. Any advice?
Answers: I am already seeing a psychitrist. And he has really done wonders for me. I talked about this to him. I also go back next month. But I can't stop thinking about this. And I feel ashamed That I allowed this person to do this to me. I was 13 years old. It was my first time to the gynecologist office. I was on the table waiting for him to come in. I remember him coming over to me. And telling me to relax. I remember he started fondling me down below. And told me that what was going to happen next, was the exam. That it would feel good and I would like it.
He told me it would only take a few minutes and then he would be done with me. I was so scared. I knew something was wrong and yet I couldn't even move or speak. I never told anyone this. I kept this secret for 35 years. Until
one day something triggered it all back. I feel
ashamed, like it was by fault I just laid there. I need to tell my doctor all my emotions, but I am afraid he is going to think I am stuiped. Any advice?
You have nothing to be ashamed of. You are a survivor and the fact that you have carried that secret with you this long and are still functional is evidence that you are much stronger then u are giving urself credit for. I am also a survivor of childhood sexual abuse. Talking to your doctor will be beneficial, but working through your emotions is deeply personal and you may feel more comfortable doing this alone. I will suggest a book that helped me get started, maybe it'll help you. It was recommended by my doctor and it is called: The Courage to Heal- A Guide for Women Survivors of Sexual Abuse by Ellen Bass.
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