How do you deal with a parent in depression?!
Question: My dad had big problems with the job hes had for almost 20 years and wound up transferring to a different branch of the company ..
He went from Vice President to just another worker.. no big bonus.. same pay. a lot more stress, work, and not very much respect from coworkers.
He hates his new job and for the past few weeks he just kept calling out sick.
Now I find out my mom had him go tot he Dr. get him anti-depressants and things like that. He got a doctors note to be out of work for a month because hes not "mentally stable"
He does nothing but sleep and sit on the couch.
He never laughs, smiles, nothing.
Its such a heartache but I just dont get it. We've always been a happy family, we live a good life, in a nice house but hes miserable.
What can I do to help ? I feel useless..
Answers: My dad had big problems with the job hes had for almost 20 years and wound up transferring to a different branch of the company ..
He went from Vice President to just another worker.. no big bonus.. same pay. a lot more stress, work, and not very much respect from coworkers.
He hates his new job and for the past few weeks he just kept calling out sick.
Now I find out my mom had him go tot he Dr. get him anti-depressants and things like that. He got a doctors note to be out of work for a month because hes not "mentally stable"
He does nothing but sleep and sit on the couch.
He never laughs, smiles, nothing.
Its such a heartache but I just dont get it. We've always been a happy family, we live a good life, in a nice house but hes miserable.
What can I do to help ? I feel useless..
there is nothing you can do but support him...i went through the same thing...had a job i loved....but another enjoyee didn't like it when i asked her to correct her mistakes so accounts would balance.....she had been there 21 years...many people quit because of her...one day i was talking with friend in parking lot...boss's wife fired me because i didn't wave at her...this is a true story...i can't work anymore because of the stress work causes me...plus other issues...just sit there...hold his hand...tell him you love him no matter what....that is what my family did for me.........he also should see a therapist so he can work this out....he's a good man...stinks to have bosses and people that have to be butt heads..tell him i'm there with him and your family
u can just try to underdtand him and try to do stuff with him
you shouldn't feel useless, its not your fault. you should take him to the movies or out to dinner with family so that he interacts with people at least.
maybe you should look in the newspaper for jobs for him. but dont let him know because he will reject it. but try finding a job where he likes to do it. maybe that will help a little.
your dad needs practical and gentle support, persuade him to go to the mental health clinic for counselling, try to keep from chemical medication if possible, the depression stems from low self esteem and he needs support in this area.
Self assertiveness training worked for me, because it shows why people act the way they do, it is actually not your dad that has the problem,it is other peoples mental quirks that have caused your dad to be the way he is.
Most probably hi is going through grief period of deression type, he should be out of his problem within six weeks to two months time as he is taking anti-depressant. But the most important thing is not to leave him alone. Talk about your happy family, you all are one and helpful to each other. If possible take him out for some time for a change, give him moral support. He has already worked 20 yrs, he is an experienced man, seen the ups and down of the life, he is definite to come out of his problem, he knows the reality of life. Love and affection of the family members will restart his resting engine to run again.
My dad has been suffering from Major Depressive Disorder since I was about 2. I've missed out on so much with my father because of his depression. I've just learned to give him space, and make him understand that I love him. I've told himI can't help him unless he tells me he's ready for the help. Just let him know that you love him, and from there you really can't do any more.
Talk to your mom and enlist her help in getting him to go for counselling, the medicine is ok but it's not going to help him deal with the job problem... it takes a certain definite set of skills to deal with a life-changing event like that. You could also talk to your school counselor and ask them for specific advice. Other than that, try to talk and listen to him daily and see if you can get him to take you out someplace.
You sound like a caring son or daughter. Depression does effect the whole family and you needs your support. Please read up on depression, get support for your mom and yourself and let your dad know that you love him and things will eventually get better with the help of medication, therapy and time. Perhaps he will need to leave this company and go to one that he can be better appreciated and happier in his work. Be patient as the medicine often takes 6 weeks or more to help.