Can anyone help with this?!
Question: My husband is suffering from depression and it's destroying our marriage. He lost his first wife 7 years ago to cancer and has never truly dealt with it. His family has been very interfering with his life and raising his 3 kids. The 2 oldest are now in their early 20's with major emotional issues. The youngest is 14 and she is doing her best to control her dad. She did not want him to get involved with anyone. When she's just with me, she tells me she loves me and we do girl things together. This makes me feel like we're making progress. Then she tells her dad and other family members she can't stand me. I don't get it. Doesn't matter what I do or say. She obviously is playing both sides of the fence. I'm thinking about divorce because I cannot take the stress anymore.
Answers: My husband is suffering from depression and it's destroying our marriage. He lost his first wife 7 years ago to cancer and has never truly dealt with it. His family has been very interfering with his life and raising his 3 kids. The 2 oldest are now in their early 20's with major emotional issues. The youngest is 14 and she is doing her best to control her dad. She did not want him to get involved with anyone. When she's just with me, she tells me she loves me and we do girl things together. This makes me feel like we're making progress. Then she tells her dad and other family members she can't stand me. I don't get it. Doesn't matter what I do or say. She obviously is playing both sides of the fence. I'm thinking about divorce because I cannot take the stress anymore.
Jane, has your husband had any help from the mental health system. If he hasn't sit him down and calming talk to him about getting some help and maybe some medication to help him with his depression. Do not go into to this with a threatening attitude. It might take several times to get him to try this out. If he won't go for help after two or so months of you calmly trying. Sit him down again for one last time. Tell him that either he gets help or you cannot stand it anymore. Tell him the why's and whyfore's. Explain everything. Do it very calmly and without pointing fingers. If he won't listen to this. Wait a few day ask him straight out what his plans are. If he rejects mental health, tell him you are getting a divorce. Do not threaten him with that unless you are really ready to proceed with the action. I hope he takes the advice of seeking medical help, but I would understand if he didn't.
I suffer from several mental disorders. It took my wife screaming and pulling me down to the VA hospital mental health clinic to get the help I needed. Now I wonder why I waited so long.
Best of luck.
Jane. if you ever ahd parents that got an divore its hurts the kids a lot, tell your husand to get help, if he'd really loved you he will. and with the whole kidd things play it. sit her down and ask her whats up, but dont try to be her mother more a long the lines of an friends, i hate when the step people in my family try to be the parents. remember you can never re-place her mother and when she gets older she'll understand. if you really loved him you'll stay with him, peolpe deal with prombles and working them out is all part of life. it just takes time, it will all fall into place.
Please dont take any decisions before you fully acess the issue. Try speaking to your husband and calm him down. I am sure you must have done it before but try doing it again.
There are lots of procedure to get out of depression and you should be able to solve this .I can think of this blog which might help your husband to get out of depression
http://trainyourmind.blogspot.com
i am not sure that quitting is the right thing to do.....maybe you should try some counseling for the three of you and if they refuse then do it for yourself......i also suggest praying.....God helps those who ask and it sounds like you are in need of a conversation with him......i have suffered from depression for over 20 years and it doesnt just go away.....i deal with it everyday of my life, sometimes i cannot even get out of bed, but one thing i can count on is when i get up on sunday mornings(which is hard) i go to church(i just started a few months ago) the weight of the world resting on my shoulders is not near as heavy as it was before.....go to church and ask God for strength and the wisdom to do what is right for you as well as your family......my dad remarried when i was 12 and i was a you know what to my step mom, who was and still is a wonderful person until i was an adult......you have a long road ahead of you but be good to her and she will appreciate it later and you will feel it.......Good Luck