How to deal with learned helplessness and self hate?!


Question: i've read a lot of stuff where numerous people have had mental disorders, committed suicide, let the trauma of their childhood, rape, incest, racism, sexism, etc. hold them down from wanting to pursue their dreams. i mean if we look in the media we just learned heath ledger is dead. britney spears, amy winehouse, and lindsay lohan aren't well. there have been so many stars. with eating disorders, drug addicts, alcoholics, with tons of stress, strain, unhappiness, all kinds of stuff. as though its tons of self hate and learned helplessness. so the point i'm trying to make is, how do you condition yourself to not be so helpless, sad, depressed, angry, etc. when its been engraved in you for so long? how do you save yourself, when you've always been told you not smart enough, pretty enough, good enough, etc.? after a while it messes with your head, and makes you crazy. your spotting at every flaw, and drinking your way, and poppin pills, to stop your mental unrest. thanks.


Answers: i've read a lot of stuff where numerous people have had mental disorders, committed suicide, let the trauma of their childhood, rape, incest, racism, sexism, etc. hold them down from wanting to pursue their dreams. i mean if we look in the media we just learned heath ledger is dead. britney spears, amy winehouse, and lindsay lohan aren't well. there have been so many stars. with eating disorders, drug addicts, alcoholics, with tons of stress, strain, unhappiness, all kinds of stuff. as though its tons of self hate and learned helplessness. so the point i'm trying to make is, how do you condition yourself to not be so helpless, sad, depressed, angry, etc. when its been engraved in you for so long? how do you save yourself, when you've always been told you not smart enough, pretty enough, good enough, etc.? after a while it messes with your head, and makes you crazy. your spotting at every flaw, and drinking your way, and poppin pills, to stop your mental unrest. thanks.

You need to be able to do it for yourself and no one else.
Look in the mirror everyday and repeat five things you like about yourself
It will feel silly at first
But you'll feel better
Go out, buy yourself a whole new wardrobe of things that you feel good whilst wearing
And go to your doctor
Materialistic things can't make you feel better
But professional help will
This is why these celebrities are taken to hospital.
This didn't make much sense
But there's a way to come back from it
Leave everything else bad behind
And become a new person for yourself.
Not to please others.

wow i didn't realize that about all the celbs. im not sure how to shake the hopelessness off and just move on, to save your self you must"save yor self" once you try to get help someone will notice and help you out...thats what happened to me...and im getting help but i dont think the hopelessness or how to get all the crewl comments out of your head? sorrieee

I learned that we ALL need support. @ least emotional support. My counselor, my psychiatrist, my friend-who is also my mentor, & my mental health case manager help keep me in tact & keep encouraging & motivating me to not give up on life.

When I was in foster care, the foster family used to tell me I'm crazy & retarded with no sense, & that I'm not gonna survive high school. I graduated with a 3.6 GPA with HONORS in the top 10% of my class. I did worse in college, because of my mental illnesses, financial stress, family issues, & Hurricane Katrina, but I STILL completed it with a 2.3 GPA & I have my BA degree in Spanish.

They told me I don't have the mentality to drive a car. I drive more carefully & more safely than most folks.

Now, they're telling me (@ the current age of 24), that I shouldn't ever have kids because I don't have the mentality to take care of my kids. But you know what? I have STRONG belief & faith that Mr. Right will come along, we get married, financially successful, & a happy, safe, & healthy family. I'm 24 with no kids. My twin was married & she has 3 kids. They say she has more sense than me. She tried to fit in with the crowd & be cool, while I was the nerdy nuisance. She didn't even walk across the stage to graduate with me. She had to go to summer school. She went into the military & didn't even last a year because of a medical discharge. She's just a stay @ home mom, raising her kids. Not all that bad.

I learned in the mental health homeless shelter in New York (Manhattan), the emphasis they put on the importance of a SUPPORT network in our Wellness class.





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