Help, i am going crazy!?!
Question: hi everyone. my mom is driving my crazy. I have a 4month old son and he is the first grandbaby. my mom and dad live 15 minutes from me . My mom comes to my house to see him while my husband is gone 3-4 times a week. She always makes comments like"Well I havent seen him in 2 days. Big freakin deal. I remind her that husbands parents do not see him but once every 3 months and they survive. Her response-well they ahve otehr grandkids-I dont. She is acting like such a baby and I like to just have some time for me and my kid once in awhile. She always wants to go to doctor visits with me but I feel that it will just encourage her to be in our everyday life. I am thinking about going to the doc to get some stress pills to deal with this.
We also have our house for sale and are moving 5 hours away when it sales. She reminds me daily how mean this is of me to do.
Answers: hi everyone. my mom is driving my crazy. I have a 4month old son and he is the first grandbaby. my mom and dad live 15 minutes from me . My mom comes to my house to see him while my husband is gone 3-4 times a week. She always makes comments like"Well I havent seen him in 2 days. Big freakin deal. I remind her that husbands parents do not see him but once every 3 months and they survive. Her response-well they ahve otehr grandkids-I dont. She is acting like such a baby and I like to just have some time for me and my kid once in awhile. She always wants to go to doctor visits with me but I feel that it will just encourage her to be in our everyday life. I am thinking about going to the doc to get some stress pills to deal with this.
We also have our house for sale and are moving 5 hours away when it sales. She reminds me daily how mean this is of me to do.
I can certainly appreciate the situation you are in.
Are your parents in any way helping you financially??
Not that this gives them anymore right over your child, but if they are not it will make setting ground rules with them much easier.
This is how I handled a similar situation in the past.
Be open and honest with your mother, but do so in an assertive yet kind way.
I find it best to write my complaints down go over each one and then decide how you will later discuss each one with you mother.
You must set boundaries!
As for getting medication to deal with the problem(I'm assuming you are wanting some type of benzodiazpine, xanax, valium, ect...., I would only use these as a last resort. They are highly addictive and you will build a tolerance to their effects rather quickly.
Tell her all of this. Remind her that you need your space and her constantly popping in uninvited is stressing you far too much. I'm sure soon enough she will chill out, but try and talk to her about it.
no. don't get pills to cover the problem. you have to deal with it otherwise she will always be like this. I've heard of this problem so many times before, parents 'interferring' when their child has a child of their own. You need to tell her that you find it tiring to have her round all the time. You need to tell her it's your baby, not hers.
She is excited, but she took it toooo far. His parents im sure would want to see the kid more, but they RESPECT it....
these are the first months and you'll be getting alot from your kid..irreplaceable memories..... and it should be between u and ur hubby...tell her that while you understand she is excited, she needs to calm down cuz this is YOUR son....and YOU want this quality time to YOURSELF...take her once in a while, but that is it....no more.....try to include her without over doing it before you leave....and you can move to where you want...its your choice..and it's not mean
your ma just wants 2 be apart of your life n her grandchild, my ma is the same way but she doesnt have a man around so i understand why she gets loneley but i still love her n i set some rules for time alone...dont look at it as a bad thing when u need a baby sitter shell be there or just 2 give u a break:) i could never move far from my ma it would break her heart too. u dont know what u got till its gone.
No don't do that to your mom. She's your mom no matter what, and what she's doing is a prove that she loves you and her grandson. She might be doing something wrong, but why don't you just ask her to go for a walk or something and have a casual talk about what you want. Just think if your son do the same thing when he's got married and have kids and you just feel bored and want to be around with them.
Remind her that he is your son, and this is your life. Ask her to please only come over if you invite her. Tell her that you need to move for your family's sake and that you are too stressed with her trying to be the other mom rather than grandma. Tell her to buy or bake some cookies like a normal grandma and wait for her kid and her grandkid to visit her.
stress pills?definitely not the answer.explain to her ur situation n tell her nicely how u feel.Begin the conversation with sayin something like"i love you mom,but...",if that doesnt work,yeah u should move.Bt just keep in mind 3 things:
-shes ur mom
-shes old
-her intentions are good
=)
sounds like your mother is being very selfish.. need to tell her that she is pushing you to the point of needing anxiety medication... let her know what a stress she is putting on your family, and your happiness... ask her if she would be happier knowing that you are happy, or she would be happier having what she wants... as a parent, she needs to do what is right for you, her child... get a backbone and talk to her, let her know you appreciate her taking care of you as you were growing up, and let her know you appreciate her concern, but you are know an adult, and need to be in control of your own life... if she keeps pushing, this will most likely cause alot of stress on your marriage too, so, talk to her about it before things go completely out of control... a new child brings with it alot of changes in your family, the last thing you need is another complication.... be careful of medication, you have a baby to take care of, and some meds make a person a little too complacent....talk to her and be honest... you should not feel guilty, your new family comes first...
tell her that she can babysit once a week, then you can get some sleep or have time with your husband while she gets what she wants too.