I am sorry but I can't get this out of my head. I dont even want to ask for !
Question: I have posted several questions before on yahoo answers. This is something that is eating me alive. Please don't post any answers if they are negative. I am not Schizophrenic. I was on the news about 2 years ago for masturbating at work. I was on all types of drugs. I don't know why I went to work that day. The thing is I did it outside of the bathroom instead of in. It was on every channel for almost the whole day. I lost all of my friends and my family doesn't talk to me anymore. The only people that talk to me is my mother and my uncle. My mother doesn't want anything to do with me though. am at my uncles right now. I don't blame my friends for not talking to me anymore because what I did was out of the ordinary and would be funny to anyone. I was so stupid. I didn't know my family would stop talking to me though.I am not used to this at all. I used to have it all. I knew how to dress, I had girls, I was good at all sports and I had so many friends.
Answers: I have posted several questions before on yahoo answers. This is something that is eating me alive. Please don't post any answers if they are negative. I am not Schizophrenic. I was on the news about 2 years ago for masturbating at work. I was on all types of drugs. I don't know why I went to work that day. The thing is I did it outside of the bathroom instead of in. It was on every channel for almost the whole day. I lost all of my friends and my family doesn't talk to me anymore. The only people that talk to me is my mother and my uncle. My mother doesn't want anything to do with me though. am at my uncles right now. I don't blame my friends for not talking to me anymore because what I did was out of the ordinary and would be funny to anyone. I was so stupid. I didn't know my family would stop talking to me though.I am not used to this at all. I used to have it all. I knew how to dress, I had girls, I was good at all sports and I had so many friends.
Wow, you're kind of living my worst nightmare. The part about family turning their backs on you. Honestly, I'm not sure if I should believe you or not. I had a nightmare situation once and mine actually worked out better in the end than I ever dreamed that it would. Though not perfect earned me the nickname 'crazy' and I have to be O.K. with that. I did lose friends over it but kinda thought weeeellll, maybe I'll find better friends. So here's the deal....
We, any one of us, could die tomorrow
if you knew you were going to
is there any way you would live TODAY differently?
Try to implement your thoughts on your life and how you would LIVE it in ANY way you can because it sounds to me like you have given up on your life.
So you skrewed up!
So what?
Your people abandoned you so : that says MORE about them than it DOES about you!
You're not IN JAIL!!!! So obviously the Government thinks you're o.k. enough to be out walking the streets.
Don't walk under the cloud anymore because why?
Who the Hell is it going to benefit if you do?
them?
you?
society?
Nope, and I promise you they don't give a crap that this is eating you up! Probably haven't even thought about any of it for months and months.
So why should you keep paying for something you can't UNDO?
Time fades even this stuff too, though right now it seems like it never will. I have had lots of stupid things that i've done and the more time goes by the less it becomes important (unless you have to go to jail for it---right?)
find a way to dress
find a way to find places to do sports
(You're STILL good at them, just because you messed up doesn't mean you're any less talented than before!)
Make new (better) friends and let them know the deal pretty early on (lots of Ex-Cons have lots of friends who go into the deal with eyes wide open that their new friend is an ex-con: I'm ONE of those friends!!!) And the friends who make friends with the people who aren't perfect are COOL AS HELL and tough as NAILS! and aren't easily persuaded against you
Having a Brother in the News Business I can tell you it's true
If it bleeds it leads!
Let me ask this?
Have you been bombarded with requests for follow up stories?
probably not because, my friend, fame and INFAMY are both fleeting and you are OLD news (thank the Lord)
Read: Who Moved My Cheese? (and do it!-it helped me a lot with my embarassing situation)
And realize that NO-ONE is Garbage!
So stop beating yourself up and acting as if you have nothing to offer!
I have had a member of my fam. turn their back before and it royally sucks, my heart goes out to you, in fact I've got that sick feeling like it's happening to me again, just sorry about that.
Live your life and forget about the past, if others are not big enough to do that with you, than it is truly their problem!, 2 years is a long time to beat yourself up, be done with that. Would you expect someone to still feel bad about a dumb act 40 years later (one they didn't even go to jail for right?)--no?
how about 20 years---still too long?
10?--that's from 20 yrs old to 30....seems like a big waste because no-one else cares that you care by then
2 might just be pleeennntttyyyyy long enough.
carry on dude, leave the backpack on the ground
...
.added as afterthought;..
Oh yeah! and I'm in Wa state and I didn't hear about it either,
seriously, that's an awful lot of people who have let you know that you did NOT make it into their news stations.....
even better?
Short TERM memory lasts only a few seconds:
that's why you have to keep repeating the delivery number for the pizza place over and over and over
and if someone then asks you a question YOU INSTANTLY forget it!!!
Quick!:
What did you have for dinner EXACTLY one week ago?
Can't remember?
Neither will the world remember the (2 yr old) story about you.
good luck
after reading your other additional material:
What's wrong with avoiding New York, avoiding the family who know?.....Maybe the big citys aren't for you
Also:
I felt like people were talking about me everywhere too, my situation happened about 2 years ago as well, though
somewhat easier to deal with, Would you believe?
I finally started asking questions and found out that everyone I thought was talking about me?
DID NOT EVEN KNOW WHAT HAD HAPPENED AT ALL!
People were shocked that I just stopped showing up everywhere that i used to. I stopped showing up because I thought they'd be ashamed of me. Just last week I told one person that I cared about that I didn't want to face what he would think of me and he let me know he would NOT judge me. It also helps that I'm a Christian (tho I know this isn't a religion question, because Jesus is a friend to all the outcasts...I knew He never Bailed on me!.) thing is I really wasn't an outcast at all
I assumed people knew more about me than I thought they did because I thought it was such a 'huge deal'
but it wasn't
Like the guy below me said they all have masturbated before, we all have, Do not give up
Please do not give up!
stick with those people who hung in there with you
that's what love is ALL about.
well your family are not very supportive. you should sit down with them and tell them this and have a long talk with them.
c'est la vie.
if ur family n friends r gonna stop talking 2 u then thats their loss....its really not a big deal about wut u did.
why tha fu*k would they put it on tha news?? sumtimes u just get horny lOl.....its ok its not that bad.
Go to the people that you miss the most and let them know that it was a mistake for which you are very sorry. Tell them how you've straightened your life up since the incident. Give examples, such as a good work record since the incident, church involvement, etc.
Give them a little time to think about how you've changed. Hopefully they'll forgive you.
Look, get a grip and pull yourself together. You will get no sympathy from me. You did what you did, so own up to It and except It. Don't live In the past because you cant change it. If you don't like the look of your future, then change It and do something about It. If not??......Then the life you have now, will be the life you have always.
Some people need to hear the truth and not what they want to hear to make them feel better.
Edit: I wasn't implying that you were a bad person at all. I have made bad decisions In life also, and lost a son. I know how hard It Is. But at the end of the day, It was only me who picked myself up and made changes. If I hadn't, I probably would not be here now.
I was the only one who could do it for myself. Life goes on and It can be a happy one. But It's obvious you need to change the way you are thinking and get out there and live again the way you want to.
your parents should love you no matter what! even if you killed someone. i know i would love my child or my mother no matter what they did! what you did, was weird and rare. its not like you hurt anybody. but one question?, why did you do it?
if you are being serious. then here is my serious answer; i would move to another state. start over.dont mention it to anyone, chalk it up and something u did under the influence and you had an addiction and try to move on and upward. you sound young and you can recover. if u were 30 years olddoing this stunt then i would say get help. but just start over some where else. your friends may cast doubt on your mentality from here on out. and if its gone on long then i would just start over and make new friends somewhere wlse. its not as hard as it sounds.
Sad, sad, sad. It sounds to me as if you wanted attention. Okay, maybe not *all* of the attention you got, but in some other form.
If it makes you feel any better, I'm from Connecticut and *I* didn't hear of you. Sometimes people, myself included, make MAJOR MISTAKES in their life they wish they could take back. You feel as if you have a target on your back and like people can see through you, know what you're thinking, etc. It's probably just paranoia associated with some form of guilt.
That said, if they have a mental health clinic in your area that goes according to your income and will respect you as a person, in spite of your actions, then go there and make an appointment to speak with someone.
It sounds to me as if you have two issues on your mind: What you did and how to reach out to the people it affected.
Good luck!
Sometimes a life changing event happens. Most people will tell you to get over and stop living in the past but they haven't been through anything. Obviously this must have been morbidly embarrassing for you. In addition to losing your friends and family, you were humiliated publicly. What you need to do, and what I had to do in my life, was start again. You may have lost your friends and family but if they weren't there in the past, they don't deserve your future. Also, time heals things and if you want your family to be in your life, you can make it happen eventually. But you need to focus on the future, and throw the past away. Soon you'll look at it and be like, that wasn't me. Try new things. Try new clothes, try new hobbies and try hard not to stress about what brought you down. Good luck.
I am so sorry your family isn't there for you. Parents are supposed to be there for their children. Even if they don't agree with what they did, they are supposed to still love them. Tell them how you feel. Tell them you made a horrible mistake, but it is in the past, and you need their help getting over it. If they don't respond, then you have to realize that maybe they are embarassed too, and are having a hard time getting over it. You can't be responsible for their actions or their feelings. I would highly encourage you to get some psychiatric help, not because what you did was wrong (you made a stupid mistake), but just to deal with your feeling. Have you considered moving to someplace where nobody knows you? Even changing your name? I know it sounds drastic, but a young boy we know (18yrs) ran over a child in a drunken stupor, did his time in prison and got help, but nobody in the community would ever talk to him. He ended up killing him self because no one would care about him, not even his mom. Maybe you need a fresh start. And please remember, just because you did an embarassing, stupid thing does not mean that your are not a human being who deserves to be loved and cared for. Please take care of yourself.
Your family and friends should be more understanding. Sounds like you were, and are, going thru a rough time. However...I don't think this news made nationwide coverage...I didn't know about it...so maybe you should move farther..like Florida or out west, and start a new life there without telling anyone about past problems you had in NYC.
Would you like to get married to a beautiful English girl in Florida, she's 21 and looking for a husband, I have one in mind. Maybe that would help you.
of those who are left who will talk to you, whom do you trust?
can you say what you said here, to that person?
can you call a suicide support line, and say the same thing?
can you move, start life somewhere else this TV thing did not show?
is there a free counseling service in your town where you can get advice, help, suggestions? it was definitely a dumb thing to do, yet it should never be allowed to ruin your life...and sad as it is, those who dumped you werent really your pals, a real friend does not dump another friend in time of real need and support. you screwed up, but they are shallow and petty inside. good luck.
firstly i live in the uk and have heard of people masturbing at work and getting caught!! to end up on t.v is something which would never happen over here u may end up in the papers but that would be it. we had some guy who got caught stuffing a goat and he ended up on t.v just because really a train pulled up at a red light and all the passengers saw him shagging the goat and called the police. he only was on the t.v cause he went to court. u say that u have lost everything?? i stole of my empolyers which i would say it more serious than wanking off at work, i ended up in prison and dont talk to my family or see any of my friends. But yeh its been difficult dont get me wrong people judge me cause of my convictions, but thats it THEY JUDGE ME ON MY CONVICTIONS not me as a person. i stole off my empolyers twice and ended up in jail. that was 5 years ago. I now work in mental health which people said i would never beable to work in due to the nature of my convictions. What my advice to u would be to move out of the u.s.a and maybe to the u.k noone will have heard of you and u can make a new start. I hope things turn out good for you.
Ok 1st off. i never heard of this but i am very sorry i live in utah and it was never on the news here. so if you really want to get away you could move here. but your family doing that is wrong the should have understood you where going threw a hard time and blood is thicker then water they should have wanted to help not forget you thats not a real family and you can take this or leave it . i really dont think what you did was that bad because you where not in your right mind.Theres war and killers but ppl care more about something that small EVERYONE in the world has done some masturbating in theyre life . its only human . dont kill your self. if anything else tell yourself its only leting them win. hope things get better for you .
Hey man, its not really that big of a deal (what you did). I masturbate all the time and you can bet your @ss that everyone who is laughing and pointing at you do it or have done it too. Its just that you you got caught in public and they do it secretly in private. For the people who have disowned you, you will just have to forget about them for now, as you need to understand that most people dont feel comfortable with masturbation.
In future, if someone laughs or points at you, just say "so what? I masturbated once, big deal, people do it all the time and i bet you do it or have done it too." Its not as if you're a child molester or anything. All i can say is Good Luck man and i hope it all works out for you. :)
It might also be a good idea to go and see a counselor or doctor.
Maybe it would be good if you get a new start, like moving countries.
My goodness I've never heard of such a reaction over something so trivial, If you'd murdered someone then that would be an understandable reaction but that is just so ridiculous. Your far better off without them all if that's their response to someone who needed them then more than ever. Though of course their your family and you'll want them back. But for now you need to do something for yourself, see a therapist or some sort. They'll help you to clear your head so you can start a new life no matter where it is. And perhaps one day your family will wake up and see they've been complete idiots. But in the meantime you need to help you and stop blaming yourself.