Do you think it's reasonable to consider me delusional & paranoid in this si!
Question: I've been abused ALL my life. Birth mom neglected us, & we ended up in foster care. People would bully me, steal from me, threaten me, beat on me...any type of abuse you can name.
How can they say, "I don't believe your brother choked you. It's all in your head. You think people are out to get you.", when they say I'm vulnerable & easy target, & that I put myself in abusive situations? Isn't that a contradiction? & how can I put myself in an abusive situation if some of them are inevitable? I can't avoid a classmate in school who beats me up for my lunch money (speaking as if I were still in high school).
Many people, ESPECIALLY my family, beat me up & take my money, & when I call the cops, they lie to the cops saying I'm out of my head & psychotic, just to get out of trouble. & then when the cops leave, they brag & tease me, saying, "Ah ha! That's why I whipped yo' @$$!"
My DOCTOR doesn't even consider me delusional or paranoid! & I know the abuse I receive is REAL.
Answers: I've been abused ALL my life. Birth mom neglected us, & we ended up in foster care. People would bully me, steal from me, threaten me, beat on me...any type of abuse you can name.
How can they say, "I don't believe your brother choked you. It's all in your head. You think people are out to get you.", when they say I'm vulnerable & easy target, & that I put myself in abusive situations? Isn't that a contradiction? & how can I put myself in an abusive situation if some of them are inevitable? I can't avoid a classmate in school who beats me up for my lunch money (speaking as if I were still in high school).
Many people, ESPECIALLY my family, beat me up & take my money, & when I call the cops, they lie to the cops saying I'm out of my head & psychotic, just to get out of trouble. & then when the cops leave, they brag & tease me, saying, "Ah ha! That's why I whipped yo' @$$!"
My DOCTOR doesn't even consider me delusional or paranoid! & I know the abuse I receive is REAL.
Yes it is a total contridiction. I do feel for you. I have been in similar situations when i was at school and was abused as a child mentally, physically and emotionally. My mum was never a good mum and then i got abused by her new husbands brother, so did my sister. we never said anything because it was kinds pointless and didnt think anyone would believe us. adults always tend to take other adults sides. I was bullied in school for all sorts and just learned to keep my mouth shut eventually bcoz no one would listen or believe me. I moved on and got my own place at 16. things got easier, i met my bf and have 2 kids now but i never forget everything and have only just gone to doctors about feeling depressed all the time because of my past. i do think its unfair for them to consider you to be paranoid or delusional as even your doctor has agreed your not. Bullys try and make you believe that its your fault or your imagining it all. dont fall for it. it is them and its by far from your fault, as you said certain circumstances are unavoidable.
that really sucks
Oh honey....stop being with these people who do not know you at all. I understand exactly how you feel. My life was "stained" unfortunately, by people like you have.
Moving on, is the toughest part but it is not impossible. You need to close this horrible "chapter" of your life and put those negative thoughts of the past in a drawer.
As hard as it is or might sound, no one but you, will truly understand what you've been through. Believe in yourself, move on and consider this: People can be very cruel when making their ignorant judgment. Believe in yourself and find the strenght within you. I wish you good luck and all the best.
No, I would not call you delusional or paranoid. That's terrible. My god, I'm sorry that something like that has happened to you. My sister has physically assaulted me and denied it. They really try to make you feel like it's all in your head. It's worse when your own parents don't believe you.
I hope you can escape that awful environment. Go to a shelter perhaps? There has to be someone out there that can help you.
your attracting all of it. nothing comes into your experience without you inviting it by thought. study abraham-hicks to change all this.
You're not delusional nor paranoid, you're an abuse victim. You absolutely must MUST get out of that situation. Avail yourself of whatever battered persons programs are in your area--and don't say there are none. Trust me, your city, state, or county has a hotline that can direct you to local resources to get you out of this situation. Look for a battered women's hotline in your area--even if you aren't a woman. The gender may vary, but abuse is abuse is abuse, and they will help you and listen (without judgment, dismissal, or condemnation).
Please get help. You may be unconsciously putting yourself in this situation--i.e. by not getting away from your tormentors--but you saying that some of them are "inevitable" is classic battered woman syndrome. Whose fault it is that you're being abused is wholly irrelevant. It does not matter if maybe you DID put yourself into that situation, in NO situation is there ever justification for someone being beaten and robbed.
.....Wow, you have the life I have. You're fine with what you think. I myself have sort of locked myself up inside, because I'm afraid of more pain. They keep saying I shouldn't do this, as not allll people are bad, but growing up in a situation like that, can they blame us?
I'm scared of more happening. But well, you aren't delusional, the pain's real, right?
I just wish others would realize the situation, and that well yeah, who'd make ALL THAT UP? >_>
Having been from a similar background I can relate to this question. I have noticed that most people's opinions and thoughts about certain issues are context specific. Meaning....in thecontext of trying to convince you of something they may bring up the its all in your head schpeel. In the context of sentimentality they play the vulnerability/easy target card. There are an infinity of contexts these 2 are just very vague examples.
Most people I have encountered woth traumatic backgrounds seem to be the sanest people. They have come face to face with evil. They know it exists. No you are not delusional, people are just stupid and most of them should just shut up because they really dont know what they are talking about. If you know what you are talking about is real then who gives a flying crap what anyone else thinks? When you dwell on the opinions of others you are essentially making their problems your problem. If someone says something that you dont agree with, then respect their right as an individual to have an opinion, and then respect your right as an individual to disagree and carry on.
As a foster child it is not unknown to feel alienated and left out. My second son was adopted: he had 8 placements before he was FIVE and it was very hard to get him to realize we weren't going to throw him back. The abuse he suffered was indescribable: his parents treated him like a toy - when they were done 'playing' they threw him down. (they were both schizophrenics). He was removed at age 18mos with bruises all over and he weighed only 14 lbs.
His next foster home he was with 6 other kids- and the foster mother was almost 80 . She dropped dead at the table and the kids were taken back to the center that night. At another home he ws sexually abused.
He got into a hellava lot of trouble for years..cutting himself, screaming for hours on end, attempting suicide 5x etc. It wasn't until HE decided he was a GOOD person and that HE deserved to be good to HIMSELF, that he was going to behave as a GOOD person - no more acting out, no more destruction, no more hurting himself or anyone else, that his life turned around. Turned around 100%.
He found Wicca -(white witchcraft) which said there was only one rule - DO AS YOU WILL SO LONG AS YOU DO NO HARM. That's where it started. He started doing kind things and EVERYONE noticed. Then, when others were mistreating him, he was believed and the others were punished. (We are Christians, but we know not all are called to Jesus, and if this was the way God had sent him to find peace, we supported him in his search for it)
...so this is very probably both YOUR fault and THEIR fault ...c'mon..be honest..you certainly aren't totally innocent in all this. You can't say you don't [didn't] mouth off to your foster parents, teachers, etc and that you obey[ed] every rule they set down. This DOESN'T mean you are a bad person! You may have had a rotten start, but now it is up to YOU to change your life FOR THE BETTER.
YOU teach people how to treat you. If you are sullen, mouthy, angry and mistrusting, then that's how people will treat you.
If you are kind, smiling (even if it kills you inside for a while to do it) then people will invariably treat you kindly, too.
I used to be treated terribly, too. I was always told to shut up stop singing, etc. I used to believe the other people, but then one day I was stopped by a good man who was a voice teacher who told me I was gifted - not awful! I got some good counseling and then I met a terrific man who treats me like gold (and I treat him as good as I can, too. and I treat MYSELF as good as I can.) We don't allow any violence or anger to poison our lives.
I use my voice to share with people as much beautiful music as I can. I have been on TV twice to record concerts as a soloist, and have cut 4 cds- but none of it could have happened if I hadn't started with MY not believing bad things about me and only surrounding myself with positive people.
It started when I began treating myself as a lady, and acting as a lady. It didn't take long for me to find my life turning around for the better. I got a better job, I felt better about everything. and that's what I had to teach my adopted son - that no matter how bad his life had started out, it was up to him to make it better.
It is extremely hard not to answer back with a smart a*s answer - but if you want to prove them wrong, you have to start by proving to your teachers, your friends and your social worker that you are truly trying to be cooperative and positive. Like when the cops came...were you angry, yelling, calling them names etc? Or were you covering your face, answering them politely and being as grown up as you could...so the police could believe it WASN'T you acting out?
When you see the doctor, are you straightforward and factual, or are you a drama queen? You must keep a diary and write down the dates, times and places things happen...who what when where and why. Be honest about your part in the event... if you tell the doctor 'I was told to do the dishes and I told them to 'XXR##@T@' and then my foster brother started hitting me right here, and you have your diary/journal it will carry a lot more weight with him/her.
Remind the doctor/nurse/teacher they have a legal duty to report abuses to the authorities..,.,but, remember, if your behavior is usually acting like an obstinate disobedient and rude person, it is unlikely anyone will believe you. I'm sorry if that isn't what you want to hear, but it is the truth.
If you calm down, and make a plan to do your best to behave as a lady, then, anything they do evil will stand out like a neon light.
Now, as to proving bad things are happening to you, I don't know how old you are, but if, in fact, you are suffering abuse at home, why not spend 15.00 and buy a voice activated tape recorder? This is small (about 4x6") and can be hidden. As soon as anyone starts speaking it records the event.
For more money you can get a 'nannycam' and have it transmitted to a location that the family can't find - such as directly to a website or a hidden recorder.
As far as putting yourself into abusive situations, people DO exactly that. They walk down dangerous streets, they dare people to do things to them...do you date people who hit you? or go out with boys who want you only for sex.
If so, WHY? YOU are better than that! God never made a person as garbage!!! He made each of us His children. If you only keep telling yourself that even if you don't have good earthly parents, you surely have a WONDERFUL Father and Brother in heaven!
So, a lot of your unhappiness can be prevented.
Example: If someone beats you up for your $$ every day - why not hide your $$ in your shoe and then they can't find it? Or stop taking $$ w/ you. Period. If a person is beating you, find a way to AVOID them...hide in your room, at a library, or other safe haven.
If you are dating or hanging out with people who mistreat you then make a promise to yourself to STOP dating them. Cut them off. Start by meeting better people. YOU are worth it! Tell yourself YOU don't need bad people around you, and mean it!
Try a local church- many of them have great youth groups where you can meet and hang out with NICE people. And it doesn't matter if you have money or not...they won't care. Just walk into any local church..talk to the pastor or the youth minister...they will welcome you and help you to join their congregation/temple/mosque.
Remember- bad things happen to everyone. You don't have the exclusive rights to feel sorry for yourself for having a bad start to life. Stopping the abuse starts with YOU not abusing YOURSELF. It will be very hard at first to be kind to yourself and act like a perfect lady, but, If you do this, then you will surely find thing improving.
ps. my son changed so much he got a full scholarship to college, and has made some truly good friends - unlike the mean boys he used to hang with who made him run drugs, steal, etc. Once he decided he wasn't a bad person and that he was worth having good things happen to him, and that HE wasn't going to do bad things anymore, no more acting out etc., his life turned around.
and so can yours.
Good luck, my precious dear.
no you should talk someone about this and get help because it only can get worse and when you have kids of your own how you were abused it might come out at them talk to someone and maybe they can help you good luck
Wow you are not delusional- your so called family is.Many people have had to walk away from their families of origin and replace their positions with others so to speak.A lady at Church can be a Sister in Christ,God is your Father,and some best friend guys can be like Brothers,etc. At some point you may/may not want contact with your family however;right now they are toxic to you like poison.Do you have anywhere Else to go?any other support system? good luck
you need to tell people get off your back speak up