How can i find help for myself?!
Question: my boyfriends 9 yr old has abused me physically and emotionaly and verbally over the last 3 years (the length of the relationship). after all this time, and a severe incident recently, i have come to the conclusion i am very.....i dont know how to describe it except mentally messed up.
while playing in my daughters room with her, HIS daughter said, out of the blue, "I HATE LIVING WITH YOU. I WAS FIRST IN DADDYS LIFE NOT U AND MELONIE. YOU WANT TO BE FIRST AND U CAN'T BE. DADDY LOVES ME MORE." my response? "I KNOW U CAM EFIRST, AS I MET U WHEN U WERE 6. I AM NOT TRYING TO BE FIRST AND DADDY HAS A DIFFERENT LOVE FOR U THAN HE DOES FOR ME."
i dont knowwhere to get help at....i feel so confused and hurt and depressed whenever i see this child. i feel trapped. and afraid of her due to the recent events. her father is lax about everything, and indirectly blames me for stuff.
Answers: my boyfriends 9 yr old has abused me physically and emotionaly and verbally over the last 3 years (the length of the relationship). after all this time, and a severe incident recently, i have come to the conclusion i am very.....i dont know how to describe it except mentally messed up.
while playing in my daughters room with her, HIS daughter said, out of the blue, "I HATE LIVING WITH YOU. I WAS FIRST IN DADDYS LIFE NOT U AND MELONIE. YOU WANT TO BE FIRST AND U CAN'T BE. DADDY LOVES ME MORE." my response? "I KNOW U CAM EFIRST, AS I MET U WHEN U WERE 6. I AM NOT TRYING TO BE FIRST AND DADDY HAS A DIFFERENT LOVE FOR U THAN HE DOES FOR ME."
i dont knowwhere to get help at....i feel so confused and hurt and depressed whenever i see this child. i feel trapped. and afraid of her due to the recent events. her father is lax about everything, and indirectly blames me for stuff.
leave them all behind. a shitty kid like that can only get it from him. i'm sure he's not saying anything to deter her remarks, so indirectly he is reinforcing her behavior. GET OUT!
Your relationship with the child and the father have to be different. Do you love them both? Then separate them. Love her independent of her father, and love the father independent of her
go to church.
It is possible for your situation to improve. You need to seek family therapy for you, your boyfriend, and all the children. A blended family can put a lot of strain on everyone; confronting your problems head-on and working through them in a mature manner with the assistance of a trained professional offers the best chance of success if you want this relationship to work. Of course your boyfriend would have to be on-board for this to work, which isn't always easy. Try to honestly convey to him how you are feeling, and that it is essential to adress these problems seriously. If he can't empathize with you and agree to work on things you may want to reconsider the relationship.
I'm sure you want to look out for your daugter's best interests as well. Find the strength to do what you know you need to by keeping her in mind.