How much of a closure should one have when changing therapists?!
Question: I have to change therapists (I don't want too), I have been going to her for almost 3 years. What kind of clousure should I have? How many more visits? Etc?
Answers: I have to change therapists (I don't want too), I have been going to her for almost 3 years. What kind of clousure should I have? How many more visits? Etc?
It's really important to have a definite ending. I am very sorry you are having to change therapists and in order to really complete your work with her, to honour it and to say goodbye, you need time. I would usually suggest a minimum of six weeks from when the decision to end is made, if you've been working with her for three years, but she may have a different approach. Talk to her about it. What I think is important is that you and she have time to:
1. think about all that has happened - what has been really important and significant, what has gone well, what has gone less well? are you disappointed in some aspects of the work?
2. think about and discuss your hopes and fears in leaving her, for your future
3. say goodbye - particularly important if your usual pattern is to jump over the goodbye and only really realise how much it all means weeks later. I have had clients with whom the very best and most important work we ever did was in actually saying goodbye, fully acknowledging what we meant to each other and that it would be painful - and could be managed
4. say all those things that haven't previously been said, whether appreciative, angry, kept secret, or whatever; this is important so you're not left thinking 'oh, if only I'd had the courage to say that!'
Ultimately, though, it all depends on what you and your therapist decide together is the best way to go. Talk to her and think about how you want to end. It is YOUR ending and your wishes are important, but it's also important that it is a joint decision, ultimately.
It depends on what you need! Talk to her about it next time you see her, she's the expert!
i had the same therapist for 3 years,i had to move countries, my therapist was very very aware of my leave date and we started a goodbye process maybe 8 weeks before,where i said goodbye to lots of the negatives and postives sounds odd,we both did it,then literally the last few weeks before i saw her twice a week for 2 hours ,usually i would go once a week and often once for an hour then again in the same week for 1.5 hours,but my therapist was very carefull about the whole process-its not easy i could have easy gone every day,wont help though! take care ,good luck
ask your therapist what she thinks she should be advising you
This is for both of you to decide.
First you will probably set a final date.
Next you can decide if you want to continue going every week until that date.
You could go every other week for a while and then maybe once a month.
You will have to figure out what is most comfortable for you.
You need time to discuss your feelings about terminating.
Good Luck and I hope you find another therapist that will work out well for you.