Mom's addictive personality?!
Question: I'm 19 living with my mom,I can't move out b/c I need her support as I'm going through university right now.All my life she has been addicted to cigarettes and if she ever runs out of them she always gets in an angry fit..its very scary.But as of late,she has now developed an addiction to the internet.She lost her job because she kept being so late for work (she would stay up till early morning on it),She hasn't gone back to work and its been 2 mnths now..if i ask her about it she gets mad. She often stays up all nite now,ill wake up in the morning n she'll still b awake on the net..we also lost our net cuz it went out in our area and she when absolutely crazy, she was raging and it was terrifying all bcuz she cudnt go on it.. anytime i try confront her about her addictions she gets mad at me,n tell me to stop talkin to her about it..but now shes even takin me late to school,not wanting to do anything else except smoke n b on the there.what can i do since talking doesnt work with her?
Answers: I'm 19 living with my mom,I can't move out b/c I need her support as I'm going through university right now.All my life she has been addicted to cigarettes and if she ever runs out of them she always gets in an angry fit..its very scary.But as of late,she has now developed an addiction to the internet.She lost her job because she kept being so late for work (she would stay up till early morning on it),She hasn't gone back to work and its been 2 mnths now..if i ask her about it she gets mad. She often stays up all nite now,ill wake up in the morning n she'll still b awake on the net..we also lost our net cuz it went out in our area and she when absolutely crazy, she was raging and it was terrifying all bcuz she cudnt go on it.. anytime i try confront her about her addictions she gets mad at me,n tell me to stop talkin to her about it..but now shes even takin me late to school,not wanting to do anything else except smoke n b on the there.what can i do since talking doesnt work with her?
The easiest thing that you could do is write her a letter. This way ALL of what you have to say comes out before she can go into one of her withdrawl or denial rants.
Pour your heart out to her, tell her exactly what she is doing that is hurting you physically and mentally. Make sure to express your love for her as well as your worries about her evenly and not let it seem like you are jumping down her throut.
You are not really in a possition to give her an ultamadum...as you have to stay for finacial support in school BUT, you can sort of use this method if you put it in a way that you explain how much you worry for her, that it effects your schooling in more ways than one and ultimatly she is holding you back from moving forward.
Don't give up on her, ANY addiction is a very hard thing to kick and it takes much support for most people.
Do not get discouraged if she doesn't read the whole thing,she most likely will, but not infront of you. Tell her it is important to you that she read it with an open heart.
I wish the best of luck to you.
Just tell her that you love her, but make it clear YOU wont enable her - ie playing into her craziness... then Detach yourself with Love - if you don't know what that means read some Alanon literature, or try Alanon (a support group for family members of people with addiction)
I suggest you talk to a financial counsellor at your school, they may be able to help you find alternative housing arrangements. Sounds like your mom is intent on destroying her life, you don't have to let her take you with her.