In a lot of emotional pain and don't feel so good?!


Question: Ok, long story short, I don't have anyone to turn to and no one to talk with about anything. I came out of a severe depression this year, but it seems as though it's coming back. I tried changing my life but see no good coming from those changes. My family makes me insane; my father has emotionally abused me for the last 17 years of my life. He is a trigger for pain for me, so everytime I see him I'm in a bad mood. I had to move out of my mom's because of my stepdad, and my friends are beginning to abandon me. There is one person- my teacher- we are good friends but I can't just waltz on in to her house and ask her for help. I don't know what to do. Everything feels so bad right now and the emotional pain I've been feeling is like knives are cutting at my stomach. I'm thinking about running away, but I've learned that it won't solve your problems. I have a lot of potential in my life, but I don't feel motivated at all. I also think I might be lesbian, and my whole family is homophobic.


Answers: Ok, long story short, I don't have anyone to turn to and no one to talk with about anything. I came out of a severe depression this year, but it seems as though it's coming back. I tried changing my life but see no good coming from those changes. My family makes me insane; my father has emotionally abused me for the last 17 years of my life. He is a trigger for pain for me, so everytime I see him I'm in a bad mood. I had to move out of my mom's because of my stepdad, and my friends are beginning to abandon me. There is one person- my teacher- we are good friends but I can't just waltz on in to her house and ask her for help. I don't know what to do. Everything feels so bad right now and the emotional pain I've been feeling is like knives are cutting at my stomach. I'm thinking about running away, but I've learned that it won't solve your problems. I have a lot of potential in my life, but I don't feel motivated at all. I also think I might be lesbian, and my whole family is homophobic.

Dearest Sarah,

The pain of depression is very, very painful. It actually feels worse than that, it feels like someone or somethimg is pulling at your heart and actually tour whole being. It's like a big 4 wheeler keeps rolling over your heart day after day. The thing is, is that with this type of pain come a lot of various symptoms like sleeplessness or sleeping too much, appetite changes, fatigue, too much energy, lethargy, dizziness, heart palpitations, nausea, headaches, wanting to be alone or isolated, fear, bad dreams/nightmares...shall I go on? You probably feel like you don't know whether you are coming or going. How do I know, been there, done that for years! Now I'm really glad that I saw this because it's a call for help to me, people really don't know the severity of it. You need sojm direction and I'm going to help you. You see, depression causes confusion and it's designed to waste your time so that you can get nothing accomplished and that potential that I know you have is being tested. First off, you aren't alone. There are many people like you, but at least you spoke up and there's plenty of help for you, you just have to know where and how to get it. Try to stay where you are, where you know you have a roof over your head. At least you have food and the basic necessities to live. You don't want to get involved with running away, that can lead to prostitution, etc. You need to find things to do along with some direction so here it goes:

1) In life, one must always have a plan. So, I'm going to help you with a plan. Everything good starts out with a plan. Because once you see things that are good take hold, then you want to see more. Some of your confusion is because there is no plan and no one has helped you with getting one. I mean, what about college? We need to get you some friends, etc.
2) Learn to be grateful for anything good that you can find in your life. You are changing your way of thinking from a negative into a positve. Find one thing each week to be grateful for, then narrow it down to once a day. Then narrow it to all the time. You will be amazed how it works. (I told my daughter that this year everytime I want a parking space, it will be in the front this year, I will never have to park in the back or far away from my destination - well, so far this year, I've parked in the front space or very near wherever I go and my daughter and I just laugh!) You need to laugh too. And hormones don't help either.

3) Try your best to get up and get out of the house. If you are in school, go to the basketball games, get involved with something that you like there.
4) It is my suggestion that you talk to the teacher whom you like. Tell her/him that you'd like some direction. I'm not trying to scare you, it's just that with depression, you just need someone to talk to, and you don't need to wait. It's not anything to play with. Politely ask the teacher when a good time would be for you to speak with her privately and tell her a little of what you are going through (you don't have to tell her everything about the family stuff, just enough so that she has an idea of how tough things are for you). You need to tell her that you really need a friend to help guide you...that you are in emotional pain/mental pain. You have to tell her. I think that she will help you. Perhaps she knows of a church, another person, a doctor, who knows. But you must take the first step. No one will know if you don't tell them and it seems to me that you are good at hiding your feelings, and that stress later can lead to all kinds of health problems. Holding stuff in doesn't help, it only festers, like a cancer and then it spreads and can kill.
5) Ask her about a yoga class or something like that. Exercise always help someone who is depressed. That and keeping busy.
6) Good music is like therapy. Do you have an ipod?

Now, if you'd like someone to talk to, you can e-mail me at http://www.gogihuckaby.freelife.com. Or, I will include you in my contacts so I know when I get a message from you. Just hit the e-mail button. Or you can instant message me aboutbiziness@yahoo.com. I'd love to talk to you anytime, I'm not a sleeper but a dreamer (I dream so much during the night while I'm awake that I don't sleep because I'm always waiting for an answer to life's questions and I'm glad I'm not asleep not to be able to have been here for you to answer your questions. I will help you get started and offer you some good solid advice. Now, I don't want to get into any trouble by speaking to you. I don't know how old you are so, just know that the advice or what I have to say is only that. The advice that I give will be respectful and I have a daughter who is 13 with special needs. I am starting a website for kids who are goign through the stuff you are because it started with me when I was 9. I only want to help you and put you on the right track before you start getting into things that aren't healthy or doing things out of desperation. Been there, done that, too. I don't want you to be upset at your parents but I remember when someone was being abusive towards me, I taped the conversation and then played it back to them to show them how abusive they were. It helped. They never did it to me again. However, I don't know if you need to go that far...for now just play it cool. Perhaps even getting a job might be good. Anyway, I can't go into everything because I have to talk to you to figure out the entire situation.

Also, my son who is 15 and actually our whole family, takes a drink that I know of. It's all natural and helps him with feeling peaceful or a state of well being. That's where we need to get you.

So, if you'd like a friend, I'm here for you. I know some of the messages that you got were not what you were looking for, and I believe it's deeper than that. I am someone that is willing to help and I've got the time and because I'm a woman, I understand and I've been through all of the things you speak of. Also, as far the lesbian thing goes, well, it could just be that men make you so mad, that you don't want anything to do with them, so naturally, you might be so inclined to turn to a woman. Or there is that experimentation stage that we all go through or feeling like other women are attractive. Anyway, rather than going into great detail about that on this forum, like I said e-mail me and I'll talk to you more. I'm not a lesbian, but I've got friends who are. I'm happily married with 2 chidren.

Please, contact me. I really feel for you and because I've been through a lot of what you talk about, I'd love to help.

Take care and look forward to hearing from you.

God bless and wake up this morning and have some coffee or tea! Go back intoyour room and read the paper or go for a walk. You've gotta start to have some rituals that make you happy!

I wish I could tell you exactly what to do, but I can't. What I can say is that you are not alone. I just posted a question myself about feeling terribly lonely. In a different way, I feel your pain and I am so very sorry that things are not going well for you right now.

Maybe you should have a long conversation with the teacher that you trust. He/she may be able to help you, or put you in touch w/someone who can.

Keep your chin up.

Awww... i don't have much time to formulate a good reply because i am at work and about to leave for the night..

But shoot me an email.. i would he happy to talk to you anytime you want.

My name is Jessica. :o)

vancouvercreations@gmail.com

go see a therapest with you and your family and this might help

I know what that feels like. Sucks.
Maybe after class you can just stay after and ask if you can talk to that teacher some time. That's what they're there for, but try to get her to understand that it's not homework/school work.

Or you could try driving up to a therapist and talking to them. If none of those work, there are always online and on phone help places that you can email, talk, some even instant message people like you who don't know what to do, need someone to talk to, but don't know where else to turn.

Good luck :D It'll get better!

you know you can always email me i will listen and give you advice i might not understand you but i could help you

If you have feelings for girls then dont hide them come out with the truth dont be scared and if they dont accept you then who the hell cares its your life not theres and if you have that depressing feeling then you could always go out have fun with friends and just get distracted a bit

Don't let your family, and your problems ruin your future.
Right now you're going through hard times, like everyone else. I had severe depression, i was raped and my mom died, and i had social anxiety disorder. Just appriciate the things you do have, and not focus on all the negative.





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