Can you ...? (ocd and bp...suicidal thoughts)?!
Question: i dunno how to start this.....im a mess...do you have bipolar or ocd and still feel that u can live healthy like normal people do?....i have both ocd and bp and right now i have no one to talk to ...or i just dont wanna talk to same ppl cuz i feel i bore them with the whole thing...i feel like every minute that passes by from my life i could be dead cuz i think of death a lot ...i tried everything to make it right..i tried meds and didnt work out..i had about 7 drs who i end up fighting and never go back to again...i push ppl away who want to be friends with me cuz i get angry from the simplest things and i dont find jokes as jokes i usually find them insulting and i end up kicking somebody...only ones in my life that make me feel a lil better are my pets...have u ever felt that u actually dunno who u r or what u want ?...if anyone of u have something good to tell me or help me with then id apreciate that alot..and if u wanna start giving silly words then u rather not...thanks ..
Answers: i dunno how to start this.....im a mess...do you have bipolar or ocd and still feel that u can live healthy like normal people do?....i have both ocd and bp and right now i have no one to talk to ...or i just dont wanna talk to same ppl cuz i feel i bore them with the whole thing...i feel like every minute that passes by from my life i could be dead cuz i think of death a lot ...i tried everything to make it right..i tried meds and didnt work out..i had about 7 drs who i end up fighting and never go back to again...i push ppl away who want to be friends with me cuz i get angry from the simplest things and i dont find jokes as jokes i usually find them insulting and i end up kicking somebody...only ones in my life that make me feel a lil better are my pets...have u ever felt that u actually dunno who u r or what u want ?...if anyone of u have something good to tell me or help me with then id apreciate that alot..and if u wanna start giving silly words then u rather not...thanks ..
yeah im a mess too i feel the same way.. i constantly reminisce about death and how much better it would be.. i feel as if i have no one in the world and everyone sees me as a strong person but that's because i dont show my emotions much.. i pretend as if everything's okay when im really suffering and need help.. but i dont bother people with my problems bcuz life's about being on your own.. why tell others when everyone else have their own problems? so yeah everytime you think "life's a *****," just think, MAYBE THE GOOD PART JUST HASNT ARRiVED YET.. and soemtimes i feel i just want to dieee. but hey you live, you live to see the next day and what better things are in store for you. so just hang on there =)
all i can say is ..hang in there!
I have OCD and feel my life is great, but it took a long time for me to get here. I suffered with OCD for almost six years before I got any treatment. I tried many meds and it took a while to find a dose, and drug that worked best for me. I'm still a little OCD but it is very much under control. I know it is discouraging but just keep trying different medications and different doctors and someday you will find the right ones. In the meantime try joining a support group or talk to a counselor or something. It will make you feel less alone and maybe others can offer good suggestions to you about doctors/medications they use. Good luck and keep your head up. It'll work out.
I'm Bi-polar and I may have ADD.
When I get depressed I get suicidal.
Though I will never take meds, because
I believe in working my way through things
on my own. My life was messed up.
But for the most part I'm doing pretty good.
I don't attempt suicide anymore, because although at times it seems like I have nothing to live for, I know for a fact I'm too weak to actually go through with it, and I know that things have to get worse before they can get better.. and believe me, they always get better.
If even just a little bit.. at least the pain makes you appreciate the good things more.
My trick is not thinking about things. Always keep your mind busy by doing the things you love. I love art, so I draw most of the time and work on the side to keep my life feeling not so meaningless and so that I have something to keep myself busy in order to keep my mind off things.
Friends are very important too. So never be afraid of meeting new people. Being hurt is inevitable in any situation, so letting fear hold you back is only going to make things worse. Think of things that make you happy, always keep good quotes in mind. (That's what I do at least) Like "Never let the fear of striking out, keep you from playing the game" -From A cinderella story. (Lol)
Just hold onto the little things..
My favorite quote is:
"You have to take the good with the bad, smile with the sad, love what you've got and remember what you had. Always forgive, but never forget, learn from your mistakes, but never regret. PEOPLE CHANGE, THINGS GO WRONG, but just remember life goes on."
It's a well known quote.. but it makes so much sense to me. I live by it basically.
The trick is being strong.
Don't let others bring you down.
Don't dwell too much on things.
Even though things may seem
hopeless at times,
There's always going to be
at least one thing holding you to
this world.
So hold onto it and keep your head up.
If you want someone to talk to
who isn't judgmental, and who
will listen and help when needed
IM me at my AIM sn: xCyanideGumdrop
And if you cant make yourself smile,
make others smile.. and they may
return the favor. <3
Ah hon, you have my deepest compassion but if you are in immediate trouble and are in danger of harming yourself, go to the nearest hospital ER or mental health crisis centre, call an ambulance or get in contact with a mental health helpline.
Labelling yourself as crazy is the first part of your problem. You need to accept yourself as an individual and not let the illness define who you are. Sure you have a horrible illness but it is not WHO you are, even though it is part of your life. I find those of us who have an illness attach a stigma to ourselves and in a negative mind space of our own making.
I have bipolar too and its taken time but I have accepted that bipolar is something I have to live with and I have some limitations because of it, like that I'll feel a bad day and take it harder than my friends do, that I'll be taking maintenance medication for the rest of my life, going to therapy as a regular part of my health routine like brushing my teeth and avoiding situations that expose me to my triggers. But I refuse to let it be an excuse to fail, my disability is not an inability to succeed at life.
I have a great boyfriend and supportive group of friends. I told them about the bipolar and they make allowances for me (though I do have to deal with some good natured 'but your crazy' jokes - humour is one of the things that helps me keep my condition in a positive light) and my boy doesn't let the illness become a major issue in our relationship. He knows where I begin and the illness ends because I made sure of it.
Right now I am unwell and stabilising after a bad mixed episode, but I also know the illness will fluctuate in my life, I can accept that. I'm in a difficult part of my life right now but how the experience is for me depends on the attitude I take to it. Right now I am on a disability pension and can only study part time, but I see this as a time of consolidation in my life and look at what I can do and how I can make my life the most enjoyable it can be. Not how I compare to 'normal people'.
Its great that you have your pets, I know my cat helps relieve my stress and I credit it as one of the reasons I got through school. But i honestly think that you need some counselling, to help you deal with having the illness and how to deal with other people, to develop techniques for maintaining healthy relationships. I think you need to look at the medication option again because it is an essential part of treating bipolar (which is a very manageable condition) and if you can hang in there and find a good doctor and the right medication/therapy regime, your life can be so much better.
If you are bipolar you need meds. Sorry, that's just the way it is. Get on the right ones and your life won't be such a mess. But, in order to do that, you'll have to find a psychiatrist that you can trust.
As for the rest, perhaps try therapy. It sounds like you have issues to work thru that a good counselor could help you with.
DBSA also has support groups across the country. It can help a lot to talk to others with bipolar and depression. At mine, there are some with OCD as well.
http://www.dbsalliance.org/site/PageServ...
These probably aren't the answers that you want to hear, but they are the ones that will get you to better emotional health.
I have OCD too, and it has plagued my life for eight years. My girlfriend ended up making me go to the mental health profession to get some help. I think I live a fairly "normal" life - nobody but my girlfriend knows about my OCD and I have been able to hide it very well for all this time. I throw myself into academic studies and stay away from things which 'upset' me - going out of my comfort zone etc. I'm not going to be too personal but when I'm alone and in my bedroom I feel like I'm one hundred percent not normal and mentally ill - but I don't know if this is paranoia, wondering whether I'm getting any better or whether my OCD is intensifying. I am the same with my pets. Have you tried CBT (cognitive behavioural therapy)? I find it very difficult as a result of OCD to make friends/interact with others/leave the house, but CBT made things a hell of a lot easier. Rituals that use to take over my life (touching wood constantly to 'cancel out' bad thoughts, washing hands etc) have been reduced to a minimum. Don't feel like you bore people by talking about the way you feel. I think you should seriously contemplate going back to see a psychologist/psychiatrist, who will NEVER bore of you talking to them. Sometimes, it's better to have someone who knows what you're going through and can suggest things for you to try. Honestly, my life was unbearable - I felt OCD gave me so much weight on my shoulders that when I got help, it was a huge relief. I'm not counting numbers in my head as much as I used to, I'm not obsessed with clearing bad thoughts, I'm not checking things constantly. Things will get better. I know this, because despite not suffering from bipolar, I have OCD and I know what you're going through. Don't let it beat you. x