Boyfriend spent weekend rescuing his ex-girlfriend!??!
Question: Boyfriend spent weekend rescuing his ex-girlfriend!??
Hi, I just got back from a vacation with my family. The guy I've been dating for the past three months didn't answer my phone calls to him when I got back for the past 2 days because he was spending time with the ex-girlfriend who is suffering from major depression. He wanted to be there to be a support for her.
While I understand they have a friendship that's lasted for 7 years, I don't really believe him when he claims he is not getting back together with her... (although I don't think he's sleeping with her either because she's unattractive and radically overweight - I am much cuter and smarter).
This is mostly because there have been several occasions we're having a good chat on the phone, and she calls and interrupts us with 'an emergency'. He hangs up on me to talk to her. Its like he's enmeshed.
Which I totally cannot deal with. It makes me feel completely disrespected. Am I overreacting and what the heck do I tell him?
Answers: Boyfriend spent weekend rescuing his ex-girlfriend!??
Hi, I just got back from a vacation with my family. The guy I've been dating for the past three months didn't answer my phone calls to him when I got back for the past 2 days because he was spending time with the ex-girlfriend who is suffering from major depression. He wanted to be there to be a support for her.
While I understand they have a friendship that's lasted for 7 years, I don't really believe him when he claims he is not getting back together with her... (although I don't think he's sleeping with her either because she's unattractive and radically overweight - I am much cuter and smarter).
This is mostly because there have been several occasions we're having a good chat on the phone, and she calls and interrupts us with 'an emergency'. He hangs up on me to talk to her. Its like he's enmeshed.
Which I totally cannot deal with. It makes me feel completely disrespected. Am I overreacting and what the heck do I tell him?
Tell him to go back to fatso. You have better things to do than waste your time with some putz who's trying to be everyone's boyfriend. Drop this goober and find someone who enjoys being with just you.
Maybe you should try talking to the ex-girlfriend and tell her how her neediness is interrupting your relationship. Be nice about it and maybe she'll understand and butt out.
You are not overreacting..in fact I think you are underreacting.
I would lay it all out on the table and say "Look, I know you are her friend, but you aren't her only friend. You need to decide if you need to be with her or if you want to be with me."
Let him know that you understand that he wants to continue to be her friend, but that doesn't mean he needs to disrespect you, spend a lot of time with her or be there for her all the time.
Although he is with you he did used to be with her-which may make him still feel a little bit responsible to take care of her, especially with something as serious as depression. I don't think you should necessarily say anything to him about it unless it really is bothering you that much, and if it is, just tell him how you feel
No you're not overreacting at all. Hell if I was in your position I would be absolutely FURIOUS! Talk to him and let him know that YOU need time with him and that he doesn't need to be around his ex ALL the time. Hope this helps, good luck!
Maybe he's tired of your shallowness and trite attitude. And now he realizes the goodness in his ex.
you arent overreacting
You aren't over-reacting. She may be holding on to him thru her neediness. Then again, she may have a serious problem and isn't being manipulative. Personally, you come off as arrogantly superficial. Appearances may snag someone but they aren't the substance of an LTR. I think he can do better than you. Whether she's it for him or not is another matter.
Apparently, you ego is getting in your way; it's your worst enemy. On the other hand, her "unattractiveness" and those radical extra pounds " apparently have it "going on". Physical beauty has nothing to do with it. I think that as far as your concerned...Your beauty is skin deep, and your ugliness goes all the way down to your bones! Haven't you considered the fact that he might not want to admit it but...He likes the "cushing' for the "pushing". He likes meat on his pork chops, then when he get through with the meat, he remembers to "suck out" the bone. Sounds familiar????
I think you should avoid his calls for a few days. Or weeks. And then tell him your ex was depressed and you were "helping him." He'll get the message.