How should i approach my mom about my depression?!
Question: I have been depressed for around a year now and i want to get help. I know my mom will freak when she finds out i want to go to therapy - i have mentioned it to her and she said, "therapy is for people who can't talk to their family, if you have problems just talk to me."
The problem is i am not that close to my mon and i don't want to express my feelings to her. I have had suicidal thoughts and attempts along with self harming my self for a long time now.
I have told my 3 closest friends and i'm sure they would help in any way they could, but as of now i have sworn them to secrecy. I really want to get help but my mom is under so much stress as it is, my dad is a jerk a lot of the time and my bi-polar grandma is living with us - fun stuff. I can't tell her, trust me i've tried.
If you are a mom and have any advise i would greatly appreciate it.
I'm at the end of my rope and i just want help, even if it means going behind my parents backs.
I don't trust school counselors.
Answers: I have been depressed for around a year now and i want to get help. I know my mom will freak when she finds out i want to go to therapy - i have mentioned it to her and she said, "therapy is for people who can't talk to their family, if you have problems just talk to me."
The problem is i am not that close to my mon and i don't want to express my feelings to her. I have had suicidal thoughts and attempts along with self harming my self for a long time now.
I have told my 3 closest friends and i'm sure they would help in any way they could, but as of now i have sworn them to secrecy. I really want to get help but my mom is under so much stress as it is, my dad is a jerk a lot of the time and my bi-polar grandma is living with us - fun stuff. I can't tell her, trust me i've tried.
If you are a mom and have any advise i would greatly appreciate it.
I'm at the end of my rope and i just want help, even if it means going behind my parents backs.
I don't trust school counselors.
Wow, you sound exactly like me two years ago. I was in your exact same situation when I was a freshman in high school and it was so scary to try and talk to her when she had no idea what was going on. What I did when I had hit rock bottom was one day I purposely made up some excuse that I needed her to take me to the store and then when we were alone in the car I told her I needed to go to the doctor. She asked why and I told her that I was having problems with sleeping. She said no at first, but after I bothered her for awhile she agreed. Then when we got there I told her I needed to see the doctor without her, which made her mad because she knew I was hiding something and then I was diagnosed for depression. Her and my father still didn't understand or believe what I was going through and thought it was just normal teenage troubles but it wasn't. My advice to you is to talk to her right away and don't let yourself suffer any longer. Luckily, I got the help I needed and am pretty much better. Just try and be brave and talk to her and if she refuses to get you help, you need to talk to someone who will. I wish you the best of luck, I've been in your shoes and I know what you are going through. Just remember, you are never alone.
P.S. I tried talking to my school counselor and he told me that I was just stressed...which was completely wrong. He told me to come back some time when he wasn't so busy. So I wouldn't recommend school counselors unless yours is a good one. Good luck again. :o)
Just tell her the truth, tell her how you feel. If she disaproves, tell her you think you really need it.
being honest is always good
sorry not more i can say on this...
ok im not a mom but i used 2 hurt myself. my friend ratted me out 2 the skool counselor & they told my parents. I went 2 therapy it really didn't help but something about my parents knowing that i'm hurting inside did. Can u talk 2 ur dad or any1 else in ur family about it?
I can understand this. I can't talk with my mom.. And I've been depressed for three years and recently It's gotten worse.. I'm always confused and depressed now. Anyways.. I just told my mom "I need help with my depression." She's taking me to the doctor soon... If you think your mom won't take you for that purpose, say that you have some other issue that requires a doctor's visit and then let 'er rip... At the doctor's office, that is..
You need to be honest with your mother and tell her how you feel and about your suicidal feelings so she can get you some help. I'm sure even though it may upset her at first shell be grateful in the end , please know that she loves you and would not want you to kill yourself so do yourself and your family a favor and go tell your mother and get help please....
Well, school conselors can be a big help, but if your uncomfortable, just be totally honest with your mom.
She will be so much happier to hear it from you then if she finds out from someone else.
Talk to your mom, and just, tell her how your feeling, and im sure she will be more than happy to do everything in her power to get you help. Tell her you need professional help, and you think therapy is the only way. Because she just cant help you the way you need it.
Or maybe if your close to an aunt, or a friends mom, they could definately be a big help too.
Keep your chin up, stay happy, dont forget, there all lots of people who love you, and when your sad, eat chocolate.
I was kind of in the same spot as you.. but I had stomach issues. Severe as in going to the best doctors in the country to figure it out and surgery and stuff. And one doctory suggested I see a physcologist just in case it's anxiety soo..that's where I am now.
Okay word of advice
<b> DONT</b> tell the physcologist you are thinking about killing yourself, they can take you away to a mental hospital.. and i guess you can't say you are hurting yourself either. just when you go make sure you ask them what you can tell them without telling your parents
that's happened to my friend.
Write her a letter expressing how you dont feel comfortable telling her in person. Say its hard as it is and you need to see a counselor before anything bad happens.
See self harm, in section 16, at http://www.ezy-build.net.nz/~shaneris and contact them, when you feel the need to self harm/cut, and do the same with suicidal thoughts, in section 5. My standard post follows, but, if you are young, antidepressants are unsuitable for young people. See depression treatments, at ezy-build *(below) in section 2, and consult a doctor, to eliminate thyroid problems, etc. as possible contributing factors: also seek a referral to a therapist using Cognitive Behavioural Therapy, or Rational Emotive Behavioural Therapy. It is your decision, and yours alone, as to whether to take any antidepressants offered, but, before you do, read section 1, and check medications out at www.drugs.com so you will be on the lookout for side effects, like sexual dysfunction. My strong recommendation, however, is to follow the advice of my doctor, his associate, and also Marcelle Pick, OB/GYN NP, and Dr. Mercola, at http://www.mercola.com and many others: avoid antidepressants (pages 2V, and 2Z refer, & antidepressant websites: page 2). The reasons why we all share the same view on this are explained in full, as you will find, if you read the whole section. All of their advice, (except prayer, because many people are not religious) I have incorporated into the "core treatments", including occupational therapy, relaxation techniques, and exercise, with others as options, such as the supplements: Inositol, or SAMe, or herbal remedies, like St. John's wort. If you are diagnosed with clinical (major) depression, antidepressants may be necessary for a while, which will give the treatments time to become effective. The antidepressants themselves need at least several days, or even weeks to begin becoming effective. It's a good idea to taper off them slowly, with medical advice, after several months, say, to a couple of years, at most, because they are only effective in the long term for about 30% of people. Because of this, you would be well advised to begin the treatments immediately, and maintain them. I'd just thank your mental health care provider, and pocket the prescription, trying the treatments for a few months, to see if they are sufficient for you, before considering filling it (unless clinically depressed, and having great difficulty functioning, or suicidal, in which case I'd take them). If the amount of daylight you have been exposed to recently has reduced, perhaps due to the change of seasons, see Seasonal Affective Disorder (S.A.D.) in section 2, at * http://www.ezy-build.net.nz/~shaneris and, instead of taking 4 Omega 3 fish oil supplements, daily; replace 2 of them with cod liver oil supplements for the winter months only! (or, as probably a better alternative to the 2 cod liver oil supplements: 1 teaspoonful of cod liver oil, with a little butter, to ensure its use; I take mine on sourdough rye bread, or toast, covered with fishpaste, and pepper, to mask the strong taste). Consider having your doctor test your vitamin D levels, using the 25 HYDROXYVITAMIN D test. Optimal levels are 50 - 55 ng/ml (115 - 125 nmol/l. It should be above 32 ng/ml. ~~~ Several of the above treatments are available to you: they are not quick to work, but then, neither are therapy, or antidepressants. ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ For your grandmother. BIPOLAR DISORDER. See bipolar disorder, at ezy-build * (below) in section 10, and take the quiz, if unsure, and if the results are positive, ensure you get an expert diagnosis from a mental health professional, not doctors, who are much better dealing with physical ailments, and don't diagnose complex disorders like bipolar disorder, schizophrenia, and borderline personality disorder often enough to develop any real expertise. Bipolar disorder usually involves major moodswings, which occur without apparent cause, and often over many months, or a matter of years, rather than days, as with most people (unless rapid cycling). I'd take 4 Omega 3 fish oil supplements daily, replacing 2 of them with cod liver oil supplements in the winter months. If you decide to use allopathic (modern Western) medicine, I recommend trying Lithium Carbonate, or Lithium Citrate (regular tests are necessary, for these), before trying the other mood stabilisers, but if you aren't good at taking medications regularly, drinking adequate water, and keeping up your salt intake, something else may suit you better. Always check out anything first at http://www.drugs.com/, so you will be aware of the risks, and on the lookout for side effects. (Personally, if I wasn't bipolar type 1, and didn't experience hallucinations, or serious delusional states, I know I'd first try the orthomolecular and Omega 3 fish oil supplements, vitamins, minerals, and mostly raw food diet, for several months. I'd aso eat in accordance with my "nutritional type". Enter that term in the searchbar at http://www.mercola.com/ ). If not considerably improved, after several months, consult your primary mental health care provider. If bipolar type 1, an antipsychotic medication may also be needed. Everyone should take the Omega 3 supplements, or preferably "krill oil" for its other health benefits: use the searchbar at http://www.mercola.com/ . Some people refuse medication, using supplements, and a selective, mostly raw food diet (I do not recommended trying this, if bipolar 1, unless you aren't troubled by hallucinations, or delusional states). Maintain the treatments for the depressive phase, in section 2, at * http://www.ezy-build.net.nz/~shaneris
I told my mother when I was 15 that I was depressed. This was 25 years ago. I spent the next 20 years dealing with it myself with denial, drug abuse, and co-dependent personal relationships. Fun huh'? No not really. I remember telling her. She denied it right away. It was not until I finally came to terms with myself years later that I realized that my mother had her own issues. She was raised in an alcoholic family and never understood how the body can have an effect on our mental well being. Hell, she was taught to knock it back with alchohol. Well, mom never drank, she made sure she married a man from a 'non drinking' family. That's how SHE dealt with her outlook on life. I always wanted to trust her viewpoint. The fact is she was miffed by any and all alcohol, drugs, and EVEN prescribed medications. You need to say, I AM going to get through this. I know I have a menatl problem. I am not ashamed. I can't just will myself happy. You can try, I did. I even conviced myself everything was fine. But it wasn't!! Be very real with yourself. Demand help. I know the school councilers will doublecross you most of the time, but if you find a teacher, even if they are not the counciler, and tell them, I DO want help, but I don't want anyone to talk to my family about it unless we are together in a room and someone who is qualified to show us as a family the facts about depression, then I will have to stick it out by myself. Tell this person that you are not suicidal, and have never been, but you think you deserve a quality of life where you have a level playing field to be able to feel happy like anyone else. IF you ARE suicidal then you obviously need immediate help. It's tough being a minor and at the mercy of adults calling the shots. I've seen too many kids get fed way too many drugs, when all they needed was a simple antidepressent and therapy. Don't make a move if you think for a minute that your family would rather sweep you under a rug and let a mental health facility keep you and fill you with drugs. If your family is that easily influenced by the medical establishment then be very cautious. You can do this research on your own, but don't do street drugs whatever you do, you'll just get more lost and it will drag out for years.Good luck