Should I give my therapist this "gift" ?!
Question: Before going on a trip to europe, all my friends & family had been telling me to bring back pictures, and my response was "I'm going to bring back tons of pictures and chocolate." (meaning for them to eat). So when my therapist said "bring back lots of pictures" this slipped out automatically. I did get a small bag of chocolate just in case, but now I'm faced with a dillema. I don't have any desire to cross the patient/therapist boundary, but by offering her the chocolate, that's exactly what she'll think I want to do, so that makes me even more uncomfortable. I said this phrase again last time to gauge her response, and she said "Well I can't wait to see the pictures." I think that means she wouldn't be ok accepting the chocolate, but I don't want to seem rude by not offering since I've now said it twice. I never even wanted to get her anything in the first place, and now I've just gotten myself in over my head because of a stupid slip of the tounge. What should I do?!
Answers: Before going on a trip to europe, all my friends & family had been telling me to bring back pictures, and my response was "I'm going to bring back tons of pictures and chocolate." (meaning for them to eat). So when my therapist said "bring back lots of pictures" this slipped out automatically. I did get a small bag of chocolate just in case, but now I'm faced with a dillema. I don't have any desire to cross the patient/therapist boundary, but by offering her the chocolate, that's exactly what she'll think I want to do, so that makes me even more uncomfortable. I said this phrase again last time to gauge her response, and she said "Well I can't wait to see the pictures." I think that means she wouldn't be ok accepting the chocolate, but I don't want to seem rude by not offering since I've now said it twice. I never even wanted to get her anything in the first place, and now I've just gotten myself in over my head because of a stupid slip of the tounge. What should I do?!
Just show her the pictures and totally forget anything else. If she is a psychologist, her professional training will allow her to figure out a reasonable scenario without it ever being discussed. Try to relax about things. Your anxiety will show through if you act like it bothers you this much. Good luck.
Lie and say you forgot to bring enough back.
i didn't read your whole question...but in here in Mass...I've heard that therapists aren't suppose to accept gifts from patients by law...they cold lose their license
I dont think it matters either way. If you show her the pictures, you can politely say you brought back chocolate to share, and ask, "would you like some?" She can then decline, just as politely, and it will be a nonissue. I dont think you're crossing a line, especially if you bought the chocolate overseas to share with others because it cannot be obtained in the States. I hope she will only see it as a kind sociable offer, I do not think she will see it as trying to pursue her. If she isnt allowed to accept the chocolate, as trivial as mere chocolate may seem, then that burden lays with her to make a decision, not you.
If you seem to "forget" about the chocolate, I'm positive she probably would not push the matter, or even feel slighted. People forget things all the time, and as a therapist you'd hope that she'd have this little bit of sense tucked away into her head by now.
Its also not awkward to to simply say, "I wanted to offer you some chocolate I bought in Europe, but wasnt sure if it'd be appropriate" and leave the decision up to her to accept or not. Either way, if she is offended, or isnt, I guess it doesnt matter...you pay her to listen to you and offer constructive advice, not to like you 100% all the time. I wouldnt worry about it.
I think that would be perfectly appropriate. If you are really that concerned, when you give it to her, say something like "Just wanted to bring a bit of Europe back for you! Enjoy!" Keep it light and pleasant and move on to your session. I'm sure she'll be happy and not think twice about it. In my family, we oftentimes bring presents to people we deal with professionally during the holidays. It shows that you appreciate them and their business.
It puts her in a weird position if you offer her a gift. Show her the pictures. Then, be up front. Say, "I bought you some chocolate, but then I realized I shouldn't give it to you because of this weird therapy-client boundary thing. I feel kind of awkward about it, but I gave it to my next door neighbor instead, just so I wouldn't raise an issue in here. I hope you understand." Of course she'll understand. You just saved her from trying to graciously refuse a gift. Easier for everybody, and you didn't have to be dishonest.
Why not just give her a "Thank you" card and quit therapy.
Be honest to your therapist: say you were not too sure whether you can give her some chocolate from abroad, but if you can, you've a box/bag ready in your handbag/racksack to give it to her.
In my job (support worker), we are not suppose to receive gift, but if happen, we need to use our own judgement according to the situation and why the gift. In your case, if it's special chocolate from abroad (you can not find here), then I personaly would accept it.
But, be honest. Particular to your therapist!
If you never really wanted to get her anything in the first place, go with your gut feeling.
You may be putting more thought into this than there really is.
She may not be thinking about chocolate. She sees a lot of other people. It sounds like you want to begin to break away from seeing her. Do what you need to do to help you come to your decision about therapy.