My 21 year old ex-boyfriend has schizophrenia, is it possible to have a normal f!
Question: when i was 17years old we were together for 3years we broke up early last year, during the relationship he was the best sex i ever had but he was verbly abusive, controlling, he threatend me several times,had anger outburst,he lied about the most dumbest things, he dropped out of school before he met me and he was pretty much a hermet stayed in the house alot unless he was out w/his friends smoking doing drugs. when i was w/him he put me through alot of stress and it wasnt untill 2006 that he found out he was diagnosed w/schizophrenia which made the lightbulb go off in my head understanding better why he acted this way. we stopped talking for a while and recently he has been calling me and has said he has changed he doesnt act the way he did because he stopped doing drugs and doesnt hang out w/the same people i've made it clear that we would never be in a relationship again but part of me feels bad knowing that its not his fault is it possible that we can have a healthy friendship?
Answers: when i was 17years old we were together for 3years we broke up early last year, during the relationship he was the best sex i ever had but he was verbly abusive, controlling, he threatend me several times,had anger outburst,he lied about the most dumbest things, he dropped out of school before he met me and he was pretty much a hermet stayed in the house alot unless he was out w/his friends smoking doing drugs. when i was w/him he put me through alot of stress and it wasnt untill 2006 that he found out he was diagnosed w/schizophrenia which made the lightbulb go off in my head understanding better why he acted this way. we stopped talking for a while and recently he has been calling me and has said he has changed he doesnt act the way he did because he stopped doing drugs and doesnt hang out w/the same people i've made it clear that we would never be in a relationship again but part of me feels bad knowing that its not his fault is it possible that we can have a healthy friendship?
I think it is possible to have a normal friendship. There actually are medications that are available to him, these will help control the moodswings and angry outbursts. If he can control himself, I see no reason why the two of you couldn't be friends.
However, if he was abusive etc, you should not put yourself in that position again. You need to set clear boundaries. You have to understand that a sexual relationship will put you at risk of his abuse again.
I would be very careful at trying to maintain a friendship with this individual. You need to have a backbone and the ability to say, "no" to him. You can't let him push you around. It's likely that he might try things like, "I'm feeling really depressed. You have to see me now.". It's his way of trying to control you. You need to understand this and avoid that.
I honestly think you should wait until you are able to look at him as a friend, not just, "the best sex i ever had".
You should also ask yourself what you want from this friendship. Do you want his friendship? Did you have fun hanging out with him and his friends? Are you lonely? Do you feel pity for him and want to save him from his schizophrenia? Do you miss the incredible sex? If you want any of the later three questions, avoid this man - you'll only get hurt.
pardon?
No, it's not possible to have a normal relationship with a mentally ill person. Unless they seek treatment and stick to it.
By the way, this is a period (.). Use it after each sentence.
run
away
let him go- don't be a retard
Uhhh...Hello....no you can't have a normal friendship...Run like heck!
If he was abusive and manipulative, then there's a good chance he'll try to do it again. He knows how to get you to give him control. It wouldn't be wise to stay friends, unless he starts cleaning up his act (eg starts therapy, takes his medication, gets off drugs and alcohol,..) and makes a total change in personality. Which is very unlikely.
I would definetly never again pursue a relationship with him! Start your friendship out slow and see how things go. If he evens shows a single sign of treating you the way he used to, put an end to the friendship immediately. Other than that, sure, why not? If he is on some effective medication (which he should be), there is no reason why the two of you can't have a healthy friendship. If he is still doing destructive things however and is not respecting you and your needs, cut the ties.
I find it hard to believe that all of his prior bad behaviour was due to his illness. It is possible to have a friendship with the guy but don't get intimate with him again. Remember you are only young and there are so many guys out there for you to explore and find the right one. Move on.
In my experience, there is no such thing as being friends with your ex. One person in the new relationship will want more than just friendship.
Maybe things truly have changed for him, and maybe a new relationship could work out....but thats really up to you.