How can i stop thinking negative thoughts when i truly believe them?!
Question: i'm having difficulty wording this so that it makes sense.
i have depression, and the psych told me that it's just the depressive brain, and that the negative thoughts i have aren't real, and that i don't need to believe them. but how can i stop believing them when i'm so sure that they're true? for example. i hate myself. i think i look terribly ugly, and i'm much fatter than everyone else. people tell me i'm not, but i cannot believe that. and i get so depressed when we're changed for PE at school, and everyone else looks so much better and is so much thinner. and when i'm in a good mood after going to town with friends, as soon as i see my reflection in the bus window on the way home i feel depressed and remember how ugly i really am. then i'm depressed for the rest of the evening.. how can i gain more confidence in myself, and stop believing/thinking negative thoughts?
Answers: i'm having difficulty wording this so that it makes sense.
i have depression, and the psych told me that it's just the depressive brain, and that the negative thoughts i have aren't real, and that i don't need to believe them. but how can i stop believing them when i'm so sure that they're true? for example. i hate myself. i think i look terribly ugly, and i'm much fatter than everyone else. people tell me i'm not, but i cannot believe that. and i get so depressed when we're changed for PE at school, and everyone else looks so much better and is so much thinner. and when i'm in a good mood after going to town with friends, as soon as i see my reflection in the bus window on the way home i feel depressed and remember how ugly i really am. then i'm depressed for the rest of the evening.. how can i gain more confidence in myself, and stop believing/thinking negative thoughts?
The BEST solution to any problem is to take action. Feeling depressed and sad about things NEVER solves anything. Yes, it's hard, but I assure you that I was in the same situation as you when I was growing up in school. Then, when I was 27 (Good God, don't wait that long!), I started exercising on a regular basis. I lost weight, and my life changed because my attitude about myself changed/my mirror image changed. It's not feasible to say, "just don't worry about it." That never works! People worry about what they worry about, and saying stop it doesn't change it, so don't listen to the fools on here who tell you to just stop caring about it. And telling yourself, "I look good," or "I'm wonderful" is not a REAL solution -- it's just empty talk. Truly. NOTHING will change until you GET UP ON YOUR FEET AND TAKE ACTION!! Walking briskly for even just 15-20 minutes four times a week will help you to drop that extra weight. Or try jogging/walking briskly in a pool! It's AWESOME! It's not hard; it's fun; you won't sweat; and the weight pours off (give it a few weeks to get yourself into a solid fat-burning mode) because you're not only doing cardio but you're also doing a resistance workout at the same time! Your muscles build up, and when you're NOT working out - you'll be burning more fat! TAKE ACTION, HONEY -- IT'S THE BEST WAY TO CHANGE YOUR OUTLOOK!! Sure, it's easier to just say, "I look good," or "I'm not going to care what people think of me any more," BUT nothing changes your life for the better like good positive action. Yes, it's harder, but it's a real and solid solution, not just empty jibberish. Good luck and God bless.
Stop giving a damn whether or not you're ugly.
I am, and I couldn't care less.
The whole "F*ck it, I'mma go have a laugh and experiment a bit with narcotics." attitude has worked well enough for me.
it take ten positive thoughts to counter act one negative thought. When I have a negative thought, I take out my little notebook and start writing positive things about myself, and will not stop until I have ten. At first, it was tough going, but now, it doesn't even happen very often and when it does, finding the ten good things is easy. It's a habit, and you can make or break any habit you have. Just takes a bit of discipline, and that is do-able.
Anti depressants can help alleviate your pain. Be warned long term use can result in side effects like insomona, weight gain.
You need to build up some self confidence which isn't easy when you haven't got any! But start off with little things - surf some postive thinking web sites. Get some positive acclamations - like "I am good looking", "I am wonderful" "I am going to have a great day" and "I am going to meet some great people today" - write them on paper - and put them on your mirrors and walls were you are going to see them and say them out loud all the time. Get some motivational posters for your walls. can be found to buy on the internet. Remember there are always people who will be better and worse than you, thinner and fatter, richer and poorer. Just be the best be you can be. Also start a picture board - cut out pictures from magazines of who you want to be and what you want to do in the future. And put it somehwere you can see it in your room. And if you can get involved in some groups - find something fun that you will enjoy from a drama group to bell ringing! Being involved and contributing will help you in other areas. Even joining a gym can help boost your self-confidence.
how about not worrying about it... cause guess what that's the way everybody feels sometimes... people always have a tendence to doubt things, put themselves, or others down.
we always compare ourselves to others...thinking oh if only, if only...
how about trying to think about life in a more positive way...personally i like hanging out with my friends but not because of their LOOKS (in other words, your friends like you just the same... whether you are or aren't.)
actually if you don't mind me doing so...i challenge you...
i challenge you to compliement somebody else...and see what kind of reaction you get...actually lots of people and see what kind of reactions you get... why? cause it might not only make them feel better but it'll make you feel better...
have you ever heard the saying...
"when we make others happy we make ourselves happy"
but all in all i'd say no worries... live, laugh, love.
:]
I am much older than you I can tell because you are still in school and I am 25 so please listen carefully!
When I was younger around 13 to 18 I had an obsession with other people appearances. I was very shallow and vein and only like the "pretty people". God knows that they are just as concerned about their appearance as you are.
Today, I have some friends that I would not want to like like because I don't consider them to be gorgeous people BUT I would never want to lose them as friends because they are Simply Amazing people! you wanna know what makes them so amazing? They just don't care. They don't look in a window in the street and get depressed because they THINK they are ugly and that is because they are still having fun and people still want to be their frienfs because they are funny, friendly and kind.
Bottom line is that you can look the way you look and still be loved and worshiped for who you are by good people that you will like.
If you want you can get a little more exercise so that you can lose a few extra pounds and gain more confidence and become stronger.
try to work on a style that suits you, look through some magazines and figure out whats best for you.
And always remember that Life isn't about finding your self, what it's really about is CREATING yourself! Take care
I empathise. I've had three instances of depressive illness in the last 30 years. The last two were triggered by the deaths of close family members and hit me far harder That ever thought they would. I developed a strategy of making mental lists of mundane things and broke them down into alphabetical series -counting all the 'a's, 'b's,and so on. The value of this seemed to be the distraction from negative thoughts about myself. i.e I had other things to think about and didn't concentrate on my self perceived inadequacies I got through it. A chance conversation with an old friend reminded me of my successes in life and I came through it.
One last bit of advice. After the first month or so stop taking the medication - or at least try to. None of the anxiolitics are 100% safe.
I think your concentrating on you too much. We all have image issue.....we all have demons. Even those that look perfectly happy with themselves have an issue about themselves. What you have to put in perspective is that you are your own person, you were meant to be different. I was meant to be different! I look nothing like what society tells me I should look like or act like for that matter and I've never been without a boyfriend, friends, a husband (or two!), a job, family that loves me, shelter...etc.
Obviously you have friends which means that you're a good person. They see nothing wrong with you either - they hung out with you and had a great time too I suppose? Trust me, you think one of those friends didnt go home and have the very same thoughts as you?
Get comfortable in your skin kiddo. You'll be better for it in the long run. Stand tall and proud of everything that you are because without that face....you wouldnt be you!
Everyone can do things to improve their weight but not everyone was meant to be super thin, model-esque, tall, beautiful, etc....the only way to improve your thinking and perhaps your image of yourself is to begin at least liking you. Your attitude will weigh you down in more than one way......when your negative and bitter, it shows. You can lose friends, family gives up trying to convince you that you are in fact special.
Would you feel worse than you do now if that were the case? ABSOLUTELY.
You're feeling the pressure of society. Don't let them rain on your parade. You're the only one who will be holding an umbrella.................
Idk if you're male or female. But I know for males (I almost guarantee this will work for chicks too) looks don't mean anything. I'm not too great looking but I can get more women than a Womens Restroom, well not quite that much. But at any given time I can have up to 3-5 girls that would get with me (relationship wise or sexual). You just gotta know how to act and be more confident. But if you don't care about relationships, and you just feel your ugly and everyone else looks better. Well I'm not that good at all. You just gotta have more confidence, tell yourself you look good, and then you will gain a higher self esteem. You just have to believe certain things. No matter what you think still tell yourself, it'll show up more in your personality and people might even start making you feel a lot more attractive. This coming from someone who had no self esteem, I still think low of myself, cause I have some extra baggage on my stomach. But I became more conifdent, I'm funny, and great to be around.... overall that makes you feel like a better person, because more people are attracted to you. I also am very open and tell things staight out and I put in a touch of arrogance (that just shows more confidence). Basically, I'm saying looking better can be changed by your attitude/ personality. You don't have to rely on looks alone.
There's a solution. And it helps you question your thinking so you're no longer believing thoughts.... go to:
Are you seeing any benefits from going with the flow of these thoughts? Are they changing the situation?
No, only making you more misrable.
If you do what you have always done you'll get what you always got!
Also the longer you think like that, the longer you will stay in this situation.
So in order to change, I sure thats what you want.
You have to replace the negitive with posivtive thoughts.
It will be tough, but little by little you will see changes.
So think okay I got what I got, how can I work with this?
Build yourself up, make the most of yourself, Act like the person you want to be. Before long you might believe it.
Set goals for yourself, for example today I will say 5 good things about myself. I will not look at my weight negitively.
Make sure you smile, it will change the way you feel.
All the best, give it a go. Worth a try.?