Help for confiding in a teacher about depressive thoughts and self harm please ?!
Question: I self harm , have depressive thoughts and am constantly down and low ....i am a very shy girl (14) and i want to confide in my maths teacher who's really nice and i trust totally....but im really shy and i dont know how and also i dont wish for her to tell anyone else ..please advice and dont reply with "dont self harm" because yuu dont know how hard it is untill yuu do it okay !
Answers: I self harm , have depressive thoughts and am constantly down and low ....i am a very shy girl (14) and i want to confide in my maths teacher who's really nice and i trust totally....but im really shy and i dont know how and also i dont wish for her to tell anyone else ..please advice and dont reply with "dont self harm" because yuu dont know how hard it is untill yuu do it okay !
I am a teacher and I can assure you that I'd not tell anyone if a student came to me.
I think you need help. Go to her and tell her. Obviously you feel she is a caring person or you'd not consider telling her.
Consider leaving a note behind after class or sneaking an envelope under the door before school.
Emailing wouldn't be a bad idea.
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After a maths class, ask your teacher if you can ask something about what she`s / he`s just taught...this will ensure a few minutes to make sure no-one else is still in the room. Then, say you`ve got something else you need to ask about....you can ask about self injury, generally to start with, then hopefully manage to speak about what you need to.
As a teacher, I can tell you that teachers want to help. However, they are also legally bound (at least in California) to report if they believe a student is in danger. She may be compelled to talk to your parents or a school counselor, depending on the details of your self-harming. If you're looking for someone to get you some help, your teacher can do that. Either ask her if you could talk to her privately, or write her a note. If you trust her, then trust that she will do the best thing for you, even if it might be scary to you. Don't suffer another day alone.
trust your instincts. It sounds like you have been thinking about this step for a while and I think you have properly judged this teacher as someone trustworthy.
I had a similar experience when I was your age. I was self harming and I wanted to tell a teacher that I trusted. I didn't know how to begin the subject and I remember pushing my sleeves up just enough for her to see. She asked me about it and we took it from there. That was 20 years ago, and I will never forget the help and support she gave me.
I hope you get the help and support you need too. Very best wishes. x
if you tell a teacher the teacher will tell someone to get you help if you don't want it to get out talk to a help hotline
Listen to mamabear, she is absolutely right.
be very careful about disclosing to people.
sometimes God is the only one you can really tell.
you can't compare yourself to others, just to yourself. It's all about being ok with who you are. You don't have to be approved of or perform in order to be ok. You are ok because you are you - and that's ok.
I've had all kinds of people tell me I should be this way or that way - and I'm me, I like who I am and if they don't like you it's their problem. You really need to cop an attitude like that. Be kind, but if they don't like you - that's their problem.
try to eat right, get exercise, get sunlight, sleep - start with the basics. If you aren't sleeping well you are going to have more trouble with depression.
It's hard to know who you can trust and who you can't trust.
You can always trust God with everything, but people cannot always be trusted. I've made the mistake of sharing too much with people myself.
a book that helped me was goodbye to shy - I've always been very shy but I'm doing better. What i noticed is I would focus on the few people that didn't like me instead of the 98-99% of the people who did. Focus on the people who are kind to you - who like you and don't worry about the rest.
Assume people like you, and go around thinking you are liked. It's this self - talk - you probably have a lot of negative self-talk.
Can you trust your parents? You probably should tell them before talking to a stranger.
I would take it a day at a time and try to get some exercise and see if things get better and if it doesn't then get help. I'm reluctant to tell people to get professional help because I know if they do they're tagged as mentally ill and are stuck with that tag all their days which is something you don't want. But if you need to do that then do it. Plus pills don't fix everything. Sometimes you have to grieve the losses you have and that takes time.
i SI too and im so glad you decided to take this step its a very important one, anyway you could just be like
can i talk to you --
--she will say sure
then you could be like i get down a lot and i do things, not suicidal things but things...
----this will start the conversation
hope this helps i would love to know how it went!!! feel free to email me from my profile whenever
When a person is feeling this bad, she doesn't know who to trust. When the need to talk comes, you need to find the nearest person you can trust and go for it. (Like this teacher) There is a reason your instinct tells you to trust him, so go for it. He's required to report it. What this means is you will be given a chance to deal with it with some help. If you are at this point, it's gotten to where you need people to back you up. It can be scary, but what's the alternative? Hurting yourself? Killing yourself? In contrast, you can be dealing with your issue and getting it fixed, moving on and know that people are willing to help you. It's part of his job to care, and it sounds like he really does.
You need to approach her kindly, and you could say to her "can I talk to you about something personal?" Start off slowly telling her about how you feel low all the time, and your depressive thoughts. Do not tell her about the self-harm immediately though, you will need to build up trust. As you are 14, she is bound by law to tell your parents if she is worried about your safety, i.e. your self-harming.
Well, wether you confide in her or not is your choice.
But when you get the urge to hurt youself, try holding ice or flicking an elastic band against yourself or somthing.
Dunno why, but it helps.