How can I deal with my roommate being insensitive to my depression?!
Question: When I mentioned I was going to counseling services at my college, he sort of made a joke out of it and said now he wants to get counseling so "maybe I can get prescription meds!" This really hurt me; he knows I've been on meds. There's nothing glamorous about it at all, and I would give anything not to have my depression and anxiety, and now this is just making things worse. I wish I confronted him harder when it happened, but now it's kind of too late. How can I deal with this situation so I don't dwell so long on it?
Answers: When I mentioned I was going to counseling services at my college, he sort of made a joke out of it and said now he wants to get counseling so "maybe I can get prescription meds!" This really hurt me; he knows I've been on meds. There's nothing glamorous about it at all, and I would give anything not to have my depression and anxiety, and now this is just making things worse. I wish I confronted him harder when it happened, but now it's kind of too late. How can I deal with this situation so I don't dwell so long on it?
There are two problems: your roommate is pretty insensitive, but you're feeling very sensitive b/c of your depression. So you are now feeling wounded, thinking about what you could have done differently, possibly thinking about the future and how you're going to manage your feelings about this... and that's where the money's at in my opinion.
Yes, he's insensitive. When you are feeling better, though, his insensitivity will not bother you as much, plus you'll be able to say a fantastic comeback and maybe put him in his place (and/or make him feel crappy about how insensitive he's being). Or maybe you'll just be able to talk to him about it without feeling so wounded. Either way, don't be too hard on yourself about not knowing what to do right now.
As far as dealing with him day-to-day, just focus on setting some limits (have a few things you feel you can say, like, "I don't want to talk about it right now" or even "thanks a lot!") and getting out of the room. In your current state, you risk focusing some of your emotional needs on him, and he's going to really have way too much power to hurt you if you do that. Plus, roommate relationships are so touchy anyway. He's probably a little freaked out about what's happening with you and this is his clumsy way of dealing with it.
I'm glad you are getting treatment, and don't worry, you will have another chance to defend yourself. :)
Is it possible that you are misinterpreting his comment, because you are depressed?
Maybe he was trying to make a joke to show that he accepted you as you are, and to show that meds are OK. My husband makes a lot of jokes and they really hurt me sometimes because I misinterpret them due to my depression. A lot of guys have clueless social skills. If he hasn't been making direct, derogatory comments about your depression, then I suspect he was just trying to be buddies with you, and his joke fell like a lead balloon. Honestly, when I have bad depression symptoms, I usually interpret things in a way that makes it look like EVERYONE hates me and doesn't care.
Your roommate is just an inconsiderate jerk. Ignore his stupid comments.
You are doing the right thing for yourself by getting help and don't feel bad about it. Of course its not fun to have depression and anxiety. Just think of it this way, if you had migraines or constant colds or anything else, you'd be good to yourself and go to the doctor and get help. You keep doing what you're doing and somehow learn to just ignore the idiots around you.
And maybe get a new roommate next year.
Its just a fact that if somebody hasn't been through it, they can never know exactly how you feel, and then they may not. Also no problem is as important to anybody as the person who has it. I would suggest that you make one of the things you discuss at your next counseling session is your roomates indifference to your depression and how not to dwell on it.
maybe u took it the wrong way cuz ur depressed. he was probably showin u meds r ok. dont be hurt
Don't worry about your roommate. Just focus on you taking care of yourself. Don't share what you are going through with him. Maybe he thinks people get high on the drugs they take. I would ignore him about these issues.