How do I learn to be less emotional?!
Question: I don't know whether I am naturally born like this. Pple tell me I m too emotional. For example, I cry if someone who used to talk to me ignore me totally, I laugh at little happy things that I picture in my head when I have free time. I get agitated easily by pple who 'betray' my trust in small things like games/chores.
Pple in my class (back in school) told me that it's ok to be a bit emotional cos i m a girl. However if I keep it up, pple would be scared away and I won't have any friends.
All along I thought I was being true to my feelings. Showing it as they come up is natural. I am not the type that hide it till I explode.
However it's true enough that I have like no close friend. I don't think anyone I know would come to my aid if I get into trouble.
Someone told me that if I want to have more friends, I need to learn how to ignore things pple do to me and how not to take offense (to a limit).
Is this true? Is there a way to simply ignore and don't get affected?
Answers: I don't know whether I am naturally born like this. Pple tell me I m too emotional. For example, I cry if someone who used to talk to me ignore me totally, I laugh at little happy things that I picture in my head when I have free time. I get agitated easily by pple who 'betray' my trust in small things like games/chores.
Pple in my class (back in school) told me that it's ok to be a bit emotional cos i m a girl. However if I keep it up, pple would be scared away and I won't have any friends.
All along I thought I was being true to my feelings. Showing it as they come up is natural. I am not the type that hide it till I explode.
However it's true enough that I have like no close friend. I don't think anyone I know would come to my aid if I get into trouble.
Someone told me that if I want to have more friends, I need to learn how to ignore things pple do to me and how not to take offense (to a limit).
Is this true? Is there a way to simply ignore and don't get affected?
Hi,
First, there's nothing wrong with the way you are. Many of us are built in a very sensitive way. I like to say that my heart is so big, I have to tuck it in sometimes so it's not so easily bumped into.
There are some skills you can practice that will help you respond in a more socially acceptable manner, but, like I said, it's important as you make these changes to remind yourself that there is nothing wrong with you.
Use a "Norm Scale" with a rating from 1-10, with 10 being like a Mount Vesuvious eruption. Take the opportunity to begin journaling just a few words about events throughout the day and for each one, mark where on your scale from 1-10 was your response. Then ask yourself, what would a average/normal response be from most people? It's also okay to invite others you trust to give you feedback.
So, if you had your feelings hurt in a game for instance, and your response was an 8 and you felt that an average/normal response would have been a 2, ask yourself, "What would a "2" look like?" Practice this enough and I guarantee you it will work.
Peace,
Dave Turo-Shields, Expert Therapist
Did you know you can now get help online or by phone? http://www.CounselingPros.com
It is good to express your feelings but sometimes if you are too emotional, it isnt a good thing. Suppose your friends are joking around with you - Dont take it personally, just make a joke about it and move on.
We all have to make sacrifices, its easy!
You're probably just an extra sensitive person. There are alot of people like that. Try not to take people's remarks too seriously. It is good to not hold your feelings in, but try not to do it in front of every one.
Too emotional, I would say. What seems to be the pressing issue is no one will ever be good enough for you. "betray' your trust over a game or chores. Holy Crap, how could anyone have a lasting friendship with you if you get betrayed over a game. Betrayl is a big deal but not over little stuff, peopel have to be free to be able to make mistake and if you label it as betrayal, you have done a great job of unloading some guilt. Lower the bar, stop qualifying people that can meet your expectation to be your friend. People can overlook some of the emotions as long as your not blaming them for them.