Hey, i was abused my whole childhood from 6yrs old till 14yrs old ???!
Question: Hey, ever since i spoke out about this to my partner my life has turned upside down i keep stealing from my loved ones and i lie all the time i dont mean to it just comes out i dont know what to do anymore, hes on the blink of leaving me, i don't want that to happen, its like cus my dad abused me all them years i feel like everyone else i love will too, so i feel i have to hurt them first before they do it to me. Im so scared of being alone please please someone help me??
Answers: Hey, ever since i spoke out about this to my partner my life has turned upside down i keep stealing from my loved ones and i lie all the time i dont mean to it just comes out i dont know what to do anymore, hes on the blink of leaving me, i don't want that to happen, its like cus my dad abused me all them years i feel like everyone else i love will too, so i feel i have to hurt them first before they do it to me. Im so scared of being alone please please someone help me??
Hi,you need to get some professional help hunni,this is messing up your life,and it needs to be sorted now.Maybe ask your partner to go to a counsellor with you,that way he can help you deal with your problems and understand more WHY you do the things you do.It is an awful thing your dad did,and i can see why you feel the need to hurt before being hurt yourself,you should be able to trust your parents, sadly this is not always the case.It will take a while to get your self straight but the one thing you need to do first is understand it was not your fault ,your dad was the bad one ,not you ,ffs you were just a kid and he took advantage of that.Tell your partner you want to get help and you really need him with you right now.If you ever want to i m me please feel free to OK,keep in touch and let me know how things go .xx
you are the only one who can change yourself. You cant blame your past for your future actions, even it what happened was bad, so you have to be hard on yourself.
The first step was in acknowledging your behavior. You can't fix what you won't acknowledge. If you can seek counseling then do so. It will help out greatly. You need to speak to someone about the abuse anyway.
you cannot blame your past for what you do now. So stop doing that. take responsibility for yourself, you are who you are now because it is who you choose to be. If you don't like who you are, then only you can change that. You might benefit from some cognitive behavioral therapy. Bottom line, as an adult, you and you alone are responsible for what you do.
You sound like you desparately need someone to talk to.
See your GP and see if he will refer you for counselling.
It is understandable that you have "trust" issues.
You need extended counseling.
A good support group for "people who have been abused" could help you to get this out, and make you feel better.
By acting out.....you are really hurting yourself!
You need to get control, before you get arrested.
The abused person feels guilty, dirty, unworthy, unloved, insecure.
The abuser is the guilty one!!!
You need a professional to talk to, to help you deal with it. My ex was sexually abused at 15 as a babysitter, never told no one for quite a while. She never stuck with her counselors, never talked about it. Today she is 38 years old, parties like a rock star, been fired from almost every job she had, 2 divorces, We have our son (15) she doesn't see him much (her choice). Can you see how this can screw you up? Get help now.
There are people out there who can help. You really should talk to a councelor about this. If you are not sure of where to find one and/or if money is an issue look in the phone book for a crisis intervention hotline, or for social services. Something like that. They can help you find someone with rates on a sliding scale, or possibly even no cost services. You're father has done enough damage already. Take the next step and let it end here. Good luck!
Tell everything you said now to your husband and im sure he will help you out instead of leaving you. He was probably shocked when you told him just give him some time to get over it. It wasnt your fault your dad abused you so dont punish yourself by hurting those around you. You will need some psychiatrist help to get over the abuse. But you are well on your way to recovery because you were brave enough to tell someone about this. Most people keep it a secret all their lives. Whatever happens at least its not a big secret anymore and you can get help. Once you told one person it mught be a little easier to talk about it and open up to people.
Bring that statement to a psychologist if you're really willing to change it. Being abused is one thing, maintaining you're the helpless victim is something completely different.
I am so sorry about your childhood. You are not at fault at all for that. You are a victim and did nothing to deserve a bit of it. You have been betrayed by those who you should have been able to trust and that has set you up for all types of behavioral problems.
First of all, you must get some good solid counseling. If you can't afford that then join codependents anonymous or any 12 step program that fits your life and meet with some people just like you that won't judge you at all. You will find that your reactions are just your attempt to find boundaries and balance in life.
Lastly, but not least important, get into a church where you can get spiritual help. Learning that you should have no guilt in your past and can be set free from all your crazy thoughts will change your life forever. People at church are not hypocrites, they are just like you and me. We all know that we could have been the one with your past as well. We all have our own issues. You are never alone--just reach out and good things will happen.
Good luck and email me if you need to.
hey there. not gonna turn this into a big confession session.as a young boy i was abused physically by my dad and ended up spending a lot of time with an old bloke who i thought was my friend til he sexually abused me for a couple of years from the age of eleven. just told my girlfriend recently and she has been really cool about it. its obvious that youre gonna have real problems trusting people especially men just like i did. and yeah i always dumped girls before they dumped me to avoid being hurt by someone i loved. im 32 now and have reckon im only just truly over it and able to look back and put it down to experience. ive forgiven my dad but i wouldnt piss on the other guy if he was in flames. i can say that without anger though, its just not worth getting wound up about. i think youve taken the first step towards getting sorted by being willing to tell someone and by actively seeking advice. i dont know your age and cant understand the stealing lying thing as i never felt like that. but your entitled to feel messed up. maybe professional help is the way forward but unless you can learn to trust then relationships are going to be hard work. i could always manage a few months but as soon as i felt that person having any deep effect on me i just pushed them away sometimes being really horrible to them in the process. i'd say quit the stealing and quit the lying but dont know if its that easy. you trust your partner or you wouldnt have told him. hes obviously willing to work through your emotional problems but he needs the truth. the stealing will just be embarrassing for him and people have no sympathy for a thief where they would have for a girl whose father is a scumbag. the lying will slowly undermine the trust you obviously have. we have few enough genuine friends in the world so i hope you dont screw up so many relationships as i did. keep your chin up and good luck