How can i help my best friend overcome her mental health problem?!
Question: my best friend has just split up from her boyfriend and says she cant live without him! literally! on her bebo shes going on about committing sucicide! shes depressed and she self harms alot as well! im relli worried about her but i dunno how to help her overcome her problem? i want to talk to her about it but i need something strong to say first?? can someone help me???
thanks xxx
Answers: my best friend has just split up from her boyfriend and says she cant live without him! literally! on her bebo shes going on about committing sucicide! shes depressed and she self harms alot as well! im relli worried about her but i dunno how to help her overcome her problem? i want to talk to her about it but i need something strong to say first?? can someone help me???
thanks xxx
Hi Chloe
The best thing you can do is let your friend know that you are there for her and you will listen if she wants to talk. Or as someone else said, she may just be glad of the company, which will be a support for her.
She needs to know that someone around still cares about her.
It is good if she can be honest about her suicidal feelings, it isn't true that people who talk about it don't actually do it - that is just a myth! Try not to ignore the subject or avoid it if she does want to talk about it, you asking her about it or having a discussion will not upset her anymore than she already is, she may well find it a relief that she can express these feelings. For some people being able to tell someone how badly they feel and what they want to do is enough to change their minds.
Try these links to the Mind website, you should find them useful -
How to help someone who is suicidal:
http://www.mind.org.uk/Information/Boo...
Understanding self harm:
http://www.mind.org.uk/Information/Boo...
the information is easy to read and understand and will give you some practical tips on ways to help.
Again, talking about her self harm, isn't going to make her go and do it more - she may find some comfort in someone who listens and tries to understand the pain she feels that makes her want to harm herself. Ask her how it helps her, does it make her feel in control of something, is she punishing herself... these are some of the reasons a person does this.
If you can encourage her to seek medical help as well, that would be a good thing to do. Maybe you could offer to go with her to see her GP, it might help if she has support to do it.
My other suggestion would be to contact your local mental health charity:
http://www.mind.org.uk/Mind+in+your+ar...
they are easy to access and much less formal than the health services. They have lots of knowledge and understanding and will be able to offer help, support and guidance.
Hope this helps.
Take care and good luck to you both.
ask her to go see a counsellor, and be her shoulder to cry on when she needs it, otherwise not much because a broken heart needs to heal itself
Sometimes in these situations the best thing you can do is encourage her to talk to a professional. Be a friend but let the experts do the talking. That way she has someone to have some good times with and others to do the hard work of counselling with.
I speak from personal experience.
It`s the ones that don`t tell people they are going to do it that end up doing so your friend is in need of attention she`s crying out for help or trying to make he boy friend feel guilty so he comes back . grow up and get a life.e
just talk to her...she will get over the boyfriend...if she is serious about suicide...you need to get her professional help....there are problems here that need serious attention if what you say is true....just stay her friend and be there when she needs you...with meds and maybe therapy she will get better but it will take time...suicide is not the answer...sure she'll be dead but the people she leaves will suffer for the rest of their lives....my son-in-law did this...we will hurt us for the rest of our lives
Heart-break affects everyone in different ways but if she's threatening suicide and harming herself, it's more serious than just crying and comfort-eating, like most resort to.
You should try to talk to her. Make sure she knows that you're always there for her to talk to if she feels she wants to talk and have a shoulder to cry on. Don't make her feel like she's alone and don't probe her with questions. Let her come to you but let her know you're there when she's ready to talk. Maybe you should suggest her seeing a counsellor? If she's self-harming and threatening suicide, she really needs to tell someone.
Alternatively, you could tell someone. If you're at school, tell a trusted friendly teacher that your friend gets along well with and keep it confidential - your friend doesn't have to know you told a teacher. They will know what steps to take next.
Good Luck x
Helping a friend that you really care about doesnt have to be rehearsed. You care alot sometimes the strongest thing to say is how important she is to you, and how you feel about her friendship. Sometimes feeling wanted and loved is all a person who feels suicidal needs, right now she is probably feeling alone, and worthless. my friend recently went through the same thing i felt the same way, only i do the same things i felt so weird trying to help her when i couldnt help myself. Everyday i reminded her that i was still there for her , when i wasnt enough i talked her into talking about her emotions, she needed help out of my controal. if your friend is serious about killing herself the best thing to do would be to save her life by speaking out. Trust me she is talking so she wants someone to save her.
I had a similar thing with my daughter and it's terrible for both your friend and you, but I would suggest you:-
Just be there for her.
Sit quietly the company is all she needs.
Listen to her and let her cry if she needs to.
She's broken hearted, hearts do mend, they just take time.
Be upfront with her ask why she's self harming and give suggestions on how to avoid her from doing it.
Think of something funny you've done, she will laugh even if for a short time.
If you're really worried suggest she she's a doctor, they will give her lots of help, they were brill with my daughter.
Things don't change over night, it just takes time, and many nights sat up laughing and crying, but the best thing she has at the moment is you, please don't give up hope, she will get better, and you will be stronger friends. Good luck
Tell her you love her, and let her know you need her!
Suicide is a very selfish act and there are other people in her life that would be effected by her decission.
Tell her she needs to go to see a therypist because you want her to. If she does nothing as a friend it is your responibilty to tell her parents or a school counselor, let them see her Bebo sight. She might be mad at you at first but it could save her life. Just my two cents...
Do not say everything happens for a reason. That is the dumbest thing anyone can say in any circumstance. Just be there for her. If you can spend the next couple nights at her house with her. Just let her talk and cry, there's no need to say anything because anything you say won't matter to her right now. Only after she has cried for a while ask her if she wants to talk to a professional. Suggesting it now is pointless because at this point she firmly believes no one has ever hurt like she is hurting now. Pack a bag bring over a pizza and ice cream and let her cry to you.
she needs medical attention right away. she needs some tranquillisers. and counselling as well.
It's very hard for her to commit going to councellor. Because it is hard for her to admit. Just be with her. Show your availability to your friend. And don't stand in a way when she talks and does all those things. For that find other activities, so you won't be dependant on her. Some tricks might help as well. When in conversation repeat her hands movements. This way she will start taking seriously what you say. And also never dismiss what she says. You ll find better ways to express your concern to your friend. Hope she will be fine.
Be careful I know this is your best friend but remember to look after yourself as well babe. Just be there for her when she wants to talk don't force her into talking to you, she will come round in her own time. You can tell her you are worried about her and let her know that you are there for her and will listen to her and try help her if she wants to talk. I don't know if she is involved with any support services if she isn't then maybe you could find out whats available near you's and show her some information about them. She will have to want to get better and help herself first before she can get any better. It can be very frustrating and draining on friends at times like this so please keep yourself safe and make sure you have someone to talk to as well good luck to you and your friend best wishes
All you can do is be there for her. If she agrees go see a doctor with her. Given time she'll get over this boy but in the meantime she probably feels like she cant go on without him. Its really normal to feel that way after a break up and it takes time to get over it. Just keep an eye on her and watch for any drastic change in her behaviour. Try not to get to swept up in it tho. You dont need to be dragged down. You need your own space sometimes too. xxxxxxxxxx