Why do people assume mentally ill parents are incapable of looking after childre!
Question: I mean there are different levels of mental illnesses and some are capable and some are not. People assume once someone is diagnosed mentally ill they should be whisked away to the hospital or something. Parents CAN look after children if they have a mental illness as long as they take their medication reguarly. My mum is mentally ill and she is doing a great job of taking care of me and my sister and she acts like any normal person, but since people know she is mentally ill they take her like a fool and that makes me mad.
Your views?
Thanks
Answers: I mean there are different levels of mental illnesses and some are capable and some are not. People assume once someone is diagnosed mentally ill they should be whisked away to the hospital or something. Parents CAN look after children if they have a mental illness as long as they take their medication reguarly. My mum is mentally ill and she is doing a great job of taking care of me and my sister and she acts like any normal person, but since people know she is mentally ill they take her like a fool and that makes me mad.
Your views?
Thanks
No family is perfect. Each family has it's own sets of challenges and dysfunctions. It's those hurdles that make us the people we become. Often, it is the mental illnesses that go untreated that are giving all mentally ill parents a bad name.
It's extremely rare for a mentally ill parent to actually harm their child. Why do you think it gets on the news? I think that I would be more frightened of the outside world if shootings, etc were no longer reported. That would mean that there are so many that it's not even "news." So, when a parent loses their grip on reality and drowns all their children in the bathtub, well, then it's big news.
I, too, have a mentally ill parent. She is notorious for seeming to go off her meds (but really, it's her meds going off her). For whatever reason, her drugs stop working after a while, then she goes nutty. I'm not talking about a little episode here, either. I'm talking about her deciding to take all the money out of her bank, buy a giant diamond ring, then move to Utah and fornicate with an entire town. I'm pretty tired of having the police call me, to be honest. After an episode like that, she'll be forced to go back to the mental hospital for a month or two (police orders) until the doctors can figure out the right balance of drugs for her.
When she is on her meds, she is the most wonderful, intelligent and compassionate person in the world. She's highly educated. Everybody loves her. Growing up, it was just a little erratic behavior here and there.... thank God all of us kids were over 18 (my youngest brother just barely) before she started really going off the deep end. There were times when I was younger when I thought she had no business raising a child. If it hadn't been for close friends and family, we would have been taken away (especially after she tried to sell one of my brothers to a band of invisible gypsies that lived in our front yard...).
Anyway, don't tell people she's mentally ill. Not even your best friend. It is none of their business and kids WILL tell secrets no matter how convincing they are. Don't give people ammunition against you. Your mother can tell people if she wants to. Here is a life lesson for you. NEVER tell people anything that has to do with someone else, even if it directly affects you. Ever. Doing this will save you a lot of grief.
It really depends on what type of mental illness she has. My mom is Schizophrenic, Sociopathic and has severe manic episodes. You name the drug, I bet she's taken it.... She really IS nuts, but that's no one's fault. Love your mom regardless. Don't let other people tell you how to run your life. Oh, and keep a close eye on your little sister. Having a mentally ill parent will sometimes make it necessary for you to step in as a parent to younger siblings (I've got 3 younger brothers, by the way) and they pretty much think of ME as their mom. Be prepared for that responsibility.
Get a good education. Get a good job. Set yourself up so that you can afford to take care of your mom and younger sister if you have to. Start saving money right away.
What is it with you and Assumptions today?
I believe they call it stigma. When people label people because of mental illness or physical disability.
You sound like a very loving and caring family. Good for you. Of course people with mental illness can care for children. Some may need a bit more suppport but a blanket assumption is so wrong.
The people who assume that are predjudist. It isn't fair and it may be because one person who abused a kid was mentally ill. So according to some people therefore all mentally ill people must be like that. NOT TRUE. though it does sometimes depend how mentally ill. Some may be able to with some assistance.
Um, have you heard about Britney Spears lately??
No further explanation needed
so true i believe that people should come from the perspective of the children and that they need there mum and dad
I don't think that people think that they can't take care of their children, but are concerned for the children if the person forgets their meds etc. depending on the situation. It is purly out of percaution for the kids. there are a lot of mantaly ill mothers who HAVE turned on their kids, so it is a percaution, and care, that's all.
Your mom has obviously done a wonderful job raising you. I would be proud to have such a socially conscious daughter.Good for the both of you.
Ignorance. How many parents with mental illness are there in the UK at the moment, successfully bringing up children? Thousands.
Beacuse it is a "hostoric" opinion from the late 1800's to the mid 19th century where even perfectly sane women could be incarcerated just because they got pregnant before they got married and even today there is a general ignorance of Mental ill-health which is not helped by the media with the sensationalist headlines they use. which gives rise to the opinion that mentally ill people shoud be locked up and castrated "for their own sake".
I believe parents can do a good job being parents if they have mental problems as long as they take their medications and are monitored by their doctors and remain stable.
Unfortunately it is still not a good idea to reveal personal problems of this nature to people that do not have a clue.
everyone has said enough
yeh as you said mental illness comes in different doses, some are worse than others i mean aslong as your taking the right medicine at the right times , why shouldn't you have the right to be with your children?? it helps aswell if the children are old enough to understand what is going on around them so it's easier. As someone said Britney Spears before, she's got young children and is always in and out of hospital it's people in Britneys case that perhaps should not be in full time supervision of there children as she is suffereing from a bad case of it, with out the support of her loving family around her. Your mum's lucky enough to have you and your sister helping her through it and understand. xxxxxxx
our society has been raised thinking that anyone with mental illiness..should be in a hospital...it is just starting to come to light that some of these illness are very easy to fix.....some people are just plain stupid about the issues...Yahoo has alot of good people on here that have mental issues and are not afraid to admit it....set them straight...they need to know the real issue...put them in their place...i guarntee you that if the tables were turned they would hollar too......
I think the real issue is overdiagnosis of mental illness in America; its really disgusting, almost everyone is on some meds and most probably dont need it, so sure there are tons of highly functioning people on medication. Now, your mom is probably a wonderful person and people shouldn't be so judgemental, but I think it is in the best interest of a child to be a bit skeptical of someone with a mental illness when it comes to child care (believe it or not, a parents attitude affects children greatly my bf's family is a good example, his mother has a mood disorder and her sons often reflect her negative attitude; her son is also bi-polar.); but this should only be between her and professionals, your neighbors and friends dont have a right to criticize your mom.
would you let a mental patient babysit your kids??? think not...my mums not exactly what you would call sane an im still recovering frrom spending 15 years of my life with her
Dont listen to those ignornt people, My father is like that, and he is doing just fine on raising me, and I do get angry about it when people say mean things like what most have already said on here.
well done you!! I think your mum should be proud of you, and I think you's all sound lovely. It is very true that people with a mental illness can look after children I would rather leave my kids with your mum than some of the stupid idiots on here who has there stupid assumptions.unfortunately thats life and there is so many ignorant people in this world xx
As you can see, the stigma's is great against mental illness. I have a relative who has mental illness, and with medication which he always takes, he is the most loving, kindness gentle person I know. Right now I am taking classes on mental illness and learning how to deal with the stigmatism and trying very hard to change the way people always thing about mental illness. It makes me very sad to see the way people react when you tell them someone has a mental illness, just like in a lot of your replies here. I think your mom is probably doing a terrific job and will always be a great mom, especially with a daughter like you. Keep the faith.
Thank you for sharing your thoughts, opinions and concerns. I am a mentally ill mom who takes meds regularly and has regular therapy. I struggle with this stigma alot. The truth is that in some ways I am a better mom than most because I deal with my issues head on instead of pretending they don't exist. I congratulate you for supporting your mom and I congratulate your mom on her succesful treatment of her illness.
I am one of the moms out there with mental illness.
Today I am medicated appropriately, and function like anyone else.
Before I received treatment, I cared for my kids, too. But today I recognize and have regrets of my behavior and sadness as the children speak of a mom who had:
Mood swings and anger
inability to make decisions
inability at times to reason
was not fully aware of kids behavior
at times was too depressed to respond when needed
was easily confused
had memory problems
had a problem connecting emotionally with others
did not laugh or smile or sing
little contact with the world outside my house
Yes, I functioned as a mother. I was there in the house with them, and I drove them where and when needed, I cooked their meals, I refereed their squabbles, I baked them cookies, daily read them stories.
Other people viewed me as a "good mom", sought my advice.
Only in hindsight do I look back and recognize what I was lacking. Medication for my depression and other issues, and therapy to learn to change and compensate have changed my outlook on life and how I am now better able to function. Some of my grown children fault me, and others think I was a great mom who had problems.
Goodness gracious, look at my children, two of them were hyperactive and not medicated, one was hypersensitive and (as we learned later) multiple personality, and there were two other average children. Many of the years we lived a rather isolated life, without babysitters or grandparents nearby.
I will say that "I and we survived" it just wasn't easy, but we managed the best we could.
Most of the time my parenting abilities were adequate. A couple of years my abilities were less than adequate. Being under Dr.s treatment these days my problems barely show.
You know, what I have to say is that's life. You do what you can, and hope your kids can forgive you for what you can't do.
because they are ignorant and judgemental. i am bipolar, and i take my medication on a regular basis, and i am (in my opinion) a pretty good mom :)
what is most important for a person with a mental illness to remember is to keep all therapy appointments and to always take their meds.
I'm not sure why - 50% of Americans have some sort of mental illness, and I'm pretty sure a lot of them are raising children. I don't know that your assumption is valid. Where would we put all of the children? Like you said, medication controls most of these people - you wouldn't be able to pick them out of a lineup. There is a stigma about people with mental illness, that's why we need to take it upon ourselves to spread the word. This is no different than saying people who have had a heart attack are incapable of raising children or living a normal life. It's an illness, one that can be treated to allow people to live normally.
if they cannot look after themselves they cannot look after someone as dependable as a child
well done 2 your mum she should be proud ...
people like that really are not worth bothering about.. they have no idea!!!!! they have no right 2 comment....
your mum isnt mental; she has a chemical imbalance in her brain.. so it is not your mum ill... its actually her brain..
nobody should ever call anybody who have any sort of illness..
as how do they no how there own will turn out.. like you it makes me me really mad..i have 2 kids and over the past year i have been ill and it was them that kept me going..
hands up to your mum..
In my opinion it really depends on the severity of the handicap. If the parents can't even take care of their own basic needs then no I do not think they should be responsible for a child's. On the other hand if the are capable they I see no problem with it.
I do think that people are wrong for treating your mum differently. Sorry for that.
Well first of all, I thought that this was a really good and thought-provoking question.
I would not make the assumption myself that just because someone who has a mental health condition would be a bad parent. I have bipolar disorder myself, and whilst I am not a parent yet, I hope to be sometime in the future, and would like to think that I would be good at it. I am glad to hear you say that your own mum is making a really good job of it.
I would agree with you about the different levels and how this can have an effect. My mother had schizophrenia and unfortunately couldn't look after me and I grew up mostly in care. Unfortunately back in those days there was more of a stigma about mental illness, and it was often under-diagnosed, or folks didn't take their medication, or the meds weren't as good as they are nowadays. But whilst that is my perspnal experience, I am sure there are other folks with schizophrenia who are great parents. So I definitiely agree with you about the different levels of mental illness having an effect.
I can understand how other folks prejudice towards your mum can make you angry. It used to make me angry when people did it to my mum.
As I say, a really good question.
Nerve/depression and anxiety disorders are all forms of mental illness and are therefore extremely common. There are obviously degrees as to how severe these problems might affect the sufferer, but many people will have suffered from some form of mental illness in their life-time. It obviously depends upon how badly the person is affected, but I suffer with all of the above and yet I am not only providing 24-hour a day care to my profoundly disabled 19-year old son, but |I am also training his community nurse, occupational therapist and clinical psychologist how to support his very complex needs for when the Local Health Board eventually provide him with a day-placement. I have never been deemed unfit to care for him, but both my husband and I would greatly benefit from support to do so.
Because they are simple as that!!!!!!!!!! I would not leave my child with a mentally ill person so why on earth would you think that they would be capable of looking after their own without help.
Um... because they are mental?