Depression issues... how to deal?!


Question: I haven't been to a therapist, I can't afford it right now. I need help but don't know where and how to start. My life is frozen. I tried applying for a job but I just couldn't do it. I'm lonely. My husband is a truck driver and he's away for a few days. We just moved into this area a couple of months ago. It's been hard to make friends. I guess I'm the problem. I wanted to smile again one day and be happy. How to deal with that? Can I have hope?


Answers: I haven't been to a therapist, I can't afford it right now. I need help but don't know where and how to start. My life is frozen. I tried applying for a job but I just couldn't do it. I'm lonely. My husband is a truck driver and he's away for a few days. We just moved into this area a couple of months ago. It's been hard to make friends. I guess I'm the problem. I wanted to smile again one day and be happy. How to deal with that? Can I have hope?

Moonlight you mentioned that you tried applying for a job. That would be a good way to get out of the house, meet new people and make new friends.

You have to realize that you have to make the effort. A therapist cannot help you either if you aren't willing to do some work.

Also you can start to help yourself by exercising (it helps you feel great by releasing endorphins and giving you a sense of accomplishment), finding some new hobbies, working on personal development.

You are not helpless or without options. As you can see there are many ways to start. You just have to get moving and take action!

look at it this way,? you have a home, a husband,? and you can walk and talk.? there are plenty of things to be thankful for,? create a list of the things you are blessed with.? sounds like you are feeling sorry for yourself (I do it all the time),? so hold your head high and appreciate more often.

About the job...
it never hurts to try. Get dressed up, and feel confident about yourself. You probably have a lot to offer, and you will feel better about yourself for trying. Even if you do not see results right away. Keep trying!

About the way you feel inside...
This may be something you have heard before... but it is definately true. God really can change your outlook on life, and he really can heal you emotionally as well as physically (even mental health problems). First of all... we have to give Him a chance. Please understand that He has a purpose for you (Jeremiah 29:11)... and know that if you accept Jesus into your life, He will give you the authority as a Christian to "take every thought captive" (2 Corinthians 10:5). Then you can give negative/painful feelings to God. He can then bless your life with hope and peace (Romans 15:13). I think we make a relationship with Jesus too complicated. Just think of prayer this way... like you are talking to your best friend... someone who understands you... and who knows what is "best" for you. I like to write to vent my frustrations sometimes. I even write out my prayers sometimes...it helps to sort everything out. And honestly, there are things we face that cause pain in life. Satan is real... the Message Bible says it like this; Jesus speaking: "A thief is only there to steal and kill and destroy. I came so they can have real and eternal life, more and better life than they ever dreamed of." (John 10:10). Things do get better. We do heal. We do gain strength for the journey ahead. We do move on. And we do have awesome things to look forward to... even if we cannot see it right now. Sometimes you just have to fight through stuff. If you have a Bible, read Psalm 139. Or look it up on Biblegateway.com. This chapter has helped me a lot in the past. This is how I combat depression... & I don't allow it to control my life. I wish you the best!

Find a way to afford a therapist. He/she doesn't need to be a doctor. There are inexpensive family therapists in most communities that charge a third of what most psychologists do.

Also speak with your regular doctor. He/she can prescribe medication for you if your therapist isn't a psychiatrist. This can really help. Excellent success rate. Didn't work on me but most have very good results.

I can also tell you that working out will make you feel better. This can be the best anti-depressant. I hate working out, but the increased energy, weight loss and natural chemicals created when working out can change everything for many people.

Don't rule out self help programs either. Some books, videos, audio can really turn things around for you too. If you can create a habit that promotes a healthier way of thinking, you might feel a lot better. That's what it really comes down to. You might be blaming yourself for something, not letting go of something or any of a thousand things that you might not even realize that you are doing could be the source of all of your problems. Identify that and you will probably feel better.

Best of luck to you.

Depression can become a real problem

You can begin to become destructive
pushing people away to test them and they dont come back

then the mood swings grow more and more extreme
you stop sleeping normally
and eating normally

then you lose respect for yourself

is like getting into an elevator that only goes down

Do some simple things
get a puppy or adopt a house broken dog
they are great friends females labs
or lab mixes are awesome friends

Get a fish tank learn to raise specific fish
WARNING dont get a male and female BLACK CONVICT
you'll have 4-5000 of them in 1 year


African cichlids (sick-lids)are great
4 different lakes sources (don't mix lakes)
and many types and colors

They are also very friendly and seem near intelligent at times
they also are territorial and the disputes over who gets this
hole under a rock are fun to observe
You can even learn to bred them how long they have grow
what egg spots mean on tail why are male and females different colors .. etc and sell the fry back to store for food and accessories( rarely get cash) or trade for different fish

takes about 30 mins a day to care for tank spred out over
morning and evening 15 min attention
Morning refill evaporated water if any
check filters for normal flow
check tank for signs of diseases on fish
or signs of fights where fish may be bleeding

evening Feed and recheck tank
any other time spent is by intent

TV sux and will bring anyone down
try to minimize TV view during the day

Try to take a walk at nite before eating
usually a casual stroll for 30 mins
wave to the neighbors chat if they start it up
pet the neighborhood friendly dogs
over a few weeks they will looking forward to you
strolling by
If you get or have a dog dont take yours with you
the walk is YOUR time to meet the neighbors and thier pets
not start a dog war on leashes

BINGO nite sounds old fashioned but really a simple low cost
entry to play dont go crazy and play 100 cards
talk to people maybe win something
no matter who you are BINGO is fun unless nothing is ever fun

Go to car auctions in your area
should be 2 at least every month
1st is Police Impound auction
2nd is dealer auction

watch the system learn about cars what they are worth and how to get them cheap .. hubby will get interested and want to tag along will improve those home days

If you are not going to work and have no kids
try riding along for a short trip like a 2-3 day turnaround
after 3 days in a semi you will appreciate the couch more

Every day when get up go to a mirror and look in it
and ask yourself am I going to enjoy today or what?

It doesn't always has to be a therapist or psychiatric helping you out - is there a psychiatric nurse where you live? Most important is that you have someone who'll listen to you and understands you.
You're not the problem! You've just got into circumstances you can't deal with right now - but maybe later!
Is it possible where you live to join courses or associations? What are your interests? Don't let the unavailability of your husband be a reason not to live your own life! Take it as an opportunity to discover your self and the surroundings at your place. Do you have children? If so, are there other parents you can join in school meetings etc. What about the neighbours? Visit them and ask for help with something ( fake some thing's broken or stucked or whatever ) in your house or apartment.
You'll be happy again, I'm sure! Just try to widen your imagination and avoid think " I'll never will....I can't.....It won't.....". You will...., You can.... and you will.....!





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