Please help me help my ill daughter....?!
Question: My daughter has been diagnosed with depression and is on medication. But it doesnt seem to be helping. She is slowly withdrawing from everyone and everything around her. She seems as if she is a bit paranoid and declares that she has no feelings. She doesnt seem to be able to get pleasure from anything, and doesnt want to join groups, do sport, meet people she says she has no energy. She is always suggesting that she may have a terminal disease, and i even took her to a Dr. for a total check up, just to ease her mind - all came back clear. She seems over -focused on her health. She also focuses alot on how she looks,and even though she is beautiful, she says she is ugly. I try to talk to her calmly about her feelings but she wont open up. My method of parenting her is to bolster her self esteem as often as possible, and I never "push" her to do things she doesnt want to do.I always try to say i luv her and that she is special. I never pick on her or degrade her. Any ideas?
Answers: My daughter has been diagnosed with depression and is on medication. But it doesnt seem to be helping. She is slowly withdrawing from everyone and everything around her. She seems as if she is a bit paranoid and declares that she has no feelings. She doesnt seem to be able to get pleasure from anything, and doesnt want to join groups, do sport, meet people she says she has no energy. She is always suggesting that she may have a terminal disease, and i even took her to a Dr. for a total check up, just to ease her mind - all came back clear. She seems over -focused on her health. She also focuses alot on how she looks,and even though she is beautiful, she says she is ugly. I try to talk to her calmly about her feelings but she wont open up. My method of parenting her is to bolster her self esteem as often as possible, and I never "push" her to do things she doesnt want to do.I always try to say i luv her and that she is special. I never pick on her or degrade her. Any ideas?
Sounds like you are doing the right thing. You have established a therapeutic relationship with your daughter which is evident (as she is expressing her feelings). 15 is a hard age for a girl, there are so many changes going on, physically, emotionally, socially, spiritually, and sexually. If possible school counsellors are great to chat with and they will make referals to appropriate people if necessary, however she may not wish to see a councellor at her school (unfortunately the is a stigma associated with M.H and teenage girls being what they are may mean she is not comfortable with this). Her depression treated with medication and re-enforced with psychological therapy should help. It is important to realise however that most SSRI's (most commonly used type of anti-depressant) take a while to work... variable on the drug sometimes 3 months. (also remember to monitor her compliance for the medication as ceasing medication without reducing dose, or missing doses can have major adverse effects) Although it is hard, hang in there and keep doing what you are doing.
sounds like you are doing a good job. depression is a mind disease, it isnt just emotions. Your daughter is dealing with a lot and the fact that she is expressing how she feels is a good sign; its a big deal that she is opening up.
I would tell you to keep doing what you are doing, make sure she is taking her meds and give them time to work. depression even without treatment is a disease that eventually resolves. Just stay active in her life. She will get through it and I know she appreciates knowing you are there for her
take her to a psycologist and they should evaluate her in order to know wut u can do to help..... and even once its done, have her see them until a few months later... but dont harass her... introduce her to things she likes and remembers maybe =) GOOD LUCK!
Appearance insecurity is quite normal in women of any age these days, try to ebb the flow of advertisements filled with skinny models. If her meds don't seem to be working, you'll want to find a different prescription or tweak her current prescription. There's a lot of combinations out there for anti-depressants, and even though I'm not a big believer in medications, there's a lot of options out there. I'd suggest you bring her to a psychologist, a talking doctor instead of a medicine doctor. It sounds like she should be talking a lot of this out and exploring it. Sometimes to heal the wounds you need to go through them and clean them out and challenge the infection so to speak.
If she's in her teens, it's likely the depression will ebb in a few more years, so there's hope to be seen yet.
could be her meds need to be increased or changed. i strongly suggest, you seek a good therapist as meds alone will not make it all better. group therapy may help as well.
talk to her doctor about a different depression medicine. it could be just a phase. how old is she? if it is 12-16ish its probably just a phase, but just keep on encouraging her, complimenting her, and try to do activities with her. bring her grocery/clothing shopping with you, hiking, play tennis, or even just sit down in your living room, while the two of you read books, eventually she'll become more socialble. baby steps.
i wouldn't reccoment ignoring it, but just take things slowly.
I hate to say this, but this might be something you just have to ride out. My mother had the exact same concerns for me when I was seriously depressed, but there was really nothing to be done. Some anti-depressants will make some people lose emotions. It's about finding the right one. As for me, I've tried a lot. Lexapro did just about nothing, Prozac made me downright raging, and I've found that a combo of Cymbalta and Seroquel works for me.
I had very similar problems to your daughter. I never wanted to go anywhere, I had no energy, and to this day I still despise group therapy. For me, this was largely because I was in a foreign state and had no true friends, and hated even looking out the window and seeing a sky that wasn't in California. There may be sources outside her own mind and chemical imbalances that cause her depression. Look for those.
Other than that, all you can really do is tell all her symptoms to a psychiatrist, and try to find someone she can open up to. I strongly recommend getting a psychiatrist for the meds and a psychologist for talking. But make sure your daughter likes the therapist, I had one that made me cry all the time. Of course there should be a period where it should be mandatory for her to go, because most people don't like the idea of seeing a therapist, but after a while if she really hates the person, you should swich.
Good luck.
obviously she doesn't believe your self-esteem boosts...that is part of being depressed. I would suggest validating her feelings instead...things like I hear you say you are_____ or That must be terrible to think that___. You can not argue with a delusion (a false belief that is not based on facts)it only makes the other person hold onto the delusion more....get her to a therapists or a psychiatrist...they can help more. Also the NAMI organization (national alliance for the mentally ill) has a very good program to help family members of people struggling with mental disorders.
Who diagnosed her with depression? Does she have weight problems? maybe its hypothiroid? You need to get a second opinion on her diagnoses the medication may not be benefiting her, they may be too low of a hormone for her or too high for her weight. Seek other type of help I know for a fact that depression is a very hard thing especially in teens and Young women their are so many thing can trigger this illness. (Ugly friends, death in family, abuse emotionally and physically, wanting to fit into society of a perfect shape girl) Don