How to go about getting help for someone who is addicted to coke?!
Question: a close family member of mine is addicted to coke. he doesn't know that i know he is. but i know some of his close friends and they tell me that he is. from what i researched about cocaine, his attitude matches almost identically.i don't know how to get him help without him freaking out on me or without him hating me. lately, when we get into subject about drugs he gets angry at me and calls me the meanest names he keeps asking me for money, and i give it to him because i know he is living on his own and needs the money to eat and survive. but lately i feel as if the money i have been giving him is going down the drain quite fast. how can i help him before its too late?
Answers: a close family member of mine is addicted to coke. he doesn't know that i know he is. but i know some of his close friends and they tell me that he is. from what i researched about cocaine, his attitude matches almost identically.i don't know how to get him help without him freaking out on me or without him hating me. lately, when we get into subject about drugs he gets angry at me and calls me the meanest names he keeps asking me for money, and i give it to him because i know he is living on his own and needs the money to eat and survive. but lately i feel as if the money i have been giving him is going down the drain quite fast. how can i help him before its too late?
Is this guy an occasional or chronic user? Does he work or go to school? Is his life unmanageable? In other words, does his life revolve around cocaine?
If he's an occasional user, he may only need private addiction counseling or out-patient treatment. If his life is unmanageable, he may require an intervention and residential treatment.
A 28 day treatment doesn't work for cocaine. Cocaine requires a minimum 3 months and follow-up counseling. Narcotics Anonymous (NA) and Cocaine Anonymous (CA) provide self-help and good support.
Addicts are very confrontational and defend their behavior, so he's going to be abusive. This is what we call denial. They will freak out no matter what you say, so be honest. Stay calm and tell him that you're sorry he's upset,.but you're saying it because you care
Don't, under any circumstances give money. He will ask, beg,
demand, lie and manipulate but stand firm. Money only enables him to get deeper into drugs. Give him food, clothes, etc. but never cash.
This is very hard to do, but stay firm. He may plead that he needs money to pay off drug debts and people are after him, but don't bend. Unfortunately, there is no easy way to get someone into treatment but often going into residential treatment can be based on fear of the pressure on the street. He has to hit a bottom.
Don't protect him. Pass this information on to other members of the family. The more pressure he's under, the more likely he'll be receptive to getting help.
Good luck!!
start with an intervention
First you can stop giving him money. In the end, when he either comes to his senses or comes crashing down to a reality that has changed VERY much since he started, he will look back and thank you for what you are trying to do. You could be the only person courageous enough to confront him.
Don't accuse him of anything, just come to him under the auspices of trying to help him. Tell him you are concerned because you love him and you don't want to see anything bad happen to him. Ultimately this is a decision he will have to take, even though it is painful, you may just have to sit back and watch him destroy his own life before he will accept your help. For now, tell him about your concerns and that you will help him get treatment and how much you care.
Good luck.
you are right about the money going ... but it is going up his nose. you can confront him directly in a straight forward but loving way and let him know you think he needs help but it is up to him to take it or not. if he doesn't you need to stop giving him money to help support the addiction. that is called "enabling" and will only keep him in his addiction longer.
if he says no, at least he knows you are there for him when he hits bottom or suffers negative consequences that forces him to look at his addiction for himself. it is a difficult situation and no one way to handle it really. you could also consider an intervention with his loved ones and family. ultimately it is up to him to get the help he needs.
good luck
This is a very tough situation, I'm sure. My suggestion is, try to help him find someone who is a positive influence for him. Things work out differently between teens who are addicted to cocaine, and adults who are addicted. If your loved one is a teenager, try to get him to get out more, meet new people, let him participate in his favorite hobbies, maybe that will keep his mind of cocaine and he'll eventually stop, noticing that it is very dangerous and there's much more to life then getting high. If he is an adult, try to help him figure it out on his own that life is worth more then life threatening drugs and such. You may even want to try therapy. Best of luck to you and your loved one!
- Ninja