Why am i still feeling miserable when i've been getting my life sorted these!
Question: I've had a pretty horrible life thus far and I had very severe depression last year...suicide was very close on more than one occassion.... yet i saw it thru and have slowly started to get something which vaguely looks a bit like a normal life going which has taken a load of effort. I've got a few people in my life I would call friends now, not best buddies or anything but it's early days and it's more than I've been used too. I'm doing some work which is enjoyable and rewarding in it's own way. I've got rid of all the people who were using me etc etc
So why am I feeling like I'm about to go into anothr cycle of depression when the setbacks I've had this week wouldn't have bothered me at all last week?
Do you think I just imagined i was getting better when in fact my life is still an utter mess I'd be better of leaving behind?
Answers: I've had a pretty horrible life thus far and I had very severe depression last year...suicide was very close on more than one occassion.... yet i saw it thru and have slowly started to get something which vaguely looks a bit like a normal life going which has taken a load of effort. I've got a few people in my life I would call friends now, not best buddies or anything but it's early days and it's more than I've been used too. I'm doing some work which is enjoyable and rewarding in it's own way. I've got rid of all the people who were using me etc etc
So why am I feeling like I'm about to go into anothr cycle of depression when the setbacks I've had this week wouldn't have bothered me at all last week?
Do you think I just imagined i was getting better when in fact my life is still an utter mess I'd be better of leaving behind?
Hi
Sorry you're struggling. You say you've had a pretty horrible life thus far so I assume your childhood was difficult too? When children experience trauma, there can be changes in brain wiring (see the work of Alan Shore) that mean that emotional development doesn't happen quite as it should. So, you may have learnt that something bad is going to happen, that good stuff never lasts and if you are getting better, you must prepare now for it to get worse? If you never learnt that you are okay, everything will be okay, as a child, then you can't just magic up that skill now. You may not trust that you truly are okay. It may take a lot of effort and courage to learn. But it is possible with appropriate help. I have a very good therapist who is helping me with coming to terms with my life. They can be difficult to find though. Be mindful that if you try to get help within the mental help system, there are many who just don't get it -that's to do with them, though, so don't feel guilty about needing help, even if someone else is crass enough to say you should just think positive and get over it. Attitude counts for a lot, but in my experience it just isn't possible to think yourself better just like that. It is far too complex and people who say that you can think yourself better have little understanding of what it is like not to have that ability. How can you learn that you are going to be okay, it's okay? It has taken me years and I still struggle a bit, but am much better. I had to experience being okay. It sounds like you have done much already to try to keep safe so you're on the right track. Don't be hard on yourself. You're learning all the time. Best of luck
I don't know... It doesn't make sense does it?
Try asking God for help. http://needhim.org
I doubt that you imagined that you were getting better. If you live in the northern hemisphere, you might be effected by the shorter days and lack of sunshine. This time of year can be really hard on people with depression. Try talking to your doctor. Some medication might help you get through this time. Depression has a lot of "ups and downs", that's just how it is. You just have to be kind to yourself during the downs and hang on till the up comes again. I know it's discouraging, but in time, the downs will be less severe.
Hang in there. Life definitely has ups and downs. It sounds like you've made some great progress, and maybe that progress has made you a little tired in ways you weren't expecting. I think this is normal. Don't be down on yourself, please--there are positives, even in difficult situations.
It sounds like it's time to treat yourself to a nice movie, a good meal, and a good night's sleep. Take it easy on yourself today. Then make sure you're getting all the support you need from your therapist/doctor--it may be time for a visit to hash some of this stuff out.
This frame of mind will pass. Just get the rest and help you need to get through it.
Negative Old thinking/action habits take time to repair as you have literally trained the brain to not be positive on a daily scale of 1-10? When you start to repair damage the old input is still there as memory instinct and is strongly related to your whole life from birth - Current. Environment, relationships, any drugs either social or prescribed have to be taken in account etc