Adult temper tantrums?!
Question: Whenever something doesn't go my mothers way, and things are stressful, she tends to lash out on other people to get them stressed out. She then gets into some sort of temper tantrum by yelling and screaming and banging things against her head. She plucks her nails against her lips/teeth and scratches her face with her nails. I could never have a mature conversation with her, and she tends to ignore me if I have something important to say about whats going on. She then goes on her phone talks to her current boyfriend on how I cause so much stress, blaming me for everything and making me out to be the bad person. Has anyone experienced a similar problem with an ADULT?
Answers: Whenever something doesn't go my mothers way, and things are stressful, she tends to lash out on other people to get them stressed out. She then gets into some sort of temper tantrum by yelling and screaming and banging things against her head. She plucks her nails against her lips/teeth and scratches her face with her nails. I could never have a mature conversation with her, and she tends to ignore me if I have something important to say about whats going on. She then goes on her phone talks to her current boyfriend on how I cause so much stress, blaming me for everything and making me out to be the bad person. Has anyone experienced a similar problem with an ADULT?
I agree that your Mum needs some help, but only she can ask for it.
She may be having problems with her boyfriend, with money/ work or even general depression. It is an eye-opener when our children start settling into their own adult lives, and our lives suddenly look MUCH shorter, emptier, and less likely to be fun!
Initally, I think you need to learn to handle her, when she has a tantrum. And that is what it is! She behaves like a two year-old who is frustrated. She is frustrated... by something in her life.
So, you try to 'talk her down'. Talk to her quietly when she's raging. If you speak quietly, she is likely to calm down a bit, if only to hear what you say. Tell her gently, and repeatedly, to sit down quietly, so you can both sort things out. DON'T patronise her, or treat her like a child, this will only aggravate her further. If you remain quiet and calm she should become calmer. Ignore the fact that she is scratching herself, just talk to her adult to adult. This will give her a chance to gradually, retrieve her 'adult persona' from the 'stroppy child'.
If you get to the end of your tether, leave the room, quietly telling her that you can talk later. (Just like a toddler!) leave her for while to calm down, although she may break a few things at first!
Gradually, she will learn to calm down when you are speaking quietly and calmly to her: She will learn that you are not a threat and your voice will calm her more quickly.
Later on, if she is still unable to prevent her outbursts, you may find, by picking a good moment, when she's stable, that she will be receptive to sorting out this problem, with professional help. She will be able to see that it is interfering with her life, and making her unhappy.
I hope this will be a bit of help to you, and make you feel more hopeful.
Very best wishes to both of you.
Yes....my sister once threw a fit and knocked over my Christmas tree when she didn't get something she asked for for Christmas. Its really charming behavior (sarcasm)
my sons band teacher from a few years ago threw a tantrum in the class room, injured 3 students, including my son. my son was hit by a chair flying through the air. another student was hit by a music stand. and the other was pushed off his chair.
this teacher is still employed.
my son is now home schooled.
"Adult's" are kids who got older, doesn't always mean they grow up.
Sadly when they do grow up they may have mental problems.
Sadly again "It to shall pass"
yes...my mom does make me feel like a screw-up ALL the time.
She could be going through the 'menopause' She needs to see a doctor for some help. If she won't listen to you. Get one of her friends or a sister to talk to her. She does need help. Now.
Try not to let it get to you. You are not the problem, just her battering post.
Wow.. that's VERY immature.. haha, um I know that this isn't the horoscopes section, but what zodiac is she?
Edit: Wow... No wonder, pisces with the crazy mood swings they have! It must be tough living with someone like that, all I can say is try to wait it out and try to get her some help in any way that you can.. also let her know that you're there for her.... \
ps: i suck at giving advice but i did the best I could Lol.
My ex-husband has those everytime he is faced with a situation that he has no control over. It is their way of trying to regain control. The funny thing is that the only situation or person we can control is ourselves and they just try and control the people and situations around them.
It sounds like your mother needs mental help. I am sure she probably is this way with others at work as well. She sounds really stressed. My advice to you is get out if you can, otherwise that may be how you will in turn react to stress as a learned behavior. Get a therapist for yourself and maybe your therapist can talk your mom into going as well. Good luck and stay safe!
you should talk to a doctor about this. [if possible/] and maybe try talking to the boyfriend about it;; risky idea, but could help your mom out. this is NOT normal behavior and if left alone could start hurting YOU because of her anger; go to a counselor if you can't talk to a doctor, they can help you with this problem.
&& i'm sorry you have to go through this;; i can't believe she's acting so immaturely when she is an adult, much less and adult with a child. [well, probably teen.] people like that piss me off because they CAN control themselves they just choose not to and that's really stupid..
There are some adults that are so controlling and needy that they have tantrums to get your attention. They are like a little kid that gets mad if he doesn't get his way. And they need psychiatrists for these outburst. especially if they hurt themselves or others.