How bad, truly, is this "abuse"?!


Question: This is a genuine question, this isn't one of those questions like "Am I ugly?" and expect a whole lot of "No, You're SOO pretty"
So, when I was young, 8 is the earliest I can remember, my mother used to say "Let's slit our wrists together. We'll go up the vein so they can't save us." My dad confirmed yesterday that she used to say this A LOT, especially when she was drunk, which was quite often (I don't know why he didn't stop it though). And when I was 11 my mom took me to see this drug dealer with her and we bought pot and smoked it outside of my house and I remember her laughing at me because I didn't know how to draw, I was just bum-puffing. But yeah, my friend believes I have extremely low self-worth, and I don't see a lot of bad things that happen to me (rape) as that bad because of. So how bad is it? I mean in my opinion, it is not nice, but it's not like REALLY bad or nothing, and some people on here seemed shocked by what she did.


Answers: This is a genuine question, this isn't one of those questions like "Am I ugly?" and expect a whole lot of "No, You're SOO pretty"
So, when I was young, 8 is the earliest I can remember, my mother used to say "Let's slit our wrists together. We'll go up the vein so they can't save us." My dad confirmed yesterday that she used to say this A LOT, especially when she was drunk, which was quite often (I don't know why he didn't stop it though). And when I was 11 my mom took me to see this drug dealer with her and we bought pot and smoked it outside of my house and I remember her laughing at me because I didn't know how to draw, I was just bum-puffing. But yeah, my friend believes I have extremely low self-worth, and I don't see a lot of bad things that happen to me (rape) as that bad because of. So how bad is it? I mean in my opinion, it is not nice, but it's not like REALLY bad or nothing, and some people on here seemed shocked by what she did.

That is some SERIOUSLY messed up stuff. I suspect that it'll take a long time and some professional help to try to get over this kind of thing. It's totally not normal and really scary to hear someone say that it has ever happened.

Sweetie, this is terrible. It is just what you are used to. Not only did the things your mother did hurt you, but the good things you should have gotten but didn't are crippling you. You need to seek some professional help.

I think this kind of abuse is disgusting. Parents are supposed to be your role model and not supposed to get you addicted to harmful drugs. I hope your life had a turning point and your actually enjoying it, while being clean :)

Your mom was abusing you and your dad was complicitous.

I don't know how bad it is legally, but he wasn't much of a man or much of a father if he knew what was going on and didn't try to rescue you from that situation.
It worries me that he says he wasn't "allowed." That makes me think there was some dark secret over his head as well.

I'm glad you're so well-adjusted, but I have to say that it's quite remarkable considering what happened to you.

the 1 rule that noone can change is you cant change the past so dont make ur life a what i could or should have done just make it easy forget what you want to forget and do what you want to do simple right

I think you are not happy or comfortable with your past, and you have every right to be. I don't think it is normal to think rape isn't that bad. I have heard of people who committed suicide, were the "happiest" people on the outside. Not that you are suicidal, but your "happy" personality seems to be only hiding how you really feel. I think talking with a therapist or councilor might help you uncover any suppressed feelings and maybe make you happIER. Your childhood sounded very bad and I believe it will affect you whole life if you don't confront it.

well...
sounds like you have a lot on your plate
and as for abuse
probably
i mean getting high in front of you
and the earlier comment
yeah id say so
and as for rape not being a big deal
that is in fact a Huge deal
even if you dont think so at the moment
its big
and if rape didnt seem so bad in comparision to your parents then they must be really horribly bad
and yeah to a normal joe
that would be pretty shocking
but to me not so much
im 17 too
and my house isnt exactly ideal or normal as well
and rape does usually lead to low self worth
which is normal
so
im sorry i really am
and i know that doesnt fix it
or even really help
but sometimes you need to hear it
that i believe your really good person
and i barely know you
but trust me
if you havent gone off and done something crazy to them you are a good person
so
your almost to the finish line
just a little longer
and your 18
your free
it willl be worth it
i promise
keep the faith

I think that you will have a hard time getting over it. Something like that is traumatizing. I think that your sister shouldn't make a comment like that unless she went through what you went through. The rape thing is bad. I think that you do not think things as bad as they are because of what you went through. I think that you are traumatized in a way and you just learned to deal with it so you could keep yourself strong. I think that what you went through IS abuse, and your father should have definitely done something to stop it. Your father should have seen what was happening to you and went against your mother.

My psychologists have all told me that I have been severely verbally abused, and mildly physically abused, as well, although it always seemed normal to me. If how I grew up was abuse, your's certainly was as well, and far worse. The slitting-wrists bit is what I find the most repulsive. My mother is an alcoholic, as well.

You need to have someone to talk to you and you need to face and understand the severity of your past abuse, and someone (preferably a professional) needs to help you through this.

Although, the past is the past, and you have the power to overcome it, and it seems like you are well on the road to doing so. Keep it up, girl!

I'm so sorry that happened to you. The abuse WAS bad and your father should have stopped it. You seem to have endured what you went through pretty well but I must say that your past does affect you in one way or another, if not now then in the future. You seem like a strong person to me but seeking therapy to deal with your past is a good idea. Sometimes you think you're ok with something only to realize later that you're not ok with it and that's when things get complicated. Low self esteem isn't good, that can affect your future in so many ways. Even if you feel ok with what happened, go see a therapist about it and see what he/she has to say. Just to be on the safe side. You're worth it. Good luck hun.





The consumer health information on answer-health.com is for informational purposes only and is not a substitute for medical advice or treatment for any medical conditions.
The answer content post by the user, if contains the copyright content please contact us, we will immediately remove it.
Copyright © 2007-2011 answer-health.com -   Terms of Use -   Contact us

Health Categories