How can I help my boyfriend think positively?!
Question: My boyfriend is on Lexapro, and has been for a couple of years. He tried Efexor, I guess to no avail. From what I understand, Lexapro "levels" him out.
I did research, and Lexapro is really something that's supposed to be temporary. Like, you're supposed to talk to a counselor and then get off of it. However, he won't talk to anyone. I suffer from anxiety, and now he's pushing for me to get on Lexapro, as well. (I really don't want to) But it's becoming a problem. He thinks I should, I don't think I need to since I'm taking action to correct it. Thinking positively works wonders for me, but how can I get him to at least try it? It seems like he's fine with not trying and always being somewhat satisfied. There is nothing I want more than to see him truly happy, but he seems unmotivated to even try.
I don't know if I can be with someone who practically refuses to be happy. Because it brings me down to see him down. I just can't live like that. It's unhealthy. Advice?
Answers: My boyfriend is on Lexapro, and has been for a couple of years. He tried Efexor, I guess to no avail. From what I understand, Lexapro "levels" him out.
I did research, and Lexapro is really something that's supposed to be temporary. Like, you're supposed to talk to a counselor and then get off of it. However, he won't talk to anyone. I suffer from anxiety, and now he's pushing for me to get on Lexapro, as well. (I really don't want to) But it's becoming a problem. He thinks I should, I don't think I need to since I'm taking action to correct it. Thinking positively works wonders for me, but how can I get him to at least try it? It seems like he's fine with not trying and always being somewhat satisfied. There is nothing I want more than to see him truly happy, but he seems unmotivated to even try.
I don't know if I can be with someone who practically refuses to be happy. Because it brings me down to see him down. I just can't live like that. It's unhealthy. Advice?
any anti-depressant twists and torques ones world. Prozac is really infamous for this.
he is in a comfort zone. to be off the pill, as he sees it, is a risky deal and the chance that he will once again climb down into the abyss.
In any psychological disorder and subsequent function, the patient wants to find stability, more than zest, or a perfect life. it's far worse for any one who is a neurotic, for the truth never is, and any analysis is from a twisted mind that really doesn't, (nor wants) to see which way is true north.
he is like an old car, it is functioning, but breaks here and there, but as long as it works and plugs along, why go out and get a new car, whose problems and breakdowns may be impossible to master? Or a new life, with predicaments that may not be as easy to conquer as the current illusion he lives in. What is sane and isn't, isn't the deal here, only stability to keep moving; forward, backward, sideways. Moving = Stability. change = risk.
If you can't live that way, well, only you can make the decision to move on. He has his own burdens and it isn't likely he's going to change things around anytime soon
Find some positive movies and preview them . As he is watching insist on discussions. Let him speak as he thinks.
Wow I have a ton of experience with that. My husband and I went through similar stuff. He used to take zoloft but quit after about a yr. I have been taking it for 3 yrs. I suggest you DONT take it if you can feel better in other natural ways. (exercise, mediation/prayer, etc)
My husband used to be pretty down ALL the time. To be honest I prayed for him. I also showed him by example. I started working out and eating healthy. He saw what it did for me.
You're right--it is unhealthy to be with someone who brings you down. It's very insightful of you to realize you cannot make him be happy; he has to want to be happy for himself. If you already have an anxiety disorder, that's enough to deal with without having to deal with his not wanting to be happy. Maybe he is just not ready in life to want it. You cannot make him motivated, and you have to take care that you're doing all you can not to get pulled down. Your boyfriend has no business trying to tell you what medication to be on. It sounds like to me that since he is not motivated to help himself he just wants you to be like him...And you are right, thinking positively can actually change brain chemistry for the better...you are on the right track. Stay on it. You can invite your boyfriend to come along with you as you improve your life, but you are VERY right not to stay with him if he continues to try to bring you down or refuses to help himself up. It'll be a life of misery if you let him drag you down. You deserve to be happy. Actually so does he, but he has to choose it for himself. I'm so very proud of you that you have such great insight, and strength to stand up for what you know is good for you, and readiness to take action to make sure you have it. YOU GO GIRL!!
I have taking about 5 different anxiety meds including the one your BF is taking. My advise from my experience is that maybe his lexpro is not right for him. Lexpro was the first anxiety med i ever took and i seriously just made me not care about anything at all. I had wasn't care free or care less. Just more like mellowed out all the time, and would think and do things that we rent really me. My advise as another fellow sever anxiety person is that, being on meds for your anxiousness is for sure suppose to be short term. He needs to decided on his own to get help you pushing him will never work. I have been battling server social anxiety for about 10 years and it is a hard battle that takes interest on your own part. As you very well know. and I hate meds, but I have panic attacks without them, an if I could go with out them I would. So for you i hope you can stay off them. For your bf depending on what type of anxiety he has, whether it is social, performance, or whatever. He will have to step up to the plate himself and seek counseling which does truly help. The counselors will help him figure out what guess his anxious racing thoughts and teach him ways to calm himself down usually by thinking more rationally about the situations. Good luck, Try not to worry about him to much. Take care of yourself.
Um, do you really want a relationship with someone who refuses to be happy?