Borderline Personality.?!
Question: I was diagnosed with this awhile ago. And I am just very confused about it. At first I was in denial about it, and now I am fully accepting this diagnoses. I keep reading symptoms online, and every possible description of borderline personality describes me. My mom does not accept this, she thinks I have problems, but that their less severe than this? The problem is, she doesn't know about my eating habits and self mutilation that I sometimes participate in. (I have told my counselor). My mom is not wanting to accept this, and she will not let me get a prescription for this diagnosis? I am currently taking an ADD medication, and she thinks that I should see if this medication helps me, but it really doesn't? What can I do to help her understand me? She never does? And do you know any good support websites for Borderline Personality? Thanks, all answers are appreciated!
Answers: I was diagnosed with this awhile ago. And I am just very confused about it. At first I was in denial about it, and now I am fully accepting this diagnoses. I keep reading symptoms online, and every possible description of borderline personality describes me. My mom does not accept this, she thinks I have problems, but that their less severe than this? The problem is, she doesn't know about my eating habits and self mutilation that I sometimes participate in. (I have told my counselor). My mom is not wanting to accept this, and she will not let me get a prescription for this diagnosis? I am currently taking an ADD medication, and she thinks that I should see if this medication helps me, but it really doesn't? What can I do to help her understand me? She never does? And do you know any good support websites for Borderline Personality? Thanks, all answers are appreciated!
I have lived with BPD since I can remember. I was not diagnosed until I was 21. I must stress that the poster who says you cant have it because everyone who has it is in denial
IS DEAD WRONG.
People with BPD are often aware that 'something isn't right'
because most people with BPD are above average intelligence.
Please explain to your mother that people with untreated mental illness usually turn to alcohol and drugs because it covers up the disease.
When you are drunk/high all the time your mind rationalizes the 'something isnt right' as a result of your addiction - which actually worsens your illness. I speak from experience in this: I was a cutter from the ages of 12-15...
from 15-20 I was high EVERY DAY...
as soon as I got sober I started cutting again.
I am now 29 years old and no longer mutilate myself- although the thoughts NEVER truly go away- you just have to gain the control over them.
THERE IS HELP!
Your mother may very well be trying to protect you in her own way- alot of anti psycotic and anti-depression meds have been shown to cause suicide in teens.
I spent several years seeing a therapist who specialized in cognative therapy- It has changed my life.
I learned how to catch myself when I was losing control- or slipping into a numb state
I learned how to calm myself- how to deal with myself when I do lose control- effective alternatives to cutting... and the list gos on and on.
While I am the exception and not the rule- I NEVER TOOK A MEDICATION- I told my therapist up front that I had a baby at home and I wouldnt be taking anything that might make me unable to care for him- and if he couldnt help me - I would find help elsewhere.
I believe that long term medication actually becomes more of a hindrance- especially to someone your age
it tends to cover the symptoms and kill the cure
I believe that we need to learn how to LIVE with and CONTROL the symptoms of BPD
If we do not learn our boundries and limitations because our symptoms are covered up - we will not know when we really need EMERGENCY CARE.
Please show this to your mother - and let her know that this is not the scarlet letter!
I have 2 well adjusted kids- both honor roll students
I have a marriage that has lasted 8 years
and I have actually owned and successfully operated my own business
This diagnosis is not where your life ends - IT IS WHERE THE GOOD PART OF YOUR LIFE BEGINS! because now you KNOW- and KNOWING is half the battle
Good luck and God Bless!!
jessica
Well, the only thing I can think of to say is that if you believe you have BPD you probably don't, because one of the symptoms of BPD is the total refusal to believe that there is a problem. The BPD person usually believes that the problem is with other people, not with him/her. So if you have it, it's probably a mild form, if that's any relief.
I know you probably don't want to do this but... you really need to open up to your mom. Eating disorder, thoughts of hurting yourself, if she knew these she might take it a little more serious. I know it sucks and it isn't guarantied to work if she won't listen but you have to be honest with her or nothing is going to change.
Wow, I don't know much about borderline personality disorder, but I just wanted to offer you my support.
I have depression and anxiety and chronic sleeping problems, and it is really hard to get people to uderstand that there is something chemically and physically wrong with you, and it is not just "in your head", or something that will go away and you will get better.
So, keep forging ahead, and be strong and advocate for yourself. I know how hard it is, and I just wanted to let you know that you are not alone!
If you`re in denial, get a second opinion..... But, I`d hate to have that diagnosis. Sorry, I would.It`s hard to treat, and the affected person destroys everyone in their paths lives. But for the fact that you`re concern about your diagnosis, I would think you`re not. Borderlines seldom seek help, unless it`s ordered.
Your mom sounds like she needs to get help.
I empathize for you. My girlfriend has recently been diagnosed with BPD and Bipolar Disorder. Fortunately, she is not in denial and is reaching out for support and will begin taking medication soon. They are looking at putting her on a mood stabilizer. My understanding is the BPD is diagnosed with other disorders like Bipolar and Schizo Affective. I'd be careful taking ADD medication unless you are sure that you aren't Bipolar. We've been told that anti-depressants could stimulate that Mania in Bipolar.
Collect as much information on the illness as you can. It's you that has to live with the illness, not your Mom.
One site that has some information is www.nami.org. Their might be support groups in your area and you can find that information on their site.
There are also books on Amazon about BPD. Read up and follow your Pyschiatrists suggestions.
Good luck!
Secrets are the first thing that keeps us sick with whatever the diagnoses maybe.Tell your Counselor it is impertinent
they discuss your B.L.personality problems w/h your mother.
If you choose to ask Jesus to heal you and make you every
Wit whole.I have had many labels in my life, I choose to ask
The Lord's direction on them all.Jesus is the ultimate healer.
Get a second opinion on your diagnosis.Better safe then sorry.When you cut on yourself that means self loathing.
Overeating and under eating is in that same category,I pray you find the help you need.
First of all, if somebody has been living with BPD without a diagnoses for an extended period of time, and have a reason to seek help (such as having children), they won't be in denial. They will finally realize that they do not have normal reactions to situations, and have extreme difficulty staying in stable relationships. They will seek help - unless they enjoy the party life, sleeping around and doing drugs, which they will happily stay in denial.
A person with this disorder will also often exhibit impulsive behaviors and have a majority of the following symptoms:
Frantic efforts to avoid real or imagined abandonment
A pattern of unstable and intense interpersonal relationships characterized by alternating between extremes of idealization and devaluation
Identity disturbance: markedly and persistently unstable self-image or sense of self
Impulsivity in at least two areas that are potentially self-damaging (e.g., spending, sex, substance abuse, reckless driving, binge eating)
Recurrent suicidal behavior, gestures, or threats, or self-mutilating behavior
Affective instability due to a marked reactivity of mood (e.g., intense episodic dysphoria, irritability, or anxiety usually lasting a few hours and only rarely more than a few days)
Chronic feelings of emptiness
Inappropriate, intense anger or difficulty controlling anger (e.g., frequent displays of temper, constant anger, recurrent physical fights)
Transient, stress-related paranoid ideation or severe dissociative symptoms
Sorry to hear about your situation with you mom, unfortunetly it is very common where parents do not accept the diagnosis of their child ( even me and I'm in my 20s). The best thing to do is to talk to her and if you have read any books regarding bpd give them to her to read, as far as some suggestions " Get me out of here" by Rachel Reiland, "I hate you don't leave me", and "stop walking on egg shells". As far as the medication try your best to figure out between what your doctor is telling you, what your mom think and most importantly what you think and want to do, and make a choice on what you want to try, in the end you are the one dealing with this not your mom and not your doctor so try your best to make a decision.
personally I would say listen to your doctor and if the meds don't work right for you after a decent time of trail you can stop it.
best of luck.
You should tell her about how you cut yourself, and your eating disorder. Maybe this will show her you need more than ADD medication.
You mom sounds like she's in denial. She should take you to get a 2nd and 3rd opinion about the diagnosis. You may not have it. I was diagnosed with it when I was 24 and was going through serious problems (cutting, severe depression, suicidal). I tried so many different meds and they don't work unless you get the help or counseling (or recover in time). I am not sure which medication you take but if it's Ritilin or Adderall, it could make things worse. Get into a group therapy and talk to them if your mom won't listen. At least you have a support group of understanding people. My dad doesn't "believe" in BPD and depression. He used to tell me to get out and jog when I felt depressed or tired. I'm 29 now and have been through all that. The funny thing is a year ago when I went to see a doc he said I don't have BPD. I know a lot about this and I'd be happy to talk more about it or answer any more questions. Feel free to drop me a line on 360 anytime.. here's a good website too http://www.bpdcentral.com/resources/libr...