Behavioral disorder or spoiled brat?!
Question: So my brother is 9 years old, the youngest of 4. For as long as I can remember, he has always acted up worse than any of the rest of us. It seems to get worse with age, not better as I hoped.
He throws huge tantrums on a daily basis, which usually include throwing and breaking things around the house, calling my mother bad names (he argues with her the most, but he fights with us as well), spitting, stomping around, etc. My mom yells at him, but she has basically given up because it occurs so often. He causes a lot of stress in the house, especially to her.
Recently his new catch phrase has been "I don't care". He says it for anything and everything. Today he even said that if I died he wouldn't care. (talking about a time I slipped fell in the middle of a street) He actually said those words "If you died I wouldn't have cared". That is NOT normal behavior. There are sooo many other things I could write a book.
So what is he, sick? spoiled? Satan? All of the above?
Answers: So my brother is 9 years old, the youngest of 4. For as long as I can remember, he has always acted up worse than any of the rest of us. It seems to get worse with age, not better as I hoped.
He throws huge tantrums on a daily basis, which usually include throwing and breaking things around the house, calling my mother bad names (he argues with her the most, but he fights with us as well), spitting, stomping around, etc. My mom yells at him, but she has basically given up because it occurs so often. He causes a lot of stress in the house, especially to her.
Recently his new catch phrase has been "I don't care". He says it for anything and everything. Today he even said that if I died he wouldn't care. (talking about a time I slipped fell in the middle of a street) He actually said those words "If you died I wouldn't have cared". That is NOT normal behavior. There are sooo many other things I could write a book.
So what is he, sick? spoiled? Satan? All of the above?
I'm a therapist who works with children and I believe that a "spoiled child" is one that expects everything to be given to them on a silver platter, not one that acts out in serious ways. When children act out, they are trying to communicate something to the people in their lives who are in a position of helping them. They don't know how to express themselves any other way. Any child that throws things and breaks things is not a happy child. Any child that even thinks about family members dying, let alone wishing they would die, is not a happy child. No nine year old should even have death in their mind, let alone wishing it to happen to someone close to them. Nine year olds should be playing and laughing.
Your little brother says "I don't care" because it's like his way of saying, "I give up. I don't know what's wrong with me and no one else does either, so I throw my hands up and give up." It's a way of defending against the pain he is feeling and also against the way he is responded to when he acts out that pain. Imagine feeling horribly, about yourself and everything else and not knowing how to deal with it and then doing awful things to the people you love the most because of how bad you feel and then having the people you love the most get angry at you. What an awfully painful place to be. My guess is that is what happens when he's with anyone....At home, at school, with peers....There's probably nowhere he feels "okay". No child should live like that. : (
Your little brother needs help and he's doing anything and everything to communicate that to people that could be helping him. I suggest that you cut and paste this answer to your question and email it to your mother. I suggest that he be seen by a psychologist who can do some testing to determine if this is a biological condition or something more behavioral and get him the help he needs either way. He would probably do very well with seeing a therapist who helps children. Play therapy is a way of helping kids who are anxious, depressed, angry, etc. express how they feel through their play. It's very effective and the child doesn't even know they're in "therapy"!
Try to remember that when he acts that way that he is crying out for help. Until he can get in to see a therapist, the best thing you can do as his big sister is to say things to him in a calm voice like, "(His name), you seem really angry, what do you want to say....I'm listening..." Or, "When you hit like that and say mean things to me you must be really hurting inside. Let's talk about that." Or "I know that when you yell and scream and stomp around you must be really angry. I know how you feel. Sometimes I get angry, too. Wanna talk about it?" If you can help him put words to his feelings you would be doing him such a favor. He has NO idea how to express himself. He needs help from people like you, his big sister.
Good luck and I hope this is helpful! : ]
i do think he has a behavorial disorder....cause even spoiled brats do not go that far....no, it's not the devil. religion has nothing to do with people behaving a certain way. i mean, some extremist would probably say i'm possessed since i am bipolar...but who knows. your parents need to take him to a psychiatrist, no not a reg doctor because they do not specialize in mental disorders. at 9 years old he should know that how he acts is bad...therapy could help, but only psychs know about medications for mental disorders.....and yeah, he'd be prescribed medicine....but it's worth it. good luck
I hate people like this, he has problems in his head. I reckon just kick the little sh!t out of the house;
He is certainly not satan. Children behave in a way that works for them. Being the youngest he may feel left out, and craves attention. Being naughty may be the only way he knows how. Before presuming he has a disorder or is a brat, first have a look at his life. Does he get enough stimulation? Is there enough family time? Doing things with him as a family like playing card games, sports, family outtings can all help to make him feel loved. Effort on everyones part will help to determine whether his naughtiness was really just a cry out for affection. He is very young and at his age his behaviour is probably just a reaction to his surroundings. He may just be lonely. As a sibling it is probably hard to think of your brother as just needing more family attention, but you should deffinately talk to you mum and help make him feel like he is important. It will take time but hopefully he will calm down.
Before putting him on any medications you really need to rule out everything else.
I think that there are two issues going on here and one of them is that your mother has stopped parenting. IF she would do two things it would help immensely. She needs to put her foot down no matter how bad that makes it for a while, She needs to remember that she's the parent and he's the child and she need to take him into therapy and to figure out why she won't act like a parent. Not every child is guaranteed to be trouble free, you don't just give up, because you're not doing the child any good. IF someone doesn't do something soon he's likely going to end up in trouble. I'm not sure how old your mother is and you don't say where your father is, but someone has to step up and parent this child before the pancake hits the fan.
He needs psychotherapy & anger management classes. Maybe a few weeks in the psych ward to get his behavior under control.