Am I depressed or just feeling sorry for myself?!
Question: When I was 11 years old(7 years ago)my brother died of cancer, since then I havent been the happiest kid.. Now im getting to 18 years old, I feel like I Dont have anything to show for my life so far. I go to college, I want to go to Uni, I find it hard to take part in activities that i used to LOVE. I hardly ever go out.. I go out around 3 times a week to see a friend (Not including college) I go out to the pub or to a party every few weeks. I really don't have the proper life of an 18 year old yet.. I find it hard to sleep, it takes me around 45 minutes to an hour to fall to sleep properly, I feel like im in a deep sleep but I get awoken very easily. I over eat and I am gaining weight very fast where I don't exercise or get out enough. I fear death alot. All that I love to do now is watch movies and listen to music and chill out.. but then it usually results in me crying where I feel like such an idiot with no life etc.
What do i do? Seek help? Or am I just feeling sorry for myself?
Answers: When I was 11 years old(7 years ago)my brother died of cancer, since then I havent been the happiest kid.. Now im getting to 18 years old, I feel like I Dont have anything to show for my life so far. I go to college, I want to go to Uni, I find it hard to take part in activities that i used to LOVE. I hardly ever go out.. I go out around 3 times a week to see a friend (Not including college) I go out to the pub or to a party every few weeks. I really don't have the proper life of an 18 year old yet.. I find it hard to sleep, it takes me around 45 minutes to an hour to fall to sleep properly, I feel like im in a deep sleep but I get awoken very easily. I over eat and I am gaining weight very fast where I don't exercise or get out enough. I fear death alot. All that I love to do now is watch movies and listen to music and chill out.. but then it usually results in me crying where I feel like such an idiot with no life etc.
What do i do? Seek help? Or am I just feeling sorry for myself?
I think your problem might be brought about by the fact that you think your life should be like it is in the movies. But life is not like that, I mean who decides what an average 18yr olds life should be.
Stop trying to live your life as though there's a prescribed mode written in stone, rather start writing your own story. Take your life into your hands, instead of dwelling on what you don't have, dwell on and appreciate what you do have.
Live your own life. And that life consists of having lost a brother when you were young, having one friend you visit 3 or so times a week, going to college.
Find something creative you enjoy doing and do that and cutdown on movies a tad, they're not always a healthy option when you're down. Learn how to draw or paint or a musical instrument or fixing stuff... anything, as long as you find that you love doing it, do that.
Every moment you have to yourself, observe your own thoughts, get to know who you are, you'll find in the end that as long as you've got you, you don't need much else.
Oh, in answer to your question, you're focusing on what's missing in your life, and the natural side-effect of that is that you'll feel sorry for yourself and depressed. There's nothing, absolutely nothing wrong with you that a good friend can't heal. But in the absence of a friend who is wise enough, you've got us at Y/A.
So now go, and write the story of your life anew, counting everything that you do have and paying no nevermind to what's missing, for if its not there, its not as yet a part of your life, if you wish to write it into your script, let it take the form of silent prayer, that you may be graced by such and such in time. And worry not if you will have it or not, for if it is meant for you, you shall surely have it.
Tarry not, your life awaits you.
Now go create as your creator commanded, create with passion and faith and LOVE and courage, create with truth and joy and humble deference to the universe and its splendour.
I think you are depressed. See your doctor who may refer you to a counsellor.
well those thing you describe sound normal to me. They are life's "little miseries". If you are struggling to cope, it could be that you are just WEAK. crawl out of your shelter biaitx!
Your not over your brother death and it is clearly eatting away at your life...you need to go to your gp explain how u feel and they will advise you on who you will need to speak to about your problems
Get help. This might be clinical depression or you may just be obsessive. Either way, counselling will help you gain some self-esteem.
no i don't think your feeling sorry for yourself, go see your GP who will probably send you to see a counsellor, i think that anyone who experiences a death in their family at a young age should get counselling as i did when it happened to me and you are not wasting your life your in college for so you can have a better future, that is great. xox
You sound depressed to me.
You need to move on with your life (Im sure your brother would want that for you)
Please get some help.
Yes yu need to seek help. I think you may not have finished greiving over the loss of your brother. You need to talk to a counciler (sp) to help you sort out your feelings. He can help you set your world to rights.
hi you have been through alot for someone young to deal with
think you are depressed & you are needing to talk to some one about how you are feeling .
try talking to mum or dad even your friend ask them if they will come to the doctor with you for some support .
hope you begin to feel a bit better soon
You are just feeling sorry for yourself - all you feelings are based on your *assumption* of what everyone else is doing and deciding you don't have the same.
Very very few 18 year old have done anything in life that is significant to the world. If you want to do something that is significant to yourself, pursue a hobby.
You go out and socialise 10 times more than me. You are going out as much as you like to but instead of feeling satisfied with that, you are feeling that you should be the same as other people. How do you know that they aren't wishing that they could stay at home more like you but feel pressured to go out?
You don't sleep well because you are busy looking for something to blame for the way your life is, that doesn't involve you getting off your *** and doing something about it.
If you feel unhealthy and over-eat... STOP.
If you fear death - go to church. You don't haave to believe in God but being around people with faith in being a good person during life can make a world of difference to the concept of death.
Crying is good, it is human.
What i suggest you do is write a list of things you want in life. Anything. Then get on the phone and sort it out.
Get into some voluntary work - seeing and helping people who have nothing, really put your own problems into perspective... Maybe some cancer charity?
There is nothing wrong with you :)
I think you are depressed and I am an expert on depression, having suffered it several times in my life. The first thing I would advise is obviously to see your doctor and don't be afraid to take medication if your doctor thinks you need it. I have taken it from time to time and it has never harmed me. You may need to take it for about a year, or perhaps less but if you are prescribed it don't give up until you are really sure you are able to cope.
The second thing I would like to say to you is try to think about what your brother would wish for you. I feel sure he would like you to be happy and lead a full life. However, that is not an easy way to think if you are depressed, so I would recommend that you contact an organisation called CRUISE. It is to help people over bereavement issues. It doesn't matter how long ago you were bereaved, they will still help you. You might have to wait a little while before they can see you but please consider it.
You need Jesus Christ in your life at this point. You can be what you want to be only if you accept your situation and change it. Change is constant and you have to change your mindset to something good and positive. We all have been through a lot but we have to change the situation for better. It is a matter of time. The Power for betterment is in your hands and you have to use it. You can visit the church for guidance and I will recommend the Seventh-day Adventist church close to you. Also feel free to mail me anytime: ifeanyiokpara@yahoo.com
I think what you are feeling is that emptyness of losing someone close to you , i know ,its been 8 yrs for me now, your brother would'ent want you to feel like this, you have to think about the good times ,this is what he would have wanted,dont waste your life away, so do something possitive ,we all lose loved ones sometime in our lives, and its very hard to let go, but really my friend you have your life,and your brother would want the best for you,
What do you mean you are just feeling sorry for yourself? If anything, you're being hard on yourself. Who, by choice, would bring all those things on themselves? All of your symptoms, and I won't repeat them, are typical symptoms of depression. Please do go see a psychotherapist. Why not? Whether your depression is passing or long-term chemically ingrained, it's not just going to go away like that. Sure, exercise, seeing friends, having goals help, but how is a depressed person going to get there without help? You're just going to get worse being mad at yourself...
No your not feeling sorry for yourself, your in whats called a depression, and it sucks I know, I have been there. I sought mental health help and went on meds they work then when I got off I meditate and participate in color magic, and paranormal hunting, skrying . I beat that depression I was younger, now I am 35 with 3 kids and happy. Life throws alot of curves I recently lost my mom so I know its hard she died of cancer, Bless your heart.All these people have very caring answers .
youre definitley depressed. There should be someone on campus that should help you.
You do sound like you could be depressed.
As above get advice from your GP, and they can refer you on to someone that can help. Either through a little help with meds and/or therapy you could easily turn this around!
If you were simply feeling sorry for yourself you would have moved on by now, please try to get help!